


Heal My Dead Heart

by Fierra2000



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Broken Harry, Cutting, Daddy Kink, Gang Rape, Healing, Innocent Harry, Love, M/M, Making Love, Oral Sex, Rape, Rape Recovery, Self-Harm, Student Harry, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Teacher Louis, Virgin Louis
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-08
Updated: 2016-11-27
Packaged: 2018-05-25 10:57:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 16
Words: 47,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6192319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fierra2000/pseuds/Fierra2000
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>❝You can't heal what's already dead...❞</p>
<p>❝Wouldn't kill to try.❞</p>
<p>Louis Tomlinson moves to America from England to be a geometry and theater teacher, meeting a shy antisocial senior student named Harry Styles. He finds out that the kid is very unopened & depressed - noticing that almost everyone bothers him about a "little" mistake.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Preface

**Author's Note:**

> This story is also on WattPad - I wanted to try out this website. Enjoy!

 

"Could I get a private room with Harry Styles?" I asked impatiently while standing in front of the bar.

The bartender was drying a cup with some towel he eventually flung over his shoulder. "Yo, Trever!" he shouts out to someone far from the bar area.

I turn my head to watch some man in a white buttoned shirt walk over to us. "What's the problem?"

"He wants a private room with Harry."

The man laughs and I furrow my brows at him. "Lots of men are requesting to see that boy. He's already in back with -"

"I don't give a fuck who's back there with him. He's coming home with me so where exactly is he? Back there?" I pointed to a pink lit area where some people are going in and out.

"Ahh, you must be that Louis guy Harry mentioned. Well, he told me not to let you near him. So, either find yourself another stripper or you have to -"

I walk away from the man and the bar heading towards the area I saw where I'm sure Harry is.

I can't believe he actually told his boss not to let me in here. It's like everything I say to him goes in one ear and out the other.

But, I don't have time to argue with people. I'm bringing him home if he likes it or not.

I stopped walking once I was standing in a dark pink lit hallway with many doors. _How the hell am I suppose to know which room Haz is in?_

I look around to see if there's any strippers leaving the rooms to ask where Harry is, but there's only men and some women that look like customers. 

Harry wouldn't dance for a girl so I'll ask a guy. I stood in front of one as he walked out a door four feet away from me. "Hey - were you with a Harry Styles?"

"Uh, no. I was with Curly."

I nod while looking away, "That's Harry. Thanks." I walk past him over to the door he left. I turn the nob and open it.

There I see beauty standing near a pole fixing his police hat on his head. Eventually, he looks up at me with wide eyes. "...I told you not to come here." he says quietly.

I close the door while shaking my head. "I couldn't be any more disappointed in you - after we _talked_ about this you're going to go behind my back and become a -"

"You talked! I listened! Then, I did whatever the hell I wanted to do!"

"You don't have to do this!"

"Yes, I do! For years people have been making me feel disgusting so why not finish the job?" 

"You're wrong. Dominique hasn't made you feel disgusting. Niall hasn't made you feel disgusting. And I most definitely haven't made you feel anything but loved and cared for." I take a few steps to be closer to him but he backs away.

"Don't." He voice sounded as if it cracked. "...I'm so grateful for the love and care you gave me. You made me feel better and stopped me from killing myself, but..." he shrugs. "I feel like my mistake is everywhere, and not even you can delete that from my life. It's always..always going to be there. No matter how much I run from it."

"Haz, I want you to come home with me. We can move away. We can do whatever makes you happy - just not _this_. This isn't going to do anything for you - this isn't making you feel better."

"This does make me feel better. Everyone says I'm a slut, so I'm not gonna cry I'm just gonna be. Acting like a slut doesn't hurt as much as being called one cause now it's true. And if you don't mind I gotta get back out there. I have a dance to perform." he starts walking over to me where the door is.

"You really think I'm gonna let you leave this door?"

"Fine. If you want a free lap dance and a _secret ride_ , then take a seat where ever you want." his face was very lose to mine to where I could feel his breath hit my mouth

"Haz, _no_ -"

"Oh, come on, Mr. Tomlinson. With my tight short leather shorts, my loose half unbuttoned shirt, my handcuffs, my long curly straight hair, and my police hat, how could you resist anything hotter?" he placed his hand on my chest and slowly slid them down to my pants until he finished talking.

"You must have really lost it if you think I'm going to give in to whatever the hell you're doing. I'm not like everyone else and you knew from the moment we met on the stairs. All I ever wanted and still want to do is love and help you."

Harry scoffs while shoving me away from the door so he can open it. "Cut the bullshit we were going to have sex at some point during your _help_."

I'm still stunned at hearing Harry swear. He's never sworn since I met him in the second month of his senior year. He was such an innocent boy and now...

"You're wrong again." I turn around to face him. "I didn't want to have sex with you. When you were comfortable enough and ready to _really_ let someone in, then I wanted to make love to you. There's a difference." I watch him roll his eyes. "I wanted to heal you."

He shakes his head a little bit. "You can't heal what's dead." he walks out of the room leaving me standing here unsure of what to do now.

...Maybe I should just give up on him...


	2. New Teacher.

❅Louis❅

I was walking through the doors of Oaks Wood High School in Seattle, America. It's my first teaching job in America. I've been transferred here from a private school in England, which has nothing to do with the arts. Being in this art school is a new experience for me including living in the United States. I got pulled over by the cops a few blocks down for driving in the wrong lane. I completely forgot that in America they drive on the right side, and the wheel is on the left.

I'm actually pretty excited to be here only because I've always wanted to be in the US. I hear about the low education system here, but that's okay. I'm sure there's lots of bright students here, but they could be just a bit lazy. Geometry isn't the best thing to learn as a child, but when you have a teacher like me you'll never wanna leave the class. I enjoy teaching geometry more than you can shake a stick at. It's fun to just solve big looking problems, and get a correct answer. It's fun to write down notes on all the directions you need to follow in order to get your answer. I mean, not everyone finds that to be fun, but I'll allow the students to pull out their headphones and cells to relax with music so they're not too stressed with the work.

I'm also a drama teacher. I enjoy teaching theater and acting period. It's a fun and great way to escape from reality for several hours or a few minutes. Playing a different person or even a different species could be for anyone nowadays. Even if that person can't act they'll still have a blast trying, and that's mostly why I teach the activity. I want everyone to get to try out the experience of escaping real life to just play a character in another world. In another dilemma. In another school maybe. Or In another country even.

As I was walking, passing students in the hallway I was picking up on some bad behaviors that I'd never see in my old school. Students were throwing books, papers, pencils, phones. Couples were kissing against their lockers, teachers were walking by not paying it any mind. I saw a couple of guys knocking books out of a nerdy looking guys arms, I saw slutty looking girls downing a classy looking female with glasses on and puffy hair. Damn, is there anyone respectful here?

I realized I was losing my focus worrying about all these reckless kids, and started looking at the numbers on the classroom doors. My classroom was numbered 1103C, but I didn't know what the 'C' stood for. I noticed that the doors I was looking at all had an 'A' at the end of each number. So, I'm guessing my classroom is on the...third floor?

I started to look for the stairs - which didn't take me long - and I jogged up them until I got to the middle where there's a giant square for lots of people to stand on. (Except no one's on it - the staircase is empty). I didn't stand long cause I bumped into someone knocking coffee on both of us.

"Ah, shit!" I shouted from the burning going through my chest. I looked down at the front of my white shirt now covered in a light brown steamy stain.

"I am so sorry." I heard a cracked voice speak making me look down at curly/straight hair leveled with my knees. Did I bump into a girl?

Nope, it was a boy when he stood up with his books wrapped in his arms. He looked straight at my face with his...innocent looking one. It was so adorable. His eyes were big and glossy with beautiful green irises. (I think his eyes are only big because he seems a bit scared of getting his coffee all over my shirt). His lips were small and magenta looking with a bit cracked lines in them. His skin looked a bit pale and smooth in the bright school lighting. His hair is so long and gorgeous, like females I could say. Why does this boy have so many female traits? Or is it just me?

I smirked at the younger boy which made his whole expression change. He closed his eyes and slumped his shoulder while dipping his head down a little. "Please, sir. I really just wanna get to class."

I frowned at the boy. What is he talking about? "Uhm...Don't worry about the shirt. I'll deal with it for the remainder of the day. Uh...You could get to class. I don't wanna hold you up."

The boy looked up slowly with his eyes smaller than before, much more glossy - as if he's tearing up. He somewhat looked confused and relieved at the same time. "T-Thank you...sir," he looks away while blinking several times, and walking away down where I came from. I feel bad for him because he seems so...scared...or something. I'm always good at reading people and I definitely feel a bad vibe off the kid - I just can't find the right words.

I eventually found my classroom and settled myself down. There was no one in the class yet which confused me because I thought class started at seven thirty. I sat down in my chair that wheels around, and saw attendance sheets for all four periods of geometry. I looked through the sheets reading each name thoroughly until I heard a bell ring and students walking inside my room. Shit! I forgot to put my name on the board! Why am I getting so distracted?

I got out of my seat and turned around towards the white board - which I'm not used to since in England we use chalkboards. I grab a black marker and write down my name in the middle of the board in big cursive letters. I then capped the marker and sat back down in my chair. All the students were sitting down in their chairs, on the desks, and just chatting amongst themselves. I just frowned at them. I'm not used to this type of behavior, I'd expect this to have stopped at the lockers.

❅

I'm so glad it's almost time for lunch then art classes then home. I'm tired of all these students already. No one listens to a damn thing I'm saying. I tell everyone to stop talking, stop eating, stop play fighting, stop anything that isn't geometry and no one pays me any mind. I felt like punching the whiteboard or just punching one of them! I'm just gonna let these kids talk while I stare at the clock like a hawk waiting for it to hit twelve-thirty. Right now the clock says twelve-twenty nine.

❅Harry❅

I was sitting all the way in the back of the classroom with my beats headphones on, trying to zone everyone out. As usual, in every class I've been to everyone kept brushing past me sexually, whispering dirty things in my ears, passing me dirty notes, and talking about me behind my back. Calling me a slut, a whore, a bitch, a faggot. That's basically why I have headphones on. I just can't. I can't. I can't. I need to be in another world by listening to Lana Del Rey's music. For some reason, her voice or style of music calms me down whenever I'm upset. Right now her song 'Freak' is playing. Before it was 'National Anthem'.

Her music also keeps me in a depressing mode. I actually can't listen to music that puts me in a great mood because it feels so unusual. (Now 'Dark Paradise' is playing.) Anyway, I don't think it matters anymore if something could put me in a good mood. Something or someone will just get my emotions right back where it started.

The bell for lunch rang. Perfect. Now my hair will be covered in milk again if Jonny is here today, which I'm sure he is. I'll probably be forced into a bathroom stall by Rick if his girlfriend isn't sick today...At least, this is senior year. No more crap after this year.

As I was packing my books into my bag the teacher walked over to me. No. He was crouching down to level with me while I was still in my seat. He placed his arm around my shoulders and moved my headphones down. He then whispers in my ear.

"I want you to stay for lunch. We need to talk about your grades." his husky voice and hot breathe makes me cringe every time.

He doesn't wanna talk about grades. He never wants to talk about my grades. What is there to talk about? I'm a straight A student. All he wants is for me to get on my knees and deep throat him whenever he wants. It makes me cry after because I feel so disguised with myself and it hurts...I'm always feeling disguised with myself lately. Ever since my little mistake in the ninth grade of Oaks Wood High. Everyone was thrilled and turned on by me, so everyone here tries to have sex with me. Others succeed by raping me or sexually violating me, I'm sure its, all the same, shit. There's nothing I could do because I'm scared to do anything. My parents won't listen to me because they're never home and always at work or they just don't care to hear my voice. Nobody cares about me...Everyone makes that perfectly clear...

I stayed frozen in my seat looking down at my desk. Lana Del Rey's 'Dark Paradise' was still playing cause I could hear it through my headphones with all this silence in the room. Mr. Jameson was sitting at his desk writing on papers. We both sat in silence throughout the whole song I could still hear. Then after another minute, he looks up at me and calls me over, "Come here, Harry."

I sat still for a few seconds, then I slowly got out of my seat and slowly walked over to his desk. I didn't wanna make eye contact with him, so I was looking down at my hands nervously fiddling with them. I could feel his eyes burning through me. I could already see that wicked smile above his after shave. "Look at me." I hear him say which made me quickly look up at him. He has very short brown hair that reaches an inch past his chin, he has facial hair which makes him attractive, but I would never date a person this disrespectful to me.

"Come sit on my lap, sweetie." He turns his wheely chair to his right and waits for me to sit on his lap. I slowly got up and moved over to him, sitting on his lap with both my legs sticking out towards the desk. I didn't look at him I just stared at my hands again. It's weird though how I'm short on his lap. I'm just a short person, though. I hate not being tall or leveled with others. Maybe that's how people take advantage of me...

I shivered feeling Mr. Jameson's hands wrap around my waist slowly and feeling his lips kiss down my neck. I closed my eyes not wanting to even look at my surroundings. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. I hate- "I hate only feeling the inside of your hot mouth. I wanna feel another inside." my eyes shot open as I swallowed hard. I felt one of his hands traveling down to my thigh.

My heart starts racing, I can't breathe, and tears are starting to form. He's going to rape me...I haven't been raped by someone in at least three weeks. I'm still healing from that night in the principals van. It's a long story to explain...and a painful one.

"I want these tight pants off of you," he demands roughly while ripping the button off of my expensive jeans. "Stands up," he also demands which makes the tears in my eyes form quicker. I stood up slowly from his lap and looked down at my jeans. I sighed trying to keep my tears inside of my eyes while I zip down the zipper. I then was about to slowly pull my jeans down when I heard the classroom door open.

"Hey, um. Jameson is it?" I heard a familiar voice from behind me. I could hear his footsteps coming over to the front of the desk. I looked over at the man...It's him. The new guy here.

I saw from the corners of my eyes that Mr. Jameson glanced at me then looked at the new teacher. "Yeah, that's me. Can I help you?"

"I'd appreciate it. I'm the new geometry teacher and Principal Hawk told me to come to you for questions about the textbooks and materials for the students." hearing the principals name made me cringe.

"Ah, that's right!" Mr. Jameson was getting up while remembering something. "I have some of those materials on this cart for you. I almost forgot," he walks over to a closet in the back of the room. I looked away from him at the new teacher. He was looking at me so I quickly turned away.

❅Louis❅

I frowned when I saw that the boy on the stairs has his pants unbuttoned. I looked up at his face and saw tears past the hair covering his red cheeks a bit. What the hell is happening in here?

"Here you go. Anything else?" I looked at Jameson coming over with a cart filled with books and materials.

"Uh. Yeah. Uhm. The principal talked about how you took some students from the old teacher that I replaced. He said I should take those students back."

I saw that Jameson glanced at the kid then looks back at me. "Uhm," he walks back over to his desk and sits down. "Well, this cutie over here was part of the old teachers' geometry class. Right, sweetie?" he looks at the kid.

The boy nodded with his head down. "Would you like to go to this new teacher or stay here with good old me," he pats the kid's thigh, making him flinch and back away a little. My eyebrows went up from the reaction.

Jameson chuckles. "Take him," he says carelessly. "Take three other students too. That'll fill the class up."

"Who else would you like me to take?" I asked sternly. "Uhm...Niall Horan. Dominique Woods and uh..." he shrugs. "Sarah Johnson. You'll have two extra boys and girls." I nod at him and placed my hands on the cart. "You do know that this is for my last geometry class, right?" "Mmhmm." I nod with perused lips then I glance at the kid still standing there with his head down.

"Hey," I called out softly, getting him to look at me with tears still on his face. I frowned at him. "Would you like to..help me settle all these books in my class? It could help to get use to me..before tomorrow when I see you in class."

The kid didn't reply to me he just turns around and holds the door open for me to wheel these books out. Whatever I guess. I started to wheel the cart out of the room, and before the kid closed the door he whispered, "Thank you."


	3. Outsider.

I settled all the books and other materials around the room with help from uhm...Damn, I should get his name instead of calling him 'the kid'.

"What's your name?" I asked looking at him, making him jump out of his skin. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..scare you." I guess it was too quite in here.

He shakes his head. "It's fine...My names Harry..."

"Harry?" I couldn't hear his soft voice clearly - I mean, he was on the other side of the room, but still. He nods at me and stands there hugging his arms.

"Is that all?" he asks softly.

I nod while walking over to my desk. "That'll be all." I sit down and turn on my computer monitor.

**No POV**

While Louis was on his computer, Harry stood in the same spot staring at him in unnoticeable shock. This is the only young teacher that only wanted Harry to settle some materials around the room? This wasn't normal to him. He was expecting a seductive smile, an inappropriate touch, a dirty whisper, a dirty request, but none of that came from Louis. Harry was relieved, confused, and a little hurt that this teacher doesn't want him. I mean, of course, he doesn't want to get harassed by another person, but he doesn't understand why this teacher isn't moved.

 _I guess he isn't a sicko_ , thought Harry.

Louis looked at Harry noticing that he hasn't left yet. "Is there something wr-" he looks down at Harry's unbuttoned pants and remembers his concern for the kid when he was in the other classroom. He then looks up at Harry's glossy eyes, adorable pale face, and his long hair planted on the sides of his face. "What happened to your pants?"

Harry looks down at the broken button area, then he shrugs with his head still down. Louis can tell that Harry's lying by remembering his tears, and the teacher's slight attitude.

"Come here," Louis says while gesturing his hand for Harry to come over behind his desk.

Harry stiffens at those words, but he slowly walks over behind Louis' desk. He shouldn't have let his guard down a little for this one because he's just the same, Harry thought.

He watched as Louis was grabbing a box out of his bag on his desk. It was a sewing kit?

"Let me fix that for you." Louis gestured for Harry to come closer to him. Harry didn't move. He was too scared to come any closer to his new teacher. Louis chuckles. "I'm not gonna bite. I just wanna save you from embarrassment."

The sides of Harry's lips curled a bit looking at Louis' welcoming smile, then it goes away feeling confused again. He steps close enough for him to sew another button on the jeans. He watches as his teacher gets to work on it, but then he looks at the top of Louis' head of hair. It was dark brown and messy. Harry wanted to touch it to see if it's as soft as it looks, but he stopped the urge just in case it entices the man.

After a few minutes, Louis finished adding a new button to Harry's jeans. "There," he puts everything back in his bag and sits it on the ground next to his chair.

"Thank you." Louis recognizes those words from Harry's mouth. He didn't understand them at first but forgot to ask.

"You're welcome. And you're welcome for...whatever you said thank you for in the other class." Harry nods.

"What, uh...Happened in there anyway? You were crying and..." he looks down at Harry's fixed jeans then back to his downed face. Harry shook his head not wanting to talk about it with _another_ teacher, but Louis already had an idea about what might have happened.

"It's okay. You can tell me...Did he try to hurt you?" Harry shook his head more wanting to leave the room to his next class - which is theatre.

"Can I leave please, the b-" they listen to the bell ring for next class. "That is gonna ring," he finishes. Louis stares at him for a while, then nods.

"Yeah. Go ahead."

Harry rushes out of the room, goes to the other class to quickly grab his stuff, and goes an opposite way to theatre class that no one else bothers going. He doesn't wanna face anyone or hear nasty comments.

-

**Niall**

"Damn, her ass fits well in those tight jeans," I say to my friend Liam as I'm staring at my crush, Dominique.

I hear Liam laugh beside me as we're walking to theater class. "What?" I question while looking at him.

"Nothing, it's just you act like you have so much game yet you can't even talk to the girl."

"I can talk to her!" I protested, nudging him a bit hard.

"No, you can't! The last time you tried saying hi to her you stammered like an idiot, then she called all of us football players out on being assholes to society."

I turned away from him thinking about what Dominique had said to me and my teammates the night of the game. It was harsh and uncalled for, and I didn't understand where she was coming from...Why was she angry with us? With me mostly...

_"Dude, she keeps glancing over here at me..or us." I kept gently whacking Liam's chest gear while staring at the beautiful women on the chilly bleachers._

_Liam grabs my hand and throws it away from his chest. "Then, go over there and ask what's up."_

_"No, I might...Words might not come out right."_

_"Then, stop bothering me about this mess. We have a game in a few minutes."_

_I rolled my eyes while still staring at the girl who keeps glancing over here. I was about to just walk over to her and talk when I watched as she stood up from the bleachers, walking down the steps and rushes towards me and my teammates._

_I feel thousands of butterflies in my stomach staring at her light brown skin, long black hair, dark chocolate eyes, adorable red nose from the cold and her pink glossy lips right in front of me._

_"H-Hey, uhm..." Shit, I forgot her name! How!? I talk about her twenty-four seven!_

_"Don't say_ 'hey' _to me." she snaps while giving me a death stare and glancing at the guys behind me who's starting to look over at us._

_I frowned at her not sure why she has this attitude._

_"You're all fucking pathetic assholes with no life! You guys think your awesome cause you brought down an innocent human beings spirit like that!? Well, you can_ fuck yourselves _! I hope you all lose tonight!" She walks away from us. She doesn't even go back to her seat, she just walks away from the game._

_I couldn't take my eyes off of her as she walked away. I was in some kind of shock because I couldn't really move. I don't even know what she's talking about, but I could hear the guys behind me laughing their asses off._

_That's when I turned to look at them. Liam was dying of laughter just like the others...What the fuck is going on?_

That game was two weeks ago and I still don't understand what she was talking about. I wanted to talk to Liam about it, but he'll just get annoyed like right now...Nah, I'm gonna ask.

"Uh, Li?"

"What?"

We're starting to walk up the stairs that lead to the fourth floor or art classes. "What the hell was she ranting about that night anyway?"

Liam smiles and laughs. "Oh, nothing. Just a little prank me and the guys pulled off that night of Justin's party."

I frowned at him. "What happened that night?"

"The guys and I invited Harry to the party and surprisingly he came." he starts laughing.

My stomach clenches when I heard Harry's name...My former best friend...The kid I stood by from kindergarten to freshmen year...After everyone started ganging up on the poor kid I broke the friendship collar...I didn't wanna go down with him, so I got myself on the football team and became pretty popular.

Now, Harry's just a nobody here that probably harms himself over it...I wouldn't be surprised if he killed himself. It's crazy what people are doing to him. Raping him. Sexual harassing him. Cyberbullying him. Abusing him...All because of some stupid video...

I wish I could be there for him, but...What will everyone else think if I get caught trying to be friends with him?

"Niall, are you listening?" I look at Liam staring at me as we finished walking up the stairs and stopped in the crowded hallway.

"No, sorry, say it again." I held my books to my chest while listening to him.

"We gang raped him in Justin's parents room. Their room has the biggest bed," he laughs more.

My insides felt like coming outside hearing those words. _We gang raped him._ I can't imagine how Harry must have felt or feels now...Probably the same feeling he feels every day.

"Why would-...Why would you guys do that?" I asked sympathetically.

"Cause the slut wanted it. He likes having multiple dicks at a time," he starts walking towards the theater room and I follow him.

I didn't say anything else...What could I say really?...Dominique must think I had something to do with that...

As we walk into the auditorium there's already students piled into the seats on phones, laptops and whatever else they have. Liam sees three of our teammates Justin, Erik, and Sam and walks over to them to greet them.

I heavily sigh and sit by myself thinking about the guy that probably hates me for leaving him in the dirt...and I'm thinking about my crush hating me as well.

I decide to take out my phone and go on Twitter or some kind of social media to keep my brain occupied. That's when I heard the doors open and I couldn't help but glance over to see who's walking in...It's Harry.

His head was down with hair covering his face, books wrapped in his arms with his bookbag slumped over his shoulder. He glances up and our eyes meet. Shit. Now I feel like the biggest jackass in the world staring at Harry's hurt and depressed eyes.

He looks away and walks over to sit down in the seats where no one can really see him...He always sits there and never participates in this class. His talent isn't even acting, it's drawing...He's the perfect visual artist and that's why he came to this school. He wanted to be a part of visual arts and I wanted to be a part of theater.

The only reason he's stuck in this class is because the visual arts class is filled. I felt bad for him, but he was happy to be with me in this class...Until that night...

"Niall!" I turned my head down towards the others looking at me. "The fuck are you up there for!? Come down here!" Erik shouts with laughter from everyone else.

I look over at the area that Harry hid into and sighed. I stood up and slowly walked over to the other area of seats. I saw him sitting in a position where his knees are up to his chest, sketchbook on his lap and a pencil gently gliding along the paper.

I stood there staring at him while hearing my name get called. I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out once he looks at me. My mouth felt dry and I felt my body tense up. I don't know what to do. Why'd I even come over here?

He slowly looks away from me and stares down into space, not even drawing anymore. I turn my head towards the voices calling my name. "Calm the fuck down, I'm coming!" I then looked at Harry again wanting to a least say hi to the kid.

"B-Bye, Haz." I quickly walked away from him, down steps to where the others were sitting.

"Took you so damn long?" Erik questions, always leaving out the first proper word. _What_ took you so long? But, I chuckle at his bad grammar and sat down in between him and Liam.

"Just having some alone thinking time, is'all."

"Whatever." he says and turns to Sam next to him and starts talking about practice we have after school.

**Louis**

I walked into the auditorium seeing that my awaiting students are already seated down by the stage. I'm quite surprised since every other student I had has been either late or scattered around the room not paying me any mind. Hopefully, these students are ready to learn - which I'm sure they are considering this is their art class they choose to be in.

I walked down some stairs passing rows of seats until I got to four steps onto the stage. Honestly, this auditorium is much more beautiful than the one at the academy in England. There's about over a thousand seats in here with three sections, all the seats are crimson red with soft fabric, and perfect small lit lighting for the audience to see a bit well.

"Hello, everyone." I look at the students seated in a few front rows.

The class greets me kindly which made me cheerful inside. I heard hey's, hi's, what's ups and everything in between with teens these days.

"Well - my name is Louis Tomlinson, but of course, you'll have to call me Mr. Tomlinson. Bef-"

"Welcome to Oaks Wood High, Mr. Tomo!" a male student shouts while cupping his hands around his mouth for an echo sound.

Everyone around him was laughing at him and clapping a bit for me. I couldn't help but let out a laugh myself by the nickname he gave me.

"I guess..I could make Mr. Tomo an exception. But, before we get started with anything I wanna get to know my senior theater students who I may not see again next year."

Some of the kids cheer about their last year and others sound sad that they have to leave memories behind.

"After we get to know one another, then I'd love to know what you're learning so far or what project the other teacher had assigned to you before he or she left." I look down at my clipboard of students' names. "I have twenty students in this class. Perfect amount. So, just say here or whatever when I call your name."

I cleared my throat. "Amanda."

"Here, tight pants!" My eyebrow goes up as I look away from my clipboard to where that voice came from. The girl winks at me with a giggle.

I look down at my black jeans that are pretty tight. I would get all flustered if I had feelings for females. It would be very inappropriate if I blushed over a male student calling out how big my ass is in this jeans, but it happens frequently when I'm at gay clubs. So, I just chuckled and looked back at my clipboard. "Anyway. Uh, Drake?"

"Is in the _house_." the class chuckles and laughs.

I smirk while continuing. "Erik." I chuckled out his name.

"Virgina's."

My eyes widen a bit as I look up at the guy that gave me the Tomo nickname. Everyone is starting to laugh up a storm again.

"Erik, shut up." a blonde male laughs out while hitting his probable friend.

I shook my head while looking back down at my clipboard. "Come on, guys. Keep it appropriate...Niall?"

"Here."

" _Thank_ you." everyone chuckles at me, then I call out fourteen more students until I had just two more left. "Liam?"

"Always here."

"And Harry." the students burst into laughter, but it didn't sound like the laughter before. It wasn't playful it sounded kind of...mocking I should say, but I decided not to pay it any mind.

_...Wait a minute._

I frowned down at the name, _Harry Styles_...Is this the Harry that helped me put the geometry materials away? The Harry that's going to be in my geometry class? The Harry who I sewed on a button to his pants?...Well, this is great.

I'd love to see his acting skills considering he seems so shy the first time I saw him...but where is he now? I look up at the still laughing and chatting class.

"Harry?" I call out again while looking around the filled in seats.

"Dude, he's hiding. He doesn't want people to see his.." he starts chuckling while talking. "cum stained face." Erik starts dying of laughter with his friends except for the blonde next to him.

 _Did he just say_ cum stained _face?_

My frown hasn't gone away yet as I stare at this hysterical class with my arms now crossing. "What did you say?" I now look at Erik. "You said he's hiding? Where?" I look around a little.

"He's up there drawing." the blonde male calls out while pointing up to the second row of seats above us to my left.

I look up there as he pointed and obviously can't see him from here. I start to walk off the stage while listening to the students make comments.

"Oh, no, don't get him."

"He's not going to do anything."

"He's probably drawing dicks."

"You're wasting your time."

"Be careful, Tomo! He might touch you!" everyone starts to laugh.

I frown and look back at them. "What are you guys talking about? Just sit there and be patient." I turn back around and continue to walk up a few stairs to the second row, then I walk over to the right side where the side seats are.

The seats I see are kinda hidden behind some small wall. I see Harry at the very end rapidly moving a pencil around in some big black book. I walk further towards him starting to notice a white line under his hair - which is most likely earphones. I pull down the crimson seat next to him and sit down.

I gently tap his shoulder making him jump and drop his hardcover book on the floor. He shakily moves the earphones out of his eyes and shyly looks at me then away quickly.

I smirk at him and decide to pick up his book off the floor. "Hey, mate." I hand the book to him.

"...H-Hi," he looks at the book in my hand then takes it. "...Thanks." his voice is low - not in a deep voice way, but in a way that he's just really quite. His voice is a little high like he's twelve, but a mixture of his real age which sounds pretty normal...I think it sounds like a familiar female's voice, but it really suits him, though.

"I saw your name on my attendance sheet. I'm actually glad that you're my student for my _second_ class."

I watch him turn his head a bit looking at my lap instead of making eye contact with me. "...You're also an acting teacher?"

"Yeah." I sighed. "I love teaching mathematics and theater. But, I have a question for you." I open my mouth up again to continue talking, but I could have sworn I heard Harry whimper. It was..kinda cute...No, it was really cute.

"How come you're up here and not down there with everyone else?" I lean forward placing my elbows on my legs to see his face better.

Through his hair I saw him close his eyes and sigh in what sounded like relief, then he fixes his hair a bit out of his face.

"Um...No one down there is my friend," he's speaking so softly it's adorable. Even his lips look so soft...and his skin. And his emerald green eyes. And his long hair with some curls -

"Yo, Tomo!" both Harry and I got startled by that loud and obnoxious shout by - not a surprise - Erik. "We're dyin' of impatience down here!"

I sigh ignoring him trying to remember what I was going to say. _Too busy daydreaming about Harry's face and hair._ "Uh, why don't you make friends?" I sit up and fold my hands together.

There's silence for about a minute. "I'd really love it if you joined that class. I wanna see -"

"I don't like theater. It's not my art." I notice him clutching the book to his chest more.

"...You're a drawer?" I gesture to the black book.

His eyes look at me then looks away quickly down at his book. "...Y-Yeah...There's no room for me...So, I'm here." the way his voice sounds isn't so much like whispering. It's like he's breathing out his words in some way like he's nervous about something. I can even see his body shivering a little.

I look away and think for a while. I can understand that he might be antisocial or has personal anxiety, but I want him to overcome those negative dilemmas and feel comfortable in my class.

I let out a sigh while standing up, hands stuffing inside my pockets and looking down at the kid. "Come on. There's an empty seat in the very first row. You have to understand that I won't be able to give you a good grade if you -"

"Please, sir." His voice cracks unexpectedly and I can easily see tears filling up his eyes. "Please, don't make me go down there. Whatever the class is doing I'll just do it only in front of you alone." He closes his eyes making tears come out quickly.

"Okay okay, stop - don't cry." I look over the wall to see what the other kids are doing. Looks like they're getting on stage about to do something.

I turn my head back to Harry, seeing that his knees were pulled to his chest with his arms wrapped around them. I decide to step closer and crouch down in front of him, both of our eyes instantly lock with one another.

All I saw was pure innocent, sparkles - from the tears, and depression in his eyes. I can see someone who's lost and suffers from loneliness. Its what I saw in myself while looking in the mirror when I was in high school.

I've been through this stage I can easily see in Harry, so I wanna help him out. I know what it's like to not have anyone to talk to, and I hope he'd consider letting me be the shoulder he could cry on...If he needs one.

I slowly wipe his tears away with my handkerchief I keep in my back pocket. (Something my father taught me) Our eye contact hasn't broken away quite yet, and he looks as if he's staring in a whole other world.

As I finish gently wiping his face I was about to bring my hand down when he softly grabs my wrist. Feeling his touch made my skin crawl and I could tell he's going through the same because his hand is very shaky...It wasn't a bad..thing.

I quickly let go and he breaks our eye contact by moving his down somewhere. I blink a little and caught myself gazing at his lips now. They were perfectly shaped for kissing and magenta that's a little parted. Feeling his quite breath hitting me I realized how close we were, but I didn't move and neither did he...

I open my mouth trying to find words to speak, but now his sweet berry smelling breath is throwing me off. I'm getting warm - _what the hell is wrong with me!? This is my student!_

I clear my throat and look back at his eyes even though he isn't looking at me. "I'm sorry, uhm...Lets make a deal. Whatever assignment I give to the class to either write or act out, I'll give you the same thing to present only in front of me after school. Sounds good?"

He looks into my eyes and we lock again. His eyes are still wet and glossy making the emerald green shine beautifully - shit, stop, Louis! Don't talk about a miner like this!...He's smirking at me...I just watched his lips curl up a little bit, making him look so cute.

"Are you able to see me after school?" I try to concentrate on the main topic and not this boys' beauty.

Shit, his small smirk is gone and he bit down on his lower lip. "I don't know...After school I like to go down into the art room unattended."

I nod a bit glancing at his lips then back up to his eyes. "Well, you could bring the art stuff you're using into my office..if it's big enough." I chuckle a bit. "I haven't seen my new office yet."

"The theater office? Yeah, um...it's a big enough space for plenty...it fits a king sized couch." His voice starts to crack mentioning the couch and he gulped while moving his eyes away from mine. "I've..b-been in there many times." He clears his throat from all the shakiness.

I can feel concern wash through my eyes wondering what's going on in his mind. "Harold, what's wrong?" I've noticed that our voices are still hushed.

His eyes lock with mine once again, that small smirk appearing in his face. "Did you just call me Harold?" I can see a little red slowly forming on his cheeks.

I chuckle at the fact that I _did_ call the kid Harold, and him blushing makes him twice as adorable.

"Yeah, I uh..thought of the name you go by and then thought of the real name and..said Harold. Sorry."

"No, it's okay. I like the way you say my real name with your accent...and I'm fine...at least now I am."

He looks away from me with the smirk still plastered on his lips. Shit, now I'm blushing. I could feel the heat rush to my cheeks...he says he likes my accent. I've never heard that from anyone before.

It's silent between us for a bit until we look back into each other's eyes. "...So...it's a deal?"

"What's a deal?...Oh. Yeah, sure. I'll stay after school tomorrow. Today I can't...I wanna be alone today. I had a rough weekend." I saw it again. No more smirking with depressed eyes. "Sorry, I really don't wanna tell you why I -"

"It's alright, Harold. You could talk with me about anything. When you're comfortable of course. I don't wanna force you to do anything you don't wanna do."

"...R-Really?" He started to tear up again, eyes filling with warm liquid.

I frowned a bit at him. "Yes. I wouldn't force you. That's unnecessary. Just like I'm not forcing you to be down there with others. If you're uncomfortable being around others then I'll help out as much as I can."

Tears started falling out of his eyes again. What the hell is the matter? "Harold, what are you crying for?"

"You wouldn't force me to do.. _anything?"_

I grab my handkerchief again and wipe his face. "I already said no - what's the matter?"

He didn't answer me. We just stared at one other - locking eyes again...I wanted him to grab my wrist again, but doesn't.

"Uhm...Mr. Tomlinson?" I heard a husky sounding voice a few feet away from us.

I broke my eye contact with Harry and looked at my other student. It was the blonde kid (damn, I gotta remember his name). He was standing there awkwardly, staring at us.

"We've started doing improv for _The Crucible_ , but we need an instructor to..grade us."

"Yes, of course!" I replied quickly while standing up. My knees made popping sounds from the painful crouching position. I was too busy dazing in Harry that I didn't realize how much pain my legs were in.

I walk past ten seats and stop by the dirty blonde student. I turn to look back at Harry. He was in the same position still staring at where I was. "See you at school tomorrow, Harold..since you know..it's the last period."

Harry nods a bit, then slowly buries his face in his knees. Damn, he makes me wanna hug him tight and never let go.

I turn around and start to walk down some stairs, passing rows of seats.

**Niall**

I stare at my old best friend for a few seconds wondering what the hell was just going between him and Mr. Tomlinson.

"...Maybe you should just move away and start fresh instead of sitting here being miserable...At first it wasn't your fault, but staying here letting it happen is no different than you asking for it." I scoff and walk away leaving him to probably weep.


	4. Wake Up Call (1/2)

❅ **Harry** ❅

I'm so glad the school day is over. Now I could go home, sleep or eat..or read abusive messages or take a shower and most likely bleed there...or I could think about...Mr. Tomlinson.

He's so nice to me and has the _dreamiest_ ocean blue eyes. It's shocking really. The fact that he hasn't hit on me and the fact that he won't...force things on me...Hearing him say those words didn't make me think about him not wanting to force theater projects on me. I thought about him not wanting to force himself on me.

I expected him to make some kind of pass at me, but instead he offered his kindness. I won't lie he's an attractive man that makes me so nervous. Not in a way where I'm paranoid, but in a way where I wanted to..kiss him. Which is sad considering he's my freaking teacher probably in his thirties.

Mr. Tomlinson has such a hot and cute British accent. The way he said my birth name made _me_ wanna touch him so he could say it again. I'm guessing though that he's not from here or maybe he is he's just from another state. Either way, he doesn't know about my "little" mistake that turned into something wild. The situation actually turned me gay and I'm sure he isn't gay and has a wife...

But that doesn't seem to stop any other man or boy from touching me. I've noticed that not one gay guy has raped or sexual harassed me. So what the hell are they doing it for? To humiliate me? Make me feel slutty? Worthless? What?

...I wonder if Mr. Tomlinson will start wanting some when he does find out eventually about that video...God, I shouldn't have gone to that senior party...Liam was right what he whispered to me on Saturday, that night I got gang-raped by him and his two friends...Niall's friends.... _move away and start fresh...Staying here and letting it keep happening is no different than asking for it..._ This is completely all my fault. Thanks, Ni for lecturing me on that.

Maybe I _should_ move away. Then, I wouldn't get raped again by _Niall's_ friends. Niall's _best_ friends...You know, that rape didn't really bother me much since they're all pretty small. I was planning on seeing a doctor lately for...you know STD check ups, but I'm kinda scared.

...Sometimes I catch myself thinking about the rapes a lot as if they're a normal routine for me. Then there're times where I sit in my room and make myself forget all the pain of the day by causing new pain.

Pain that I'm starting to enjoy. Opening my skin. Bruising my face. An empty stomach. Slammed hand...anything that'll take my mind off of the bad crap. But of course, I'll cover up my face with my mother's makeup even though no one in my mansion pays attention to me. That's also why I wanna find a therapist to help with my emotional problems...I'm scared I might take it to another level and end up killing myself...

I have no one anymore. No one cares for me. I have no shoulder to cry on. I have no one to tell all my deepest problems and surface problems to. I have.. _nothing._ Nothing but depression and tears.

My best friend left me, my parents are too rich and busy, the maids can't speak English and just do chores all day, the adults at school rape me, students at school want nothing to do with me unless it's to get off, and the cops...they didn't wanna help me. Or at least, this one guy that answered the phone didn't when I reported it to him. He saw the video and asked if I could suck his..thing, then he'll help. Of course I just hung up and never asked for help since.

...I just don't get it...What about that video makes everyone want to do this to me? I mean, I don't even remember what happened - even when I saw the video. It was all a blur to me so obviously it's not _my_ fault!

❅

I start walking down the street away from the school to get to my expensive black car, that I make sure no one at school sees. No one knows that I'm rich and comes from a billionaire family. I just don't want people to know. Niall doesn't even know and we were close kindergarten friends.

I defiantly won't say anything about it now because it'll make the harassment worse. People will try and rob me, force me into giving them cash. Anything harmful like that...Speaking of money, there are some people who do pay me after "sex".

I think they do it so I won't cry rape, but...I don't know, this is all just too much to handle. One time this woman paid me fifty dollars for eating her worn out..private.

This guy paid me five bucks for sucking his private - Well, he thrusted and I just sat there gagging - saying, "this is what you're worth, slut." He stuck a one dollar bill to my cum stained face.

No, he didn't do it so I wouldn't cry rape - he did it to show me how much I'm worth. His name is Erik and he was one of the ones that gang raped me with Liam and...Justin, I think is his name was. Then there was a man that screwed me hard on his desk when I was sixteen in sophomore year. (I think the class was Global Studies). He was thrusting pretty hard and I think I was sobbing the whole time. He kept kissing my back and neck for some reason...I guess to make me like it, but there wasn't anything to like.

I felt like a whore when he gave me one fifty for it. I cried all the way home that day and wished I had the guts to tell someone. But, that wasn't the first time it was just my first _hard_ time...Not unconscious anyway - I remember limping my way home while I bled in my underwear. Luckily I got home to my room before the blood reached to stain my pants.

Then, there was this girl that had her boyfriend tie me to her bed and...A lot happened. Still to this day I will never understand that situation, but I do see that it was my fault for even letting them lead me into their home.

Principal Hawk was the worst this senior year so far. At some Halloween party (I only went because my parents didn't want me in the mansion) Principal Hawk gave me a drink with something in it that made me so dizzy. He forced me into his car and..did things that I never wanna think and talk about. It was too harsh I almost...That was the night I almost committed suicide because of how worthless and disgusted I felt. But one of my maids caught me tying a rope to the chandelier in my room and got me to calm down.

I remember that she held me in her arms and whispered a prayer in French...The only moment in my life I felt like I had some type of mother figure. She has no idea why I tried killing myself and she never asked, but she still keeps a good eye on me. Once I heard her cursing at my parents under her breath which made me giggle. (Some of her English is good, but she can't hold a conversation with any of us).

Then, after I got gang raped the previous weekend I went home and grabbed a bottle of pills and sat on my bed. I just stared at them with tears pouring down my face. I closed my eyes, took deep breaths and told myself that this summer it will all be over, and I slept the rest of the night off.

I start to unlock my door when I hear heels clicking on the sidewalk coming towards me.

"Hey, Harry, right?"

I turn around to face an unfamiliar yet beautiful girl. She had light brown skin probably a shade darker than caramel, long straight black hair with crimson ends, dark brown eyes with long black lashes, with crimson lipstick. If I didn't become gay I'd most likely date her.

"Um, yeah..." I replied with a shy voice, I always talk to others with a voice that's not mine. I hate it.

She heavily sighs and sticks her hand out, handing me some folded paper. "Here's my number...I want you to know that there are _normal_ people in this fucked up school, and I'm one of them. Look..if you need someone to talk to or to be friends with and not be so damn lonely...I'm your girl." she smirks at me. "I'm very fun to chill with. If you're lucky I'll show you, my _normal_ friends."

My eyes move from her to the folded paper in her hand. I just stare at it not grabbing it.

"This is no raping scam. You can trust me...All you gotta do is take it and add the number to your contacts."

I look back at the girl who's smiling at me now. I sigh and slowly reach out for the paper and taking it into my hand. I nod at her while turning back around to my car.

"The names Dominique by the way," she speaks in a gentle and attractive voice. "I really wanna be your friend, even though I'm kinda late...It's your last year of hell. No need to keep living in it. I can help you escape until the summer begins."

I stood there for a second then turned around to maybe say 'thank you', but she was already starting to walk away. "Nice car by the way," she turns her head while walking and gives me a bright smile.

...Did I just make a friend?

❅

When I finally got to my mansion a few miles away from the school I just headed off to my room without greeting house workers. I pulled out my phone and unfolded the paper to text the girl - whose name I forgot already - to let her know that I might call her later since I wanna take a nap right now.

To be honest, I _would_ like to talk to her and become friends because it's something I need right now...But, then again I'm always getting caught up in someone's kindness then I get raped or sexually harassed. What if she's just like the others, being all nice and then throws it all back in my face.

...What if that's what Mr. Tomlinson is doing. Being all kind to me, telling me that I could work on my art in his office while I catch up on theater work. Bull crap. He wants to get me alone in that office to rip my clothes off and tear me into two...Or he could gentle.

...Dang it, if I didn't think he was so attractive I wouldn't love that crazy thought so much...I can already see him hovering over me, tearing my button shirt open, ripping the button and zipper off my pants, pulling them down and sits me up on his desk - stop! Stop! Holy..crap, stop!

I shake my head and sit down at the end of my bed. I erase Mr. Tomlinson from my mind and I look down at the girls number. I pull out my phone and open up my contacts (with only family members and Niall's number...maybe his old number. I don't know if he changed it)


	5. Wake Up Call (2/2)

I tapped 'Add' and tapped in her number, and tapped in the name ' _Redx'._ **(On Wattpad the x is a kiss emoji)**

She had on some really nice lipstick. Better than my moms. I know this because I've tried on my mother's lipstick...only because one time I was getting raped a guy smeared his girlfriend's red lipstick on my mouth and complimented me on it.

After crying that night, I decided to see for myself how beautiful I look, and tried on her lipstick...then I tried on her mascara...then her eye liner...then eye shadow...then (it already was all in my face, I just made it more...prettier)

I bit down on my lip looking at myself in the mirror that night. I smirked at myself...at a new self...That was probably last September when I was in junior year.

 **Redx**  
_Hey...It's me Harry...we can talk later. I'm sleepy...What's your name by the way?_

I waited for her to text back, but it's been a minute and I'm really sleepy. So, I stand up leaving my phone on the bed and remove the clips on my above head bed frame to drop down dark purple sheets. I don't like to sleep in an open bed. I like sheets to surround me. My bed is pretty cool, though, it's like one of those bed chambers from back in the sixteenth century.

I strip down out of all my clothes - including my underwear and climb into bed. I pick my phone up from the foot of the bed and sit it on top of my headboard. I look around a bit like I always do admiring the purple around me. Then, I get under my thick dark purple blanket and rest my head on the dark purple fluffy pillows.

I was almost drifting to sleep when I heard my phone go off. She must have texted back. So, I sit up and grab my phone looking at the lock screen.

 **Redx**  
_It's Dominique and it doesn't_ _matter_ _when you wanna talk. I can wait until you're ready..or trust me._ ** (Face kiss emoji) **

**Unknown:**  
_Is this the slut? I need a phone call babe. Need to get my mind off shit. You're good at your job right?_ **(emoji)**

I heavily sigh when unlocking my phone and going into the **Unknown** message. I block the person, then go into Dominique's message.

 **Redx**  
...Thanks... **(smile emoji)**

I edit out the **Redx** to be Dominique instead, but then I changed it back because the nickname is cute...I could call her Red.

I lock my phone and set it back where it was, then I go back to laying on my comfy pillow to sleep.

_I heard the bell ring ending theater and school. I opened up my backpack to place my sketch book and pencil inside. After closing it up, I stand and fling the left strap on my shoulder, waiting for everyone to file out of the auditorium._

_I sighed in relief when all I heard was silence. I started walking out of the area of the left sided seats behind some wall, then I see Mr. Tomlinson walking up the steps passing rows of seats to me._

_He smiles at me brightly showing beautiful white teeth, which made me focus on his pink lips. They were kind of thin and so kissable...I bet his tongue is tender and sweet just like the way he stares into my eyes with his sparkling new deep ocean blue ones._

_"You ready, Harold?" He was standing real close to me, I could feel his cool minty breath hit my nose._

_I nodded at him. "Yeah. I already put the art supplies I use inside." I turn around hearing him say "Mmhmm." I start to walk towards the heavy French exit doors. I held a door for Mr. Tomlinson with my shy smile._

_I didn't step far from the doors when the man walked in front of me while grabbing my left hand. I don't know why_ he's _showing_ me _where to go to get to the office since I've been there before, but the warm touch of his skin on mine made the nerves in my body dance._

_I was getting really nervous and my heart won't stop beating so hard. As much as I want this man to touch me, he's still a teacher and it's very inappropriate for him to hold my hand while bringing me to his office...Is he going to hurt me? The office was just down the hall from the auditorium - only will take maybe three minutes depending what pace you move. As we reached the door he let go of_ _my_ _hand to unlock it. I could tell when he finished unlocking the door, by the way, he smiles at me._

_"Come on in, Harold." He opens the door and steps in._

_My eyes widen looking around at the dark room with sweet smelling red candle light, red rose petals all over the place, no desk, no couch except a king size crimson bed with_ white _rose petals all over it._

_I turn around to look outside the door and we're not even in the school anymore. I'm staring at a walkway to get to motel door to door. It's pitch black outside with some lamp lights. I turn around to look at Mr. Tomlinson out of his clothes except his black boxers._

_My cheeks started burning and I instantly felt the outside cool breeze. I looked down at myself and saw I was in a black unbuttoned shirt showing off my clean smooth stomach and chest. I had no pants or shoes on anymore, just the black panties someone got me before Christmas break._

_Which is weird since I found the_ _"gift"_ _in my locker and_ never _took them out. I shouldn't really question how I got these on when everything else had a drastic change._

 _I slowly shut the door and gently placed myself against it with hands still behind my back. My hair was down in my face covering it shyly as I sta_ _red_ _down Mr. Tomlinson's body. He had an amazing six pack with worded tattoo on his chest 'It Is What It Is'. Then I noticed his buff arms (not_ too _buff) with silly tattoos all over them. I didn't know a teacher could have so many._

_Then, my eyes trailed down to his V line which made my small self-twitch in excitement. I heard that if a guy has a lot of sex - then a V line appears. But, seeing his V makes me think of how his..member looks._

_Now my eyes are on Mr. Tomlinson's noticeable erection almost ripping through his boxers._

_"Love?"_

_I looked up at his face with wide - probably innocent eyes._

_"It's okay. Don't be shy. Come to me." He gives me an assuming smile._

_I shyly smirk at him and slowly peel myself from the cold door. I look down at the floor with my hand close to my chest as I walk over to my teacher. When I got close enough he places his hands on my waist making my spine crawl._

_"Jump, love," He speaks quietly with his beautiful British accent._

_"W-What?" I frowned a little not understanding his demand._

_He tightens his grip on my waist and lifts me up on the short dresser that was behind him, slamming me against the wall._

_I let out a whimper as I felt that pain. He leans in and kisses my cheek. "I'm sorry, babe. Hope I didn't hurt you."_

_"N-No. I'm fine." I licked my bottom lip and leaned into kiss his tender lips._

_I could feel my whole world coming back together with just one little connection with this man. Now more connections as he cups my face and presses his body against mine. I wrap my legs around his waist letting him push his tongue past my lips. I honestly don't care what he does to me right now. This is the_ best _dream I've ever had in months. I don't ever want to wake up._

_I pull away from the kiss and start to kiss and suck on his beautiful pale soft neck. My stomach flutters listening to him moan in my ear a bit. He sounds so hot it makes me wanna take control._

_"I'm so glad I moved to America and found you, Harold." he hushed in my ear sending shivers down my spine._

_"You probably won't believe me, but I've been saving myself for the right guy."_

_I let go of his neck and giggled. "That's adorable." I whispered in his ear then went back to marking what's now mine. I feel Louis' hand slide down to my waist and he grips it tight._

_"I've always told myself to wait for a virgin like myself so that we both have only felt one another's love and no one else's."_

_I slowly stop sucking on Mr. Tomlinson's neck feeling my whole world crash back down in flames. I then slowly pull away about to look in his eyes when he kisses me softly, placing his right hand back on my cheek. This time, I don't kiss back._

_He pulls back and our lapis lazuli and emerald eyes lock together. "What's wrong, love?" he keeps his hand on my cheek._

_"Um..." No, just shut up, Harry let him think you're a virgin. Take his virginity and just shut - "I'm not a virgin." Crap!_

_I quickly broke eye contact with him feeling stupid and disgusted with myself. He must have thought that because I'm shy and quiet that I wasn't experienced...Well, technically I'm not experienced...Am I even though it was all forced?_

_I felt his hand remove from my face and his waist away from my legs. He was backing away from me..._

_"Oh, wow. So, I guess it's all true," he picks up his pants that are near the bed._

_"W-What's true?" I watch him put his pants on and start to chuckle._

_"That you're a whore."_

_My heart stopped and shattered all over the inside of me hearing_ him _say those words. I open my mouth to protest, but he cut me off. (I'm sure I wouldn't be able to say anything anyway)._

_"When I saw that video I didn't wanna believe it was you..because I have so many feelings for you." he starts putting on his pants and then grabs his shirt off._

_I slowly got off the dresser and walked over to stand in front of him. I cupped his face and stared into his stunning lapiz lazuli eyes...I had no idea eyes could be this color until I saw his. They're so beautiful. He's beautiful._

_"...I have feelings for you too. No one has ever treated me like you have..."_

_"What - not treating you like the whore you are. Well, how the hell can you expect others to treat you dif -"_

_"Mister...I'm not what you think I am."_

_"Oh, you're right. I thought you were a pure virgin and you're not. I don't know." he shrugs while moving my hands from his face. "I guess since I've never heard you swear before or the fact that you're so damn shy I just thought you weren't the kind that makes the rounds around the school. Or maybe even other places - I don't know your game."_

_I frown at his babbling. It was really cute and still hurtful at the same time. "Is Erik the one giving you this information? Louis, listen - the sex wasn't con -"_

_"Wait, no no. You will not call me by my first name. It's Mr. Tomlinson got it -" he cuts himself off while staring into my eyes. A smirk crept on his face. "You know what...You want me to touch you, huh? Why else would you be in here?"_

_"I don't just want to be touched by you. I want us to -...I wanna be in a relationship with you. Maybe a secret one until I graduate and then we can be public."_

_"mmhmm, I'm sure all you want is a relationship."_

_"Mister, I'm not -" I cut off by him pushing me on the bed. I was caught by surprise while staring up at him. "Mis -"_

_"Stop talking. If this is what you want, Harold, then I'll just give it to you," he takes his pants back off including his boxers, revealing a pretty big member. (I'm positive it can't be this big, that it's just my dirty imagination)_

_I wanted to protest, but couldn't take my eyes off his beauty. It was quite thick and long enough to pleasure me. It wasn't limp at all, it was sticking up basically ready for me. Wow. Never in my life have I ever wanted sex from anyone. This is the moment I truly wish I were a virgin. Not so Mr. Tomlinson's happy, but so he's the first to take my innocence and love me all night. I mean there has to be a reason why I feel this way for the man...He must be the one._

_"Mister, please understand that sex isn't all I want from you. I want -...I want love."_

_"I could have sworn I said to stop talking," he stands on his knees on the bed and roughly turns me on my stomach. "Fuck, I love the way you look in these black panties."_

_I let out a whimper feeling him rip the undergarmets off of me. "Mister, can we please talk before we do th -"_

_"Damn it, Harold! I don't want to talk! I just wanna fuck you." My stomach flutters hearing those words - not in a nervous way, but in a way that excites me._

_I love the way he calls me a whore. I loved the way he ripped the panties off me, and I love how his tip is teasing me by moving around between my cheeks._

_I want him and don't want him to do this at the same time, but of course the 'want' wins the battle. I bit down on my lip. "I'm a filthy..you know what - and I don't deserve you, mister." I spoke - surprisingly - seductively and innocently._

_"Mm, what the fuck is a 'you know what'?" I gasp feeling him push himself inside of me with no warning._

_I let out a moan and bit down on a pillow I grabbed. "I-I don't wanna say anything bad." I yelped when he starts to thrust in and out hard._

_"Say it, sweetie." he lays on my back and thrusts even harder._

_"Ah, f - mmm." I bit harder on the pillow not wanting to swear or call myself the W word. I hate saying bad things - it makes me feel bad._

_"Just say it. Admit it, baby." he whispers sweetly in my ear._

_Just for him I was about to call myself the W word when I heard a phone ringing...It sounds like my phone._

My eyes flew open and I take in a deep breath as I woke up. I still kept hearing a phone ring above me, so I sat up in my bed and grabbed it off the headboard.

**Incoming Call...**

**Zayn**

Why is my cousin calling me?

 


	6. Bad Favor (1/2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE PREVIOUS CHAPTER IS EDITED. GO BACK AND READ THE FULL THING. (This message isn't for new comers, but for the old readers)

I answer the phone and place it to my ear. "Zayn?"

 _"Hey,_ _Haz_ _. Open the door for me before the stupid alarm goes off."_

I frown and look around at the purple sheets hanging up. It's dark in here which mean it's dark outside...That dream didn't feel like hours passed by - it felt like ten minutes.

_"Hello, Harry? Answer the door for me."_

"...Why?"

 _"I just told you why!? Your stupid_ _al_ _-"_

"No, I mean why are you here? My parents don't like you and they made that clear on Thanksgiving."

I could hear him heavily sigh impatiently. _"_ _Haz_ _, it's fucking freezing out here - please open the door."_

I roll my eyes while hanging up. I move the purple cloth that's hanging to get out of bed. I grab my boxers and quickly put them on before leaving my room, rushing down the stairs all the way to the front door to open. I stand behind the opening door so I don't feel all the cool breeze on my sensitive skin.

Once I saw he walked in quickly, rubbing his hands together to try and warm them I shut the door. I look up at him and he turns to look at me.

"What do you want?" I hug my body to cover some skin from my cousin. (I don't know why - he's never touched me before)

"I need you to do me a favor, then we could have some fun. Put some clean clothes on," he smirks at me...and I smirk back.

I love this rare side of Zayn; the generous side that somewhat helps with my depression. He knows exactly what I go through since he graduated last year. Even though he knows about my constant hell, he treats me like garbage and hurts me mentally and physically.

I'm not saying he brutally beats me or anything like that, he just punches my arm really hard, trips me, pulling chairs out from me, and other childish things. The mental - basically verbal abuse is far worse than the physical. Hearing the things he says to me at times makes me feel he's not family and just one of the enemies at school.

...I don't even wanna think about what he says about me...hopefully, he doesn't become bipolar tonight. I always wonder if he does have bipolar disorder, but I've never asked anyone.

I started to head back upstairs to get new clothes on from my walk in closet. It's purple and lavender inside with regular lighting around for me to see. (It's obvious by now that one of my favorite colors are shades of purple)

The walls in here are pretty hard and smooth with a hard and polished black flooring. There are some lights on the walls and above me, but I only turned on the small lights on the walls. Only because it's not as bright as the overhead lights are.

The walls are what's lavender and everything else is what's purple, such as the tons of shelves, racks, and other 3D designings.

On both sides of the walls, I have shelves and racks mixed together. Not just shelves on a left and racks on a right. I honestly didn't care where things were, just as long as I have a place for all this stuff. (Not saying nothings neat in my closet, I'm just saying I don't care where the shelves and racks go).

It's not going to take me long to find something to wear since I'm not vain about my appearance - even though all the clothes my family buys me are top dollar.

I grab a plaid buttoned shirt with blue and black linen fabric and put it over my arms, buttoning it up to the top; then, of course, two buttons become stubborn and break apart from its captor. I put on tight dark skinny jeans that look blue and black with no shoes on just yet.

I walk to the way back of my closet where I keep all my shoes that I barely wear. I seriously have only worn five pairs out of literally two hundred. There's a door frame I walk through to get inside a small square room with the same lavender walls and purple shelves of nothing but footwear.

I was about to grab my dark usual Chesea boots when I spotted pairs of high tops my ex-best friend owned and bought for me to keep...Niall...I remember all the special occasions where he bought me the shoes.

The red shiny ones he got me for Christmas, (my fav) the purple pair was for my birthday, one blue pair I think was random, one white pair was for Easter and...Wait a minute - he only bought me four pairs - where'd these black ones come from?

I got on my knees to get a better look at them and I could see a white note on it. I slowly picked it up unaware of who this is from, but my heart is skipping beats and my stomach is twisting as I unfold the thick paper.

Um...I asked your parents to give you these when they were apart of that stupid community thing in school... - Nialler

...Oh my God...Last year there was a Community Service thing going on and, of course, my rich parents joined to get publicity. (I'm sure they didn't give a crap about the service.) I remember telling them to not include me in anything they do in public or on camera cause I didn't want anyone to know about my silver spoons. They didn't care eight-way, so they ignored me the whole time they were in my school.

I can't believe I didn't notice these in here until now. I can't believe my parents didn't tell me they out them in here or the maids put them in here...Why would Niall give these to me? We've barely spoken since the start of freshman year...

I reached the end of the staircase wearing the black high tops. I could see Zayn going through my father's bar in the living room, either looking for something to drink or spitting in the bottles.

I walk myself over to the big front door and stare at Zayn until he's ready to go. By the time he turns around ready to go my legs were hurting.

"Why the hell are you so quite?" He's frowning at me while walking over to the door.

"I didn't want to disturb you," I reply shyly. Realizing that, I'm leaning against the door with my arms crossed.

Zayn wasn't replying back to me, he was just looking up and down my body making me uncomfortable. I look away from him while rolling my eyes. "Please, don't do that. I'm gonna start wearing baggy pants." I mumble while getting off the door and opening it.

"You loom great with skinny jeans though - which is great for the favor I need you to do for me." I walk out of the door as he talks and follows.

"What am I doing? Where are we going?" I hear him close the door as he replies.

He walks past me as well. "I'll let you know once we're there."

I heavily sigh and follow him yards away from my mansion to the open gates to his car. That's when my phone buzzes.

"Hurry up, Haz," Zayn calls out while getting in the drivers seat.

 **Pretty** **sure** **you** **know** **who** **it** **is** **.** **Hope** **you** **had** **a** **good** **sleep** **.**

I caught myself smirking at the text remembering that _dirty_ and _amazing_ wet dream. I bit down on my bottom lip feeling my small self-getting aroused. I'm wondering if Mr. Tomlinson is as big as he was in my head because...it felt so good to have him inside of me.

I want _more_ \- and not just in my dreams, but in reality. What should I do to get his attention, though? Should I dress a certain way? Flirt with him? Purposely touch him and make it seem accident?...

...No. No, Harry, I can't do _any_ of that. Why would I want to do something that'll just make my nightmare worse than it already is? As soon as I start acting seductively is when people will notice and bother me a whole lot more.

But, I really want his attention...I really want _him_ to touch me. I want him to grab a hold of my flat cheeks and thrust deep and hard inside me. I want _him_ to give me an orgasm that came from love and passion.

...I wanna ride on him submissively and have him ride on me dominantly. I just my world to be rocked and not raped.

Crap, I completely forgot Red was texting me. Well, she did ask if I had a great sleep...and I clearly did.

 **My** **sleep** **was** **alright** **...**

I not sure what else to say. Like, I did say, I'm not good with socializing anymore except with my family. My confidence and pride has sunk to the bottom of the pacific ocean while my insecurities rose to another galaxy - all because of that...dang video.

I'm glad. Is it cool if I call? Or would you rather text?

 **Texting** **for** **now** **...**

 **I'm** **in** **a** **car with** **my** **cousin**

I some what lied to her. Of course I'm in the car with Zayn, but I'm not sure if I'm ready to _talk_ to Red. I don't know why - it just feels weird.

 **Texting** **it** **is** **then** ****


	7. Bad Favor (2/2)

**Harry** **I** **know** **you're** **feeling** **uncomfortable** **and** **I** **want** **you** **to** **know** **its** **okay** **.**

**You** **can** **trust** **me** **.**

I stared at the text message....That's all I'm doing....

***

It feels like Zayn has been driving forever, so I quit playing my phone game and look out the window. My eyes widen seeing the horrible looking area we're in. There's trash everywhere, broken windows, hookers on the street corners - oh my God! I just watched someone hit another person over the head with some object!...Awe, poor person.

I felt the car coming to a stop in front of a mini store that sells speakers and microphones. (From what I could see) The outside of this place looks horrible. What are we doing here?

"Come on." Zayn speaks while getting out of his car. I just stare out the window of my cousin shutting his door, and walking to the front of the car on the sidewalk. He gives me an annoyed and impatient look.

From his view he could probably see me struggle to open the door by locking and unlocking my self in, then eventually shyly opening the door and getting out. I stared at him with probable puppy eyes while slowly shutting the door.

"Before Christmas, Haz." He spoke while letting out a heavy sigh.

As the door shut I started to move but got pulled back, realizing my opened plaid shirt got stuck inside.

"For fuck sakes." I could hear Zayn coming towards me. He opens the door, roughly removes my piece of clothing from the stuck area, slams the door and pushes me forward. "Let's go!" I guess the kindness didn't last long.

We were walking up to the glass doors, and I easily could see a big 'closed' sign. As we stood in front of it I was going to say something but scared to get hit.

I jump a little listening to Zayn bang on the glass while shouting a name, "Mason!" he bangs more and soon we heard a click.

Zayn opens the door and somewhat holds it for me as he walks in first. While walking inside this cold and blue filtered mini store, some early thirties white guy comes over to a big glass square counter.

"Hey, Mason!" Zayn smiles and high fives the guy. The guy smiles back while doing that man hug thing.

As they both chat and laugh together I just stand there looking down at my - Niall's shoe - while fiddling my fingers. I don't even know why we're in this store. Maybe Zayn needs a microphone for the recordings he does...But, why'd I have to come inside?

"Haz?" I quickly look up with somewhat wide eyes at Zayn.

"Yes," I spoke quietly noticing the man was looking me up and down with just his eyes.

"I really.. _really_ need the best quality microphone for what I have to do. My parents won't give me the money cause they cut me off - and you know how important music is to me." He pauses and sighs. "Earlier today I called up Mason here and asked if he could make a deal."

I looked away from him not wanting to hear the rest of what he was going to say. I felt my body tense up, a lump growing in my throat, my stomach twisting, and tears whelming in my eyes.

_How could I be so stupid? He said something about me looking good for the favor he needed. I'm always getting myself in these situations..._

"Haz? Did you hear what I said?" he sounded different. His tone isn't his usual asshole or cheery tone. It was very apologetic. "I need you to do me a favor...Could you..have sex with Mason?"

The amount of time it took Zayn to say what he just said my tears already filled my eyes, and couldn't handle not dropping down my cheeks.

"Really, Zayn?" I cried. "You're seriously asking me this!?" I turned around and started walking towards the door.

"Stop!" As I was about to push the door open Zayn turns me around after rushing after me. "Haz, please." he whispers while holding my shoulders. "I really need this - and it was either me or you."

I could have sworn my heart stopped beating. "I'm not gay - I'm not used to that anal shit. You're completely used to getting fuck so what's wrong with having sex another time?"

 _"Rape!_ It was rape! _Not sex!_ And you know that  and yet you're going to bargain my body for a stupid microphone."

Zayn stared into my eyes for a few seconds silent, then he turned his head to face his friend, "Don't take all night, alright. I'm only giving you a half an hour with him." 

 _Oh my God...He's seriously selling me out. I could take it if some random person would have done this, but Zayn is my_ cousin _. A family member..I can't believe this._

Zayn turned his head back to look at me. "I don't wanna do this to you, but...I don't have a choice. I'm sorry." he wipes away my tears as he apologized. "I'll make it up to you."

_Make it up to me?...I never wanna see his face again after this._

I looked away from him down at my - Niall's shoes and thought about how I'm going to make myself  zone out of the moment with the man.

I didn't really have time since I saw the man's shoes step in my view. I saw his hands reach out to grab my waist, and a whimper escaped my mouth as he pulled me close against him.

"You're so damn hot." He runs his fingers through my hair hard.

"Just come out to the car when you're one." Zayn speaks to me and walks out of the store.

"Tell me your name." The guy whispers and then goes down to bite on my neck.

"Ow...Harry." I spoke quietly trying not to screech from the pain he's giving my neck.

"Well, then let's go in the back, whatever your name is." He grabs my hand and starts to pull me away.

-

I slowly walk out of the store holding Zayn's microphone with tears on my face.

I'm not crying because of the man raping me because it wasn't that bad. He was small and slow, but what makes me cry is the fact the my cousin who knows about my issue would sell me like that.

"Hey, took you long enough. Come on - get in the car. I'll take you out to eat something."

"No." I say as I got to the drivers side where Zayn was standing. "I wanna go home. Can I drive?" I ask while I open the door and sit in the drivers seat. I don't even wait for him to reply - I shut the door and turn the keys in the ignition.

"Alright," I heard him say as I was rolling up all the windows. Before Zayn could place his hand on the passenger door I locked all the doors. "Harry, open the door."

"I'm gonna keep this microphone since _I_ worked for it." I said dully while putting the car in reverse and backing it up until I'm able to just drive off - leaving Zayn wherever he is.


	8. Starbucks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry everyone who's been reading if I haven't updated. I've been mostly posting chapters on WattPad under the same name Fierra2000. Thanks for reading and still doing so. Love you xx.

"Harold, eat some breakfast before you leave for school. You know how fatigue you get when you don't eat in the morning." my mother says standing at the front door with my father as they put on their jackets, seeing me walk down the curvy stairs after getting dressed with my bag around my right shoulder.

"I'm gonna head down to Starbucks instead." I walked over to the front door passing them. They backed away a little so I was able to open the door and walk out together.

I was walking in front of them as my father started to speak, "Tonight your mother and I are going on another business trip and we'll most likely be back next month or the following month after that. Will you be able to-"

"Yes, Dad. I can take care of myself. Especially, with all the workers in and out of the house."

Before we reached our cars we started to feel Seattle's usual raindrops fall down. "Oh, shoot. Let me get our umbrella's." My mother said to my dad while she turned around and walked back to the big house.

I don't need my umbrella because I have my black hoodie that I'm pulling over my head now. I have the perfect rainy day outfit on too. Wearing all black. Black t-shirt under zipped black fabric jacket, black skinny jeans and Niall's black high tops. (I think I'm wearing all black mostly because of Niall's shoes).

As I walk to my car I could hear cars driving by the big gate with their wheels moving water around that's starting to build up in small holes on the road. That's when my phone makes it's text message noise.

I pull it out of my pocket as I unlocked my car. I saw the name of the person and the message on my lock screen.

**Niallier**  
**Hey...You wanna come to my party at my house Friday night. No**

The message is cut off since the lock screen can't give out any more of the message, so I quickly unlock it. I can't believe Niall is texting me after three years.

I'm surprised that he hasn't changed his number since we've stopped being friends.

I quickly dropped down my notifications and tapped the message waiting for the screen to show me everything else Niall has to say.

**No one has to know youre coming. Just come to my house before everyone else and stay in my room bc I really wanna talk to you...You dont have to text back if you don't want to.**

I smirked at the message reading it over and over while standing in the rain. I snapped out of it and got into my car, starting the engine and driving to Starbucks.

_I hope this isn't a trick..._

❅

It took me a while to get to Starbucks since I live far from the school, but I'm here now and ready to drink some coffee and eat a pastry.

I made sure to park a bit far from the cafe so no one from school could see me getting out of the expensive vehicle. I turned my car off, took my keys out of the ignition, opened the door and stood in the pouring rain soaking up my fabric black jacket even more than it already was.

I quickly walk over to the clear glass door of the place and open it up to get the amazing smell of brewing coffee and sweet pastries.

Luckily there's no line to wait in and get spotted by anybody, so I made my way over to the counter.

"Good morning, sir. What would you like?"

"Um. Just a sweet ice coffee. Thank you." for some reason I always say thank you before anything is done for me. I mean, I always tell myself to wait to say thanks, but the words come out early.

"That'll be $4.29," she says with a smile.

I smirk back while grabbing my wallet and opening it. Instantly, my smirk drops staring into the empty piece of leather.

_Crap, I forgot to reload on cash. And great my cards are in my other wallet._

I look at the women with a sigh. "I'm sorry, is it okay if I come back-I forgot my mon-"

"Here." I heard a voice behind me call out, and saw a tattooed arm reaching out to the women with a five dollar bill.

Whoever it is moved next to me so it would be easier for the women to grab the money. I turned my head to get a better look at my savior for the day and thank him-...

_Mr. Tomlinson...Great._

I stared at him and swallowed hard. "Actually, you can put our orders together. If that's not any trouble."

"No problem, sir, just four dollars extra." I watched him hand the women more money. I guess I missed him ordering something for himself.

My heart almost stops when he looks at me with those blue eyes and perfect smile. I quickly look away while pulling my hood down and quickly running my hand through my long hair trying to fix it. The ends were pretty wet, but that didn't bother me. All I really did was fix the hair that was in my face.

"Hello, Harold."

I try to look at him, but my eyes keep moving down when I force them up. "Th-Thanks." I clear my throat. "And hi." I clear it again and looks away.

"School doesn't start yet-you wanna take a seat with me?"

 _No, I might throw up in front of you. Maybe even_ on _you._

"Y-Yeah, sure." I hate myself right now.

I start to walk over to another counter to reach for my stuff, but Mr. Tomlinson takes all of it and walks away.

I open my mouth a little to take a breath while thinking, _okay_.

I start to follow him with my hands in my jean pockets over to these twin couches with circular tables in front of them. I just stand there when he sits our stuff on the table and looks at me. "You alright, love?"

_Love? Do British people say that often or is he...really calling me love?_

I feel my cheeks heating up and my shoulders going up a little. "...I'm just wet."

Holy _crap-what did I just say?_

He chuckles while stepping towards me. I stare at his face with cautious-somewhat-wide eyes as he's unzipping my jacket. He then looks into my eyes as he slides the jacket off my shoulders and arms.

"There. Now you're not wet." _I kinda still am._ I watch him toss the fabric jacket over on the empty table. "Come, sit next to me. Please." He sits down on the cushion right where we were standing and I slowly walk myself over to the cushion close to the window.

"Your hair looks pretty good when it's a little wet." he says while grabbing his hot coffee off the table.

I look down a little at my fingers playing together while smirking. I could see the hair that's hanging down is wet and a little clumped together...It does look kind of cute...I guess.

"Thanks," I mutter.

"Why'd you leave the house like this? A fabric hoodie isn't going to block the rain. Where's your umbrella?"

"...I wasn't thinking. I was...in a hurry I guess."

There was silence between us for what felt like an hour until I saw a blueberry muffin get sat on my lap. "Here, take it. I bought two of them." I look up at him smiling at me with no teeth. "I wanna talk to you about after school."

"...Okay." I say quietly.

"Well, I got an email from the principal last night that no one can stay after today. That includes teachers, students. I don't even know why he decided this, but rules are rules. So where do you wanna go?"

I stared at him unsure of what to say. "Do you wanna come back here?" he asked with a chuckle.

I blink and move my eyes away from him. "...It's up to you. I don't mind."

I hear him laugh and it made me look at him. He was standing while grabbing his stuff. "I'll see you later, love." He drops his umbrella next to me and walks away from the area and out of the glass door.

I watched him leave and then I looked down at the thoughtful gift he left me...I couldn't help but blush and smirk. "This would be the second time he's done me a favor." whispers to himself while remembering what almost happened to him with his old geometry teacher.

*

I did the usual thing I do when I come to school. I park my car far away, walk a bit until I'm in front of the big doors.

As I was walking inside I closed Mr. Tomlinson's umbrella and tried to keep myself invisible, but of course, there's some people that have to stare.

The next thing apart of my daily routine is to get past the football team to my locker. I need to find a way to get dry. In middle school during Seattle's raining episodes, Niall would have an electric blow drier in his locker and we would dry up in the empty boys locker room.

It's times like this where I wish I brought my own electric blow drier.

I take a deep breath and try to walk past the lockers with all the football players standing near them. Just when I thought luck was on my side-I was _so_ close to getting past them until I heard one of them call my name. And it wasn't just any one of them...It was Niall.

I slowly turn myself to see that the players were chatting and fooling around amongst themselves. Not even noticing that Niall stepped himself away with his seventh-grade electric blow dryer in hand over to me.

"Bathroom." He says while walking past me.

I follow him with worry and curiosity all the way down the hall to the bathroom. He held the door open for me when he walked in first and then walked over to the sinks and waits for me to walk over.

"Did you get my text?" he asks as he hands me the blow dryer that doesn't need to get plugged in.

I stare down at the blow dryer in my hands, not wanting to look at Niall's eyes. "...Yes."

It was silent for what felt like forever-I really hate these moments-and then I saw Niall's hand reach for the blow dryer. He walks behind me and turns it on low and starts drying my hair for me. "Are you coming?"

"...To your house?"

"Yeah...I promise if you come early no one will see or know you're at my house."

"...I'd love to come over, Ni, but...Do you not want people to see me at your party that you have to hide me in your room?"

"What-no. Haz, I'm trying to protect you. I don't want any asshole there to treat you like a..."

"A whore." I didn't make it sound like a question. It was obvious what word he was going for.

"Yeah...that...But, you're not a whore, Haz....You're a victim."

"That's funny. Cause I remember you saying that I should stop making myself a victim and leave-"

"Stop," he turns the blow dryer off and sits it down on the sink. I felt his hands on my shoulders, turning me around to face him. "I didn't mean that, okay? We were best friends for years, and I can't just pretend like we weren't and throw all of that away because of that vi-"

"I don't wanna hear about the video, Ni..."

"Sorry...But, the point is is that I love you. I don't wanna lose you again. Especially since after senior year we might not see each other...Please, say something."

"...I don't know what to say...Out of all the pain everyone caused me, you hurt me the most. You were suppose to be there for me and instead you chose to hang around your team mates. And now you wanna make things better between us because you don't wanna lose the years that we shared? Bullcrap. You just don't wanna feel guilty anymore."

I was about to walk past Niall when he hugs me tight. "You're right, I do feel guilty but that's not why I'm trying to make things right with you...I missed you and I know you missed me."

I started to hug Niall back just as tight feeling tears form into my eyes blurring my vision. "I did miss you." my voice sounded quite but high from the lump forming in my throat.

"So..." He lets go of me and witnesses tears streaming down my face. "Are you coming?'

I shrugged. "Maybe. When is it again?"

"Friday."

"Tomorrow. Alright. Fine, I'll go."

Niall smiles and it makes me shyly smile. "Awe, thanks, Haz." he hugs me again. "And I promise I won't let anyone hurt you."

"I know you won't."

He lets go of me and grabs his blow dryer. "Now lets fix this wet mess of yours." I chuckles and turn around.

*

It's the end of school and I'm a little mad at Mr. Tomlinson as I'm walking outside to my car. Not _once_ has he looked at me, smiled at me or even helped me with geometry. He just taught the classes he had...ignoring me. Great. He's ignoring me. So, I guess I won't be meeting him at starbucks after all.

Whatever. I shouldn't get my hopes up on a guy that'll just hurt me like the rest anyway. I mean, I'm sure he's going to find out by some teacher about my video and he'll rape me too...It might not be rape...I might want it from him...

That dream I had of him felt really realistic. Me being afraid, him being sexy as H, him being mean to me and throwing me on some bed and-

"Harold!"

I heard someone calling me name fro behind knocking me out of my thoughts. I turn around to see that it's Mr. Tomlinson looking around him and walking over to me and my car.

I licked my lips and moved some of my hair out of my face. "Hi," I spoke shyly and rolled my eyes at myself-glad he didn't see since I put my head down and my long hair blocked the action.

"It kinda sucks that we brought our cars even though we one to get to Starbucks."

I looked up at him smiling at me. Making me blush. "We could...walk there...and come back for our cars."

He nods his head. "Great idea. How about we get our coffee's and go walk around a little."

I smirk at him for many reasons. I love his idea, he smells _amazing_ , his blue eyes are gorgeous and _really_ close to me. I start to nod breaking out of that short trance. "Yeah, that sounds..great...Should we go now?"

My teacher starts to look around at everyone leaving or just standing around. "Don't take this the wrong way, but I don't want people to see me walk out of here with my student."

I start chuckle and then catch myself. "Um...You're right. But, you shouldn't be worried about that. I'm eighteen and.." I cleared and turned around. "I'm gonna shut up now and put my stuff in my car." I unlock my door listening to my teacher laughing at me.

"Come on. Lets just go. I'm sure no ones watching us like hawks."

"Oh, trust me everyone's watching me." I mumble to myself.

"What?"

I close my car door and look at him. "Nothing..." I shut my door and start walking out of the school's parking lot with Mr. Tomlinson.  
  
  
  
  
  


My teacher and I have already went to Starbucks to get our favorite ice coffee's, and now we're just walking around town while he teaches me the basics of theater. The streets are all wet from the rain earlier, and by the look of the gray clouds blocking the sun I'm sure it's going to rain some more.

He's not going to talk to me about acting he's boring me with Shakespeare, and everything he's done and how he brought true theater to live. I honestly zoned out of what he was saying once he finished talking about the Othello story. I started thinking about _us_ really. I started thinking about how awesome it would be to have a _boyfriend._ Someone who won't hurt me, who will take care of me, who I will share my money with and...I don't know-just someone I can love and have real sex with, you know?

Even though I'm not listening to what he's saying I can still hear his beautiful voice. It's not manly, it's kinda boyish with the British accent to top it all off, and it's just so freaking adorable. He has that kind of voice where you wouldn't have to look in order to know if he's smiling or not. You could just hear the excitement he has for Shakespeare...If I wasn't smart I wouldn't think he's-

"Harold, are you listening?" I looked at my teacher who's looking at me as I step over a wet puddle.

I felt my cheeks getting hot as I shook my head lightly. "Not really. I'm just enjoying the sound of your voice." To somewhat block my pink cheeks I place my coffee cup to my mouth a take a few sips. I saw from the corner of my eye that he playfully rolled his eyes while shaking his head.

The both of us stopped walking waiting for cars to pass by before we could cross the street. To speed up the process I pressed a button on one of the street light poles.

"I've been talking about the man for about twenty minutes." my teacher blurted out. "When'd you stop listening?"

I bite on my bottom lip feeling that the heat in my cheeks aren't going away. "..I'm sorry, sir, I don't wanna hurt your feelings." We both start to chuckle together. "The man's boring to me."

He chuckles more. "Alright, okay. I understand, but how am I suppose to give you a grade in theater?"

I shrug with a smirk. "It's easy, Just type in an A and you won't have to go through all this work." The pole gives us the signal walk man to walk across the street to the other side of the sidewalk.

"I could do that, but then that would mean we can't hang out like this." my stomach twisted listening to those words and my cheeks won't stop burning. "I have to grade you on something." We reached the wet sidewalk as he talks.

I huff and take a sip of my coffee without smirking. "Can't we just talk? I don't wanna talk about school or _Shakespeare_ anymore."

"Sure. What do you wanna talk about?" I heard him say as I was staring at the ground.

I smile again without showing any teeth. "Your life back in England." I look at Louis kinda hoping he'd be smiling but instead he was looking down at the wet sidewalk we're slowly walking on. My smile went away and I felt kinda terrible. "I-I'm sorry, sir. You don't-"

"No, no." I look at him at the same time he looks at me. "It's fine. I don't mind talking about my life over there it's just..." he sighs and looks away from me to stare back down at the ground. "...I had a rough break up with my fiance. I have a restraining order on him."

"Him?" My eyes widen in surprise. My teacher is gay? Or bisexual? Either way he's into guys?...Me maybe?

"Yeah...Him" For a moment I thought he was answering my mental question that he could like me...But sadly no.

"What happened?..."

He sighs and I look away at the ground too while we slowly walk down the sidewalk. "...He past boundaries that I made clear _not_ to pass....I'm a virgin and he knows I was waiting until marriage to lose it." I hear him scoff lightly. "Now that I think about it that's probably why he proposed to me. He loves sex and I was stupid to think he'd respect me not wanting it. He _seemed_ like he respected my choice, but he'd always try to get me to cave in. Of course I wouldn't so the next thing I know he's down on one knee handing me a ring with his charming smile..."

I look at Louis and I could see that his eyes were gossy during his pause, then I look away at the ground again.

"...He's done so much for me that I thought I could give him a small treat. Mostly because I thought he was going to cheat on me if I didn't give him a little pleasure...My female friend brought me this..outfit to wear for him. Nothing extreme-it was just black lace."

I was about to laugh thinking about my teacher being blakc lace, but held back just in case he might not appriciate it.

"I gave him a blowjob and...that wasn't enough for him..."

"Mister, you don't have to continue this if you don't want to." Dang it, I feel like tears are going to form in my eyes thinking about what could have happened. Was it worse than what happens to me?

"No, I-...I wanna talk about it. I trust you, Harold...You made me comfortable enough to talk about this..."

Oh my God. By the way he looks I think something really bad did happen between him and his ex-fiance. I bit down on my bottom lip staying silent for a couple of seconds. "...D-Did he rape you?" I caught myself saying with a cracked voice.

"Does rough..fingering count as rape?"

I looked at him quickly with a frown. "If you said no then, yes that counts as rape."

"...I said it mroe than twice, but he wasn't listening to me...He wasn't very gentle either if he was trying to repare me for something bigger. If it was big...I shouldn't of even dressed up and gave him-"

"It's not your fault he did that to you. You're right, he past a boundary he shouldn't have, but don't blame yourself for it." I look away wishing that I'd take my own advice.

"...He was a teacher too and I couldn't work around him anymore even with a restraining order put in place. I had to move away...so I came to America."

"Mister-"

"I'm glad I came to the states" I look back at him and he was smiling at me without showing teeth. Of course, it made the heat come back to my cheeks. "I wouldn't have met you if I didn't come here...You're so easy to talk to. You don't judge. You don't...You're different, Harold. And I like that." I probably look like a tomato.

"...Thank you." I finally say.

"No. Thank _you_. I've never been comfortable telling anyone about that, and now that I have I feel so much better about it, and...it's like weight was lifted off of me."

"You're welcome then..."

"Okay, now you tell me a secret or something you've never told anyone before."

I got nervous. The only secret I have (that isn't much of a secret) is that everyone passes me around. He doens't even know about that yet and it scares me because I know he's going to find out, and he won't want to be around me anymore. Not only that but he'd soon find out about my video...

Heck no I'm not going to share that big secret. I'll just think of another one...Do I have another one? "....I got it-but you can't tell _anyone._ Okay?"

"Just speak." he chuckles out while placing his coffee near his lips and taking a sip.

"Okay...My parents are millionaires-almost billionaires." I bit on my lip while smirking.

My teacher gave me a surprised look. "What? _You're_ rich?" I nod. "How come you don't...You don't seem rich."

"And what does that mean?" we both start to laugh.

"Nothing, nothing it's just...You don't act like a rich eighteen year old."

"Well, like you said, mister I'm different."

"And that you are. Your secret is safe with me...Can I ask you something personal?"

"You've already asked for my secret, so go ahead."

"Are you gay too?"

I stopped walking. I stared at him repeating that question in my head.

"Harold, you alright?"

One side of me isn't sure what my sexuality is, and then the other side of me is saying that I am gay...I was straight until I kept getting raped by the majority of men.

"I'm sorry. That question was inappropriate. Clearly, it was too pers-"

"I am gay." I blurted out softly.


	9. Twinks

Thank God, I finally got into my car, done with talking to Mr. Tomlinson. It was so _awkward_ telling him that I'm gay. He didn't even say anything about it! He just started talking about Shakespeare again.

No, I wasn't listening. I was listening to my heart beating, my breathing, I was counting time, watching others on the streets, and thinking too much about everything. Then, he said he should be getting home and I completely agreed. I waited for him to start walking away and that's when I headed in another direction to get back to the school to get in my car that I'm in now.

I heavily sigh while resting my head on the steering wheel. "I want him so bad." I say out loud cause my head is filled with too much to hear it in there. "But I won't be able to have him." I lift my head off the steering wheel. "Not with my personal issues. He's gonna think I'm a slut once he finds out about that video...I hate my life. The millionth time I've probably said that to myself."

I start my car and slide some of my hair back with my non-driving hand and start to pull out of the parking lot. I got a long drive home with thoughts I don't want in my head.

*

I was frowning while pulling into the drive way in front of the mansion, but there's a car in my usual parking spot so I have no choose but to park behind it.

I turned the car off and got out of it while trying to eye the license plate of the foreign car in front of me. I've never seen it before so maybe a friend of my parents is inside...but my parents aren't home...so who the heck is this?

"Harold!"

My head turned quickly to the voice shouting from the front door. It was one of the maids that's my favorite named Maggie. I smiled at her. "What!?" I started to walk away from the cars over to the stairs that lead to the porch.

"Someone is here to see you." She moves out of the way of the doorway for me to walk inside the house.

"And who is that?" I close the door.

"He won't let me say."

My stomach clenched. It's a he?

"Are you okay, Harold? Do you need anything to drink?"

"No, I'm good. I'll just...where's the person exactly?"

"In your room. I'll pour some water for you boys." I open my mouth to reject but she was already quick to the kitchen as if her life depended on making it.

Great. There's a strange man in my bed room waiting for me. That's doesn't make me nervous at all.

I sucked up all my courage and decided to walk across the mansion to get to the curvy stair case. Lucky, once I'm up there my bed room isn't far down the hall. All I do is stand in front of it slowly catching my breath from the long stairs. My hand slowly reaches for the handle and slowly twist it...Then, I open the door and I felt anger start to spread through me.

"What the f-..." I clear my throat. "What the heck are you doing here?" I stay at the door frame not moving a muscle.

Zayn was sitting on the end of my bed staring at me with-I hope to God it's not apologetic eyes because I don't wanna hear it!

"Harry," He stood up from the bed and took a step towards me.

"Don't even. Stay right there."

He rolls his eyes and stands still. "Look I'm sorry, okay?"

"Bull ess."

"I mean it, Haz." He runs his fingers through his hair. "I fucked up! I was a bit on drugs and I wasn't thinking straight! I didn't mean to sell you out like that! But I _really_ needed those-"

"Do you hear yourself right now?" I slam the door shut and look back at him who has wide eyes. "Do you really freakin' hear yourself right now!? You sold my body to a man I didn't know who could have had an STD for some freakin' thing you could have asked me to buy! I'm rich! I could have bought it for you! You have a rich brother who could have bought it for you!"

"Shit," Zayn mumbles. "I didn't even think of that."

"No, you don't freakin' think! You never do!"

"Stop fucking yelling at me-I told you I fucked up, alright!"

"No! You didn't just eff up!" I felt tears start to form in my eyes. "...You know what I go through in school and outside of it. Ever since that video went viral you know what's been happening to me. You know how it hurts me and how much I wanna kill myself for _my screw up.._.and yet you put me through something like that." I shake my head lightly. "What you did is unforgivable. There's not a dang think you can do that'll change my mind about that."

"Harry-"

"Get out." I said softly it almost sounded like a cracked whisper. I felt a warm tear fall out my right eye right when I blinked.

"Harry, wait-"

"I'm calling for security." I walked over to a speaker on the wall and pressed a red button waiting to hear a voice.

"Harry, I wanted to take you somewhere tonight."

"Yeah, cause I totally trust you-hey, Mark? Can to come up and get my cousin from my bed room, please?"

"I promise this is not a set up. There's a place that I think you'll love to go to. It has all your kind of people."

I look at Zayn while letting go of the red button. "What the heck do you mean 'your kind of people' ?"

"You know...Soft skinned pretty boys like yourself." He smiles at me.

I cross my arms and give him a stern look. "I don't trust you."

"Then, invite a friend. Hey! Invite that blonde kid."

"Niall isn't gay."

"So? It's a party."

"A party? Zayn, I don't party." I heard my door open which meant at least two security guys are waiting for Zayn.

"Yeah, it's club-like."

"I don't club either."

"Harry, please. I just wanna do something to-"

"Make yourself not feel guilty about what you did to me?"

Zayn stays silent.

"Right. Get out now."

He sighs and starts walking past me. I turn around with my arms still crossed watching as he walks through the men and out of the door. "Thanks, guys."

They nod at me and leave my room while politely closing the door.

I got a little startled when my phone made a iMessage noise. I dug it out of my pocket and looked at the lock screen.

**Red**  
**Hey. Wanna do something tonight? x**

....Maybe I should bring her with me. I mean, it would be a good way for us to get to know each other and for me to make a new friend. Hopefully one I can trust.

I unlock my phone and drop on my bed while texting Red back.

**Yeah, my cousin wants to take me to some place. You can come along if you want.**

I bit down on my lip waiting for her to text back.

**Red**  
**Cool. I was gonna say we should go to Twinks but your cousin probably has something else in mind.**

I frowned at the text bubble.

**Twinks?**

**Red**  
**Yep. You're going to love it...hopefully. It'll totally loosen you up.**

**Give me your cousins number.**

**Why?**

**Red**  
**Just do it.**

**_Download Attachment_ **

**Red**  
**Thanks! <3**

Well, isn't this going to be an interesting night. I've never been to a club before and I don't really wanna go. Even though I wanna get to know Red, there could be people at school at that club...maybe not since the place is called Twinks. So, I'm guessing the place is filled with gays, which is weird because Zayn isn't gay and I'm sure neither is Red so why would they recommend that? To make me feel better? I don't think a bunch of guys flirting with me is going to make me feel better. I have a crush on my geometry slash theater teacher. That's the only person I'd want to flirt with me at a place like that...and maybe dance with...and go home with...

I turn my head over to my phone ringing. It says an unknown caller...Who the heck would this be?

"H-Hello?"

"Hi, is this Harry Styles?" It sounds like a man's voice.

"...Who's asking?"

"I'm a friend of your cousin Zayn. My names Snap."

"Snap?" I asked curiously.

"It's a nickname-but anyway your cousin is ignoring my calls and messages, so I need _you_ to let him know something."

"...Is he in trouble with something?"

"He will be if he doesn't come see me."

"What do you want from him?"

"I want what he owes me. He needs to hand over five-hundred thousand dollars by yesterday's date, but he bailed and I can guess why."

I put my hand over my eyes while sighing. This is typical Zayn. He borrows money and never pays back and then he almost ends up dead because of it. It's why his parents stop caring for him but sometimes his brother would help out his troubles...I wonder if he'll help this time.

"Do you know where Zayn is?" He asks sternly which makes my stomach twist.

"Y-Yes. We're hanging out tonight with a friend of mine. At some place called Twinks." Crap! Why would I tell him that!?

"Great. I'll be there as well. Don't even tell me what time. I know Zayn's club timings."

"Wait!...Didn't you say you're a friend of Zayn's?"

"Yeah. An old friend." I heard the sound of a hang up.

I looked at my phone and felt my heart drop. Zayn is once again in trouble and...I might be the only one who can help this time...Five-hundred thousand dollars...I really wish I could swear for an hour right now.

**Five hours later**

I'm standing outside of the gate that leads to the mansion, waiting for Red to pull up. (I still have Zayn's car) I stuff my hands in my brown jacket and look down at the ground with a soft sigh. I look at my hair that's dangling in front of my eyes, and it made me think of what it looks like when it's clumped together wet. Now I'm thinking about when Mr. Tomlinson said I looked good with my wet hair, and now I'm thinking about him and his beautiful smile and how he was such a gentleman by giving me his food and an umbre-

_Beep! Beep!_

I quickly looked up at a crimson car slowly pulling up making cracking sounds because of the tiny rocks under the wheels.

"Come on, Pretty boy!" Red shouts with a crimson smile.

I smile with no teeth and start to walk over to the car with no hood. Once I got to the back I could easily see Zayn in the passenger seat, but I ignored him and just got inside. I heard a girly laughter once I closed the door and I looked in Red's direction.

"What?"

"Nothing it's just why open the door when you could have just jumped in?" She giggles out while slowly pulling off into the street.

I blush with a smirk and shrug. "I don't know. I'm not a jumping-in-car type, I guess."

Red chuckles. "You're very adorable there, Pretty."

"Pretty?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, do you not like that nick name?"

I looked out my side of the car seeing us pass houses and feeling a breeze in the cool hit me in a somewhat gentle way. "...It's unusual but I don't mind it." I find myself smirking.

"Well, even if you did mind it I'd still call you Pretty cause you're a pretty boy which is _why.._ we're going to Twinks."

"Yes," Zayn adds on and suddenly it felt colder than it should have been in May. "but we're leaving after an hour and going to a normal club."

"Hey, tonight is about Harry. Let's make him happy for as long as he wants. Right, Pretty?"

I shrugged. "I guess..." I honestly don't know if I really will enjoy this Twinks club...I wanna tell them to just go to a normal club and enjoy themselves...My mouth isn't opening though.

"And didn't you want to bring Harry to a club Jed like anyway?" Red asked Zayn.

"Yes, but I'd like to have fun too."

I rolled my eyes.

*

As we arrived at the club, Red and Zayn were both quick to be out as soon as she parked (in a spot I'm sure isn't a safe one). I got out of the car normally and closed the door behind me.

"Come on!" They both shout at the door near a guard.

I roll my eyes while starting to walk cause I hate being rushed. I love being at my own pace for a reason, you know. When I finally reached the guard I showed him my ID and walked in already lost since Red and Zayn went a head of me.

Crap.

This place is loud with music, filled with people (mostly men) and I can't find those two anywhere. I thought this was suppose to be about me?

I noticed that a couple of eyes were on me and I was trying my best to ignore them by keeping my eyes away from others. I think the best way to avoid this is by sitting at the bar where there's only about two people on stools. Perfect.

I walked over there and sat down. I turned my head behind me to see a stage with a blue filtered light lighting it up. Not only is this a club but its an entertainment place. Is it singing?

"You orderin'?" I jumped a little while turning my head back and facing who's obviously a bar tender.

"Um...No, I'm not thirsty."

"Alright." The guy said with a wink and walked away...Oh God he winked at me. Maybe the bar isn't a safe hide out.

I took my phone out of my pocket about to call Red when I heard everyone go to complete silence and different kind of music playing. It wasn't up beat but started out slow like instruments.

I looked back on the stage and there were no instruments. The lighting was magenta and there were boys standing in a line wearing...really tight innapropriate things...This is why the place is called Twinks. This is what's suppose to make me feel better? Dancing twinks that are half naked wearing lace to entice these men that probably have wives at home and are in the closet.

I rolled my eyes at the slutty dancers and turned back the normal way in the stool. I didn't bother to text or call the other two, I'm just going to play a game until I get bored enough to just leave this place all together.

"Now why would someone come here not to enjoy the show?" A mans voice whispered in my ear.

It didn't make me jump I just felt chills going down my spine. I saw the man from the corner of my eyes sit down in the stool next to me. I then looked at him and he was pretty handsome. Somewhat shaved face with a little shadow, less than an inch short black hair, dark eyes and a seductive smile.

"Not to be rude, but I'm not in the mood for talking."

"I can tell. Hey, uh make that two shots!"

I looked at him to make sure he wasn't saying that to me, and now I'm wondering if one of the shots is for me.

His gaze turns to me and my eyes lock on his. I felt embarrassed that I was caught staring and I'm too scared to look away.

Great, now I'm reminded of one of my raping moments where a guy made me stare deep into his eyes while he-

"Green." The guy said with his seductive smile.

I blinked. "Excuse me?"

"Your eyes."

"...Oh. Yeah, they're green."

He chuckles, "I wasn't asking. I was stating."

"Oh..."

He looks away and laughs (probably at me), then the shots were placed in front of him.

"Please, enlighten me on why a shy adorable thing like you-" he picks up one shot glass. "-is doing at a gay whore house like this, sitting alone at a bar?" He gulps down the shot and looks at me.

I stare at him for a few seconds and bit my bottom lip. "...My friends are here. And if this is a whore house..its a very big house." I catch myself smirking and again biting my lip.

The guy starts laughing again and I quietly join. He slides the other shot glass to me and moves his stool closer.

"Well, you should come here often without your friends."

"And why is that?"

"So you don't feel embarrassed when they see you on that stage."

My eyes widen a bit and my smirk is gone. "...Me?"

"Yeah, you. You're perfect for this kind of thing. Lots of horny in-the-closet men would love to spend tons of money to watch you dance and give them things they want."

I frown at him. "Who are you exactly?"

"The owner of this place." He winks at me. "Don't worry I'm not gonna force you to do this. I'm just asking and you get paid _tons_ of money for it." He clears his throat a bit. "You'll get even more money if you're mine."

"If I'm yours?"

"You know, like a lover." He laughs. "You're one clueless little kitten huh?"

"Oh that. I thought you were implying that I become your um..."

"I'm not into the whole dominant and submissive shit. I treat people much kinder than that." He slowly slides my hair back behindd my ear. "I'd love to see you in the spotlight though."

I quickly get up out of the stool and clear my throat. "Listen, you sound very kind and you're pretty hot, but I have trust issues and there's someone else I have my mind on so...I'm sorry, okay-I can't work here and I can't be with you. I mean, the guy I like will look at me like I'm gross if he ever sees me on that stage and-"

"He's sounds pretty judugmental. I wouldn't care if you do something like this. Its your sweet personality that attracts me not the way you survive in life." He stands up and steps tight close to me. "If you like him so much then go for it. But come back here when you realize who'll be better for you." He leans down and presses his lips against mine.

I froze and couldn't move and my eyes stated open. He lips were on mine for about thirty seconds until he let go and walked away from me...What the eff did I just get myself into?

My phone rang which scared the crap out of me and I looked at. The numbered looked familiar like I saw it earlier today....Crap! It's Snap!


	10. Uncomfortable

I rolled my eyes when I saw Zayn in a corner somewhere smoking what's probably weed. He just left Red behind? Typical–I'm not surprised.

I walked over to him and he looks at me while letting out the smoke.

I waved it away. "Snap is here."

He gives me a look. "Snap!? How do you even know who that is? How do you know he's here–"

"I don't. He called earlier and just called now telling me that he arrived in this street area. I don't think he knows you're in a gay club though."

"Shit." He drops his weed or cigarette on the ground and groans. "How did he know your number?"

"Why are you asking _me_ that? And why do you keep borrowing money from people and don't pay back?"

"That's none of your business and I don't need your money."

"I wasn't going to offer. I just wanted to give you a heads up, and I'm leaving so tell Red that, please."

"I lost her. She's at a table with these men in suits probably whoring herself out–"

"Shut up." I turned around and walked away from him. I can't talk to him any longer.

While I was walking in the area with all the tables I saw that owner that flirted with me. I quickly walk away heading to the door before he notices me–which I'm sure he did and probably chuckled.

Once I reached the door I had one of those 'phew' moments. I walked out past the guard and ended up on the sidewalk.

I can't take Red's car cause its her car and she has the key, so I'm gonna just maybe walk back home...or take a bus...or let someone drive me. No, I'm not letting someone drive me cause that's something I'll regret.

I slowly walk over to the end of the sidewalk where the road is and stood there watching cars drive by. Usually, there's taxi's out at this time and I see some going by, so I'll just let one of them take me home.

I'm not very good with getting a taxi's attention so I'm left just standing here...feeling awkward as eff.

**_Beep! Beep!_ **

I turned my head in that loud direction to find a white nice looking car far from me, with beaming headlights.

**_Beeeeep!_ **

_..._ Is it beeping at me? I look away cause the headlights are really strong. I heard a familiar laughter and then a beautiful voice. "Harold!"

I look back at the beaming lights and saw a head sticking out of the drivers window...I slowly smile and then bite my bottom lip. I'm kinda happy to know its him here. I was thinking about him. I start to slowly walk over to the nice vehicle

The black tinted windows roll down and I bend down to see my theater/geometry teacher's face.

"Hey, Harold. What are you doing out at this time? There's school tomorrow."

"I could ask and say the same."

He chuckles. "Are you looking for a ride?"

"...I was."

"Well, what are you waiting for? Get in." He pats the passenger seat.

I start to blush while I'm opening the passenger door. What teacher offers to pick up their student in the middle of the night?...What is Mr. Tomlinson doing on this side of town in the middle of the night anyway?

As he starts to drive off (pretty fast) I look at him trying to examine his facial expression...Or I could just ask him why he's out here...I mean, it's really none of my business to know why he's out around here–

"Are you going to stare at me all night or are you going to tell me where you live?" He does a quick glance at me and I look away blushing more.

"Sorry, I got lost in thought."

He chuckles and it makes my stomach flutter. "I bet you apologize a lot. You're probably submissive too."

My heart stopped. "W–What?"

"Submissive. Like, you always listen to anyone's demand."

I stay silent while biting my lip. "....I don't _always_ listen to what people tell me."

"I'm sorry, Harold, I wasn't trying to–"

"It's fine..." _This is so awkward._ "Why are you out here? In this area?"

He doesn't answer me. He's just silent. "....I was just seeing if a place was..open."

"What place?"

He clears his throat. "You haven't told me where you live."

"Oh, right. Um–"

"Are you hungry? Cause I'm starving and I don't wanna order anymore take out. There's a restaurant I know with amazing food...Do you wanna tag along?"

My face probably looks like an apple, but it's too dark for him to see. If I didn't know better I think he just... "Are you asking me out on a date?" I asked softly and quietly.

He stops at a red light and I felt his eyes on me. "I'm asking you to join me for a nice dinner, so we could chat about..school."

I laugh. "School?"

"What else would we talk about? Oh, wait I know. You."

I look at him. "What?"

"We'll talk about you. I told you some about me so it's your turn."

There's nothing positive to say about me...

**—**

Today is a Thursday morning and tomorrow is Friday, and I feel like crap. Last night at that dinner with Louis was a disaster, and I don't even want to see his face today in classes.

At first the "date" or whatever it was was going fine until I knocked over my cup of water on him. Of course he said it was fine and cleaned himself off, then minutes later a waitress comes and trips over my foot and food is all over Louis. He went to the bathroom to clean off and I just sat there wanting to cry...so I left before he came out of the bathroom.

I've never been out to dinner with someone except my parents, and it felt nice until the bad crap happened. We were talking about me and I just felt so nervous around him–I felt like what I was saying wasn't perfect enough for him and...Perfect...I'm remembering what that owner was telling me last night about how I could realize that Louis isn't the one for me to run after because he won't appreciate the real me...

No, no, no–he doesn't matter–its Mr. Tomlinson that matters. I don't wanna think about two guys at once because it'll really make me feel slutty and I don't wanna feel that way–Jeez! I hate when I'm not focused and things like a phone ringing scares the crap out of me. I lean over to look at who could be calling early in the morning.

**Incoming Call...**  
**Niall**

Its Niall...I picked up my phone off the table next to me and answered.

"Hello?"

"Hey...Uh, are you planning on going to school?"

"...Why?"

"Well, I was gonna say we could skip. Like together..and go do something else."

I stay silent.

"Harry?"

"What?"

"Are you gonna answer me?"

"No."

"No, what? You don't wanna go or you don't wanna answer me?"

"I don't wanna answer you cause I'm thinking."

"What is there to think about? Look, I'm not trying to trick you or anything. Tomorrow is when the party is and I was wondering maybe we could hang before then."

"...Where?"

"Somewhere. Just meet me at Starbucks" I hear the sound of him done with the conversation.

I roll my eyes and drop my phone in my lap. It would be nice to reconnect with Niall, but at the same time I don't wanna be around anyone but my teacher.

Its weird and I can't explain it but being alone or around others except _him_ I feel anger deep inside and my stomach gets all weird and ugh!

I lay back down on my comfortable pillow.

 _Maybe I'm getting sick. Maybe that's why I've been feeling that weird feeling in my stomach. But how would the sickness explain my thoughts about my teacher and how I don't wamma be separated from him. I_ completely _embarrassed myself in front of him last night, so I kinda don't wanna see his face but I really do. That didn't even make sense. None of this makes sense. I'm talking to myself when I could be getting washed and dressed. Why am I getting dressed? Right, Niall wants to hang out. God, now I'm forgetting things. Am I sweating? I feel a coldness on my forehead so its sweat right? Or am I really getting sick? I'm getting sick? No, I can't get sick. No ones here to take care of me! And worst of all–_

I quicky sit up and get out of bed to go to the bathroom to check my temperature.

 _I wouldn't be able to go to school to see_ him _!_

** Louis **

 

I finished putting on my thin dark red sweater with my dark skinny jeans, and now I'm heading downstairs to grab the rest of my things I need for the school day. Today is a half day so Harry and I could have more time to...whatever it is we're going to do in my theater office. Teaching, talking...

Talking. Talking seems to be hard for Harold because he doesn't make proper eye contact, he stutters, and he blushes. He gets nervous but for what reason? Last night wasn't very pleasing, but I don't blame Harold for it. The waitress was the one who got me all dirtied up, then Harold left when I came back from the bathroom cleaning up.

He didn't have to leave. Even though we didn't say much it was...still nice to just stare at him looking so...lost. He always has that look. I saw it when we were in Starbucks. He has this kind of glossy far away eye look that's really hard to explain unless someone really looks at his green eyes and sees what I see. I use to have that look when I was younger–it's a look someone has when they're...Oh my God, he's depressed? Depressed about what?

I look down at my pants pocket where my phone is when it started ringing, and then reach in to take it out. I looked at the caller ID. "Son of a bitch. Why is he–" I tapped the green circle and answered. "What do you want? Why do you still have my number?"

"Hey, hey, hey now. Don't get snippy with me early in the morning. I woke up with a wicked boner cause I was dreaming of me behind your big ass about–"

"Screw you, Kai."

"Oh, come on–you're not still mad at me are you? Babe, I'm making tons more money owning this joint then when I was a boring old London teacher."

"I can't believe you chose that place over me." I speak quietly as if it's a slight whisper.

"Still? Come _on–"_

" _Why_ are you calling me?"

"Cause I wanna tell you how my night was. I meant a beautiful little twink that was so lonely and so damn shy."

"You're telling me this because?"

"You know, it's rude to interrupt? Anyway–I really wanted to take this one home and give him a good night, but I decided I'll just wait until I see him again. But, then the funniest thing happened."

I roll my eyes. "What?" I say impatiently while grabbing all my stuff, holding the phone in between my ear and shoulder.

"I saw you."

I froze...I dropped my stuff and held the phone with my hand. "Y-You what?"

Kai starts laughing at me. "I saw you, Loubear. I was walking out of the club to uh–" he starts to laugh more. "I was just walking out there and saw you picking someone up."

"O-Okay, so what?"

"What were you doing on this side of town? On _my_ side of town."

I stay silent while picking my stuff back up and heading out of my flat. "It's none. Of your. Damn. Business." I was saying at the same time as picking up stuff and moving.

"Were you coming to see me?" I didn't answer him. "That boy you picked up. I could tell you didn't plan to pick him up considering he was tryna grab down a taxi, so tell me why you were just–" he speaks so fast and so much it's irritating.

"It's whatever okay!? Yes, I was–...I was coming to see you because–...I don't know. Look, I don't wanna talk to you. I have work to go to."

Kai lets out of a sigh while talking, "You can't see me but I'm shaking my head. You just told me that you were coming to see me and now you're saying you don't wanna talk to me. Even when we were together you were confused on what you wanted."

"I-I still have a restraining order on you which means no calling–"

"Cut the bullshit cause we both know you didn't fill out a restraining order. If you did I would have gotten a notice about it."

"Hanging up now!"

"Any time babe but wait–that boy that got in your car last night is he your friend?"

I frown while opening my car door. "Why?"

"I'm just curious."

I hang up the phone and throw it on the passenger seat. "Stay curious." I place my keys inside my car and start the engine.

 

** Harry **

 

I walked into Starbucks and looked around the place to see if Niall was here. All I saw were random adults sitting or rushing to work with their coffee's, some students mingling and then a group of fimiliar guys sitting and standing near a table. There's Niall. Not alone. With others. He lied to me. Now I'm leaving.

"Harry!" I heard Niall's voice shout as I turned around. I felt like the whole world was staring at me as I slowly turned back around to see Niall and the others staring at me with smiles and annoyed glares. Perfect. "Come here!"

Seriously, Niall? You want me to have an axiety attack? That's how you wanna restart this friendship? I heavily sigh and start to slowly walk over to the football team with surprisingly no cheerleaders. Since Niall was sitting in the middle of a booth with two guys beside him—Erik and Liam; Liam lightly smiles at me and stands up and say,

"Here take my seat right next to your loving friend." He pats Niall's shoulder while moving out of the way.

I look at Niall and he just smiles at me. I slowly move to the booth and sit next to my _friend_...This is so awkward.

"I thought..maybe you could get use to my friends since I'm on a team with them and..they go everywhere with me." Niall says to me but I don't say anything back. I'm kinda scared to talk around these boys.

"Yeah, we decided to lay off ya for a bit." Erik says and starts laughing with the rest of the crew. My stomach twists in all directions thinking about that night.

"Are you fucking serious right now?" I heard Niall snap to him.

"What? You know me–I'm always making jokes." He says while laughing.

"Not now." Niall grinds out through his teeth.

"Okay," I heard Liam say standing near me. "I'm just gonna say I'm sorry to you Harry. I haven't been treating you very well, and since Niall likes you then I'll play nice."

It's silent...

"...Wow, Liam, I'm shocked." Niall says, but I'm not sure if he's smiling cause I'm looking down at the table.

"Hey, Harry. We were gonna go hit that carnival in Vancouver that just open. You in?" Erik asks.

It was silent and I wasn't saying anything. I just...can't speak...I don't want to. These boys seriously hurt me. I feel like my throat is swelling up and I feel like crying. I don't want to go anywhere with them. Why would Niall for his to me—he lied—he said it was only going to be the two of us. Maybe I should just get up and walk out right now.

"Hey, we're talking to you." Liam shoves me a bit.

"Liam, that wasn't necessary." Niall says.

"Well, he's not saying anything"

"Give him time!"

"Harold?" That was the only time I looked up. The only time I focused on someone voice. "What going on here?" Mr. Tomlinson. Thank God.

"Hey, it's Mr. Tomo!" Idiot Erik says and I roll my eyes. How dare he mess up such a perfect name?

All the boys start to greet Louis and he greets them back then brings his attention to me. "Harold, do you wanna ride to the school? Since today is a half day I should talk to you about what's gonna happen after."

I was about to say something when all the bus except Niall start making 'ooh' noises and snickering. Great, now there's gonna be rumors about me and my teacher hooking up.

Mr. Tomlinson frowns at the boys probably wondering what they're making that noise for. "Harold, do you wanna come?"

"Um..." I can't answer cause I'm having a dirty thought of what he just asked me. "Maybe–yes–sure." I clear my throat. "Yeah, I'll come." I stand up and almost trip. Dang it.

I move away from the jerks and over to my teacher. "We're you going to get a coffee or something?" I ask quietly.

"Yeah, I was. You want something?" He starts to walk and I follow him over to the front counter.

"Harry," I heard Niall behind me. He grabs my arm and turns me around. "What are you doing?"

"I'm gonna go talk with my teacher."

Niall gives Mr. Tomlinson a certain look and then looks back at me with the same one. It's a frown mixed with something else. "Harry, I don't think you should be hanging around him."

"Why not?"

"Because...I saw the way he was looking at you the first day he came to the school. It's just...Harry, you're my friend and bad things have been happening to you, and I don't want him to–"

"He would never!" My eyes widen and so does Niall's.

Crap...How loud was I?


	11. Improve

Niall looks around him a little and then locks his eyes on me. "Lower your voice, this is your business-not mine."

"Good, I don't have to say it myself." I snapped quietly. I was about to walk over to Louis when Niall steps back in front of me.

"Yes, it's your business, but I'm still your friend and I wanna be a good one this time, Harry."

"You wanna be a good friend? Don't make me sit with my rapists." I shove him out of the way without even noticing if it was hard or not.

Louis was standing in the area where he gets his order-or no, this is where anyone could get their order-it hasn't come yet. Crap! I forgot to tell him what I wanted. Wait, why do I need to do that? I'm rich I can afford my own-

"Harold?" I snap out of it and locked eyes with my teacher's ocean blue ones.

"Y-Yes?" I asked dazed.

"Did you hear me?" his brows were knitted together so either he said something important or he's curious to why I was probably staring at him like this the whole time looking confused, and staying silent.

"I'm so sorry." I shook my head feeling a little bad.

"Were they bullying you? You can tell me-I'll handle it right now."

My eyes widen and the word 'no' was repeating in my head a hundred times.

"T-They weren't bullying me, I just-..Just didn't wanna be around them." My eyes were down at the ground.

"I sensed that. It's why I pulled you away."

I didn't look up at him, my eyes stayed where they were. I felt a tingle inside of me hearing that 'he pulled me away'. I wish that's what happened-having him touch me-

"Harold, _please_." I snapped my head up at Louis who looked sad and pleading.

"Mr. Tomlinson..I'm fine. No one's bothering me." It hurt to lie like that. My teacher didn't look as if he believes me. He's doing that thing a parent does when they stare into your eyes trying to find the lie. Thank God it ended when some woman called his name to grab his order.

I watched him step away from me to go collect the items, then shortly we started heading towards the door....

"Awe, come on, Harry, you're not serious are you?" both Mr. Tomlinson and I turned our heads to face Erik. "What, cause he's older you'll let him hit it once and then be all over him, but with me and my buddies you wanna avoid-"

"Oh my God." my voice cracked and rushed out of the glass door.

 

** Louis **

 

I was gonna call Harry's name as he was leaving, but I was too late-he's gone off somewhere.

"Erik, what the hell!?" The blonde one yells at his friend.

"What, it's not my fault he's a slut." he starts laughing and I hear the other boys far at the table start laughing.

I placed the tray of two ice coffee's on the nearest table. "Hey, Erik." I watch him turn around still laughing...He wasn't laughing after I swung as hard as I could at his face.

While his friends were getting up to come over to him, I grab the coffees and headed out to find Harry.

*

I was sitting in my empty geometry class trying to understand what those boys meant. Well, Erik was the only one who said something while his friends laughed, but still...What he said wasn't true. Harry isn't that type of person. He's too shy...he's too fragile and delicate. It's not possible he had group sex with a bunch of-

I closed my eyes hearing the bell ring. It's time for Harry's last two short classes with me...I think I'm gonna do a new activity today. Not in geometry I meant theater!

I hear the door open and students are coming in talking and horse playing as usual. I kept my eyes on the door though waiting for Harold to show...six students later and no one else shows. My stomach clenches at the thought of Harry wondering upset about what those assholes said.

I look away from the door and heavily sigh... "...Class?" Everyone stayed loud and talk time. "Class!" Everyone was silent and focused on me. "...Since today is a half day," I scanned the room seeing the boys that hurt Harry. "You'll spend this period studying for an exam tomorrow that's eighty percent of your grade," I said bitterly.

Everyone in the class protested and yelled at me.

"So what, you punch me in the face and now you're doing this!? Someone might be a little too-"

"I'd keep quiet if I were you," I warned Erik.

"Screw you, Mr. Tomo-"

"It's Mr. Tomlinson. Say it wrong again and you'll get kicked out of this class. A requirement class. You'll lose points and then your football coach will take you off the team until further notice." I snapped after I stood up.

I walk over to the door. "Get your asses to work." I open the door and step out of it, letting the door slam behind me.

"...That felt good." I smiled to myself.

Anyways, I'm gonna go look for Harry and I think I can guess where he is. His most favorite thing to do and I'm sure most favorite place to go.

In order to get there I walk all the way down the hallway I'm in, open two big doors, walk down three flights of stairs until I reach a hallway I learned only has two arts: Dance and visual.

There was a designed door to enter to get into visual arts that you could just push open without any creaking noise or much force.

The room was colored in clean white with neat areas of people's art. There's sculptures in one area and then an area with art on paper or stands, like drawings and paintings.

That's when I saw Harry. Standing near portraits, a table and paint...He's painting. I stuff my hands in my jeans and slowly walk over to this beautiful area of Harry's drawings-paintings I mean...Why do these pictures look so depressing?

Each one represents something being alone or hurt. If someone else walked in here to see this they wouldn't understand, but I do because I can-...I can relate to it.

Harry quickly turned around to face me once he heard my phone ring loudly.

"Um," I quickly take my phone out of my pocket to see who's calling and then I groan-

"What!?" I think I said it too loud.

"Louis, I've been thinking."

"I want you to leave me alone."

"I still love you, babe, and I wanna work something out."

I stepped away from Harry. "You have a fucked up way of loving someone."

"What do you want from me, baby? I made a mistake. Have you ever heard of giving someone a second chance?"

"You don't deserve a fucking second chance, Kai!" my voice cracked and tears were forming in my eyes.

"Look, can you just listen to me? I'm willing to-"

"I don't wanna hear it!"

"Fine, then! Fuck it and fuck you too! I tried to make things right but never mind now. Enjoy your fake life-I hope you get caught and go to jail for a false."

I scoffed. "You know, you use to be a good man-"...he hung up on me. I heard the noise-he fucking hung up on me.

"L-Louis?'

I blinked a few tears come out of my eyes. My lips are trying to curve after hearing Harry say my name, but I didn't smile. I just turned to see his face. It looks pink and puffy as if he was crying.

"W-W-Was-...Was that.. _him?_ Your ex?" His voice was quite and cracked.

I stared at him in silence. I start to slowly walk over to one of the paintings Harry drew.

"You uh..drew this right?"

"...Yes."

The painting had only three colors. Black, red and purple. Most of the picture was black which I enjoyed a lot. It represents loneliness or individuality.

"Explain this to me." Not that I need it, but I want him to talk.

"Um...It's just a drawing."

"You mean pointing."

"Yeah, it's just a painting."

"It's not just a painting. If it was a painting then you'd make rainbows and bunnies. What I'm looking at is not just a painting. It's a message...and together it's a story. So, tell me about the story."

"I uh...I really don't want to." his voice sounded more cracked then it was.

I look at him and see that there's tears wanting to come out any second now.

"Have you-" he starts off "...Have you ever had a moment where-" he starts to cry while trying to let out his words. "you just wanna talk-I don't wanna talk."

I move over to Harry and pull him into a hug. He hugs me back while crying hard...

I can finally feel my tears coming out, but I'm not sure anymore what's making me cry. Kai or Harry.  
  


 

**3 Hours Later**

 

**Harry**   
  


 

Mr. Tomlinson and I are in his theater office that's kinda small, but nice and comfy. I mean, I remember this office when I was forced into it by my old theater teacher. I've noticed that Louis made it more comfy and nice in here by rearranging things. To make it more comfortable he brought in all the materials I use to paint my...stories. Louis calls my paintings stories. No one has ever said that-well, the ones who have seen my paintings. Mostly, anyone who sees my stuff doesn't really understand them, but it seemed like Louis has and still does.

Right now it's after school-its been after school for two hours and I've been painting. I thought Louis would talk about theater and Shakespeare, but we've both silent since I had a breakdown. I've been talking in my head about random things.

I thought about my parents and how long they'll be where ever they are, I thought about Red and where she is, and then I thought about that guy that wants money from Zayn, and then I thought about Louis. I'm still thinking about Louis.

I slowly turn my head away from my portrait to see what he's doing and he's leaning on his desk while staring at me. I immediately look away while blushing and biting my lip. I hear footsteps coming closer to me, and then I felt heat behind me which tells me that he's pretty close. My heart starts pounding when he reaches his hand over to pull back the hair on my right side. I close my eyes and bite down harder on some of my lip.

"Turn around." he whispers.

I let go of my lip and gulp before I slowly and tightly try to turn around since he's so close. I can feel his breath hitting me, and it's hot an cold somehow. Maybe he has a mint in his mouth. Maybe-oh my god-he's sliding his hand on my cheek and inside my hair on my left side of my face. We both lock eyes and he steps a bit closer to me. I-Is he gonna kiss me? Am I gonna have my first _real_ kiss?

"I love your outfit, Harold." What? "Your black buttoned shirt looks soft. " he looks down at my shirt and touches it with his free hand. "Your dark skinny jeans make you look perfect, but your face." he looks straight at me. "That's something much better to look at. Something that an audience would love to see while you're performing on stage."

I'm getting so turned off right now.

"Would you like to roleplay with me?"

"Roleplay?"

"Yeah, more like improve. You know what that means, right?" I shake my head. "Improve is when you act without a script. For example, you would say and do what comes from the top of your head."

"Okay," I say quitely just like he's talking. "Can you start."

"Of course," he smirks and then drops it. "Listen," my heart feels like it dropped because I don't know what he's going to say or do. Improve sucks." I understand how your father feels about me. I'm not perfect." he shakes his head. "I'm not a saint and I've made so many mistakes that I ran from them into this.." I can see tears slowly forming in his eyes. Is he gonna do that crying on cue thing? "Into this made up world that I might get arrested for, but...meeting you might change all of that. I could run away with you and-"

"Run away?" I ask in a fake acting way, but kind of cute so I started blushing. I hope I'm doing good with this. "My.. _father_ might kill me for that or..come after us-"

"He won't find us."

"Why are you saying all this?"

Louis knits his brows together a bit and stares at me probably wondering if my question was improve or not.

"I love you. You love me..right?" My eyes widen.


	12. Niall's Party

Mr. Tomlinson laughs while stepping back a bit. "Now you know the struggle with improving. Since there's no script you have to prepare yourself for anything a person might say to you. I told you that I love you and I asked if you felt the same way. You didn't know how to react and you need to." he's smirking at me while my face is blank and confused.

Is he insane? What am I suppose to say to that?

"I'm sorry I failed." I look down away from his stare.

"No, no, no" he steps close to me and lifts my head up to face him. "You didn't fail. You just didn't know what to do or say next." he stares into my eyes for a few seconds and then walks back over to his desk.

"A-Are we done?" I ask quietly.

"Yep. You can continue painting if you want." he sits down at his desk and starts gathering papers. "Are you going to that party everyone's talking about?"

Oh, yeah. Niall's party. I almost forgot...Am I going?

"If not you could come over my place."

What? "What?"

"My place. We could just hang out on my couch and watch action movies."

Why does he keep inviting me to go places? He likes to be alone with me a lot...Is Niall right about what he was saying? Is Louis trying to...No! No, he would never hurt me like that! He's just a teacher that wants to invite his student to his place to watch a movie at night...Lots of teachers asked me the same thing. They force me to go to their place and then...

"...I think I'm gonna go to Niall's party." I cross my arms together.

"Really? No offensive but it doesn't seem like you have friends, so do you really wanna go to that party instead of watching a movie with me?"

His words replay..and replay in my mind until it drifts to that day in junior year when Mr. Jameson had me after school to finish an essay.

I was sitting at a desk in the front row with no one else in the class except Mr. Jameson sitting at his desk either staring at me or typing on his computer. I had my apple earphones in while listening to daily Lana Del Rey, but it was a playlist I made where it was Lana and Digital Daggers. It's just something about their music that just relaxes me-I'm sure not a lot of people would agree.

_I was writing kind of fast because I wanted to go home and sleep. The essay was about what we've learned from a project we did with another person. I hate things like that-it just irritates me to have to write about what we've learned. Why not just give us the A+ and move on with the rest of the year._

_The partner I had was Johnny, the guy who pours milk in my hair to represent something...He hasn't done it since Mr. Tomlinson joined the school, and I'm glad he hasn't done it, but I'll still be waiting and preparing._

_I needed to write one more paragraph until I was finally done with everything, but that's when Mr. Jameson stood up from his desk (i could see from the corners of my eyes) and walks over to my desk._

_I pull one of my earbuds out of my ear gently and I look up at him. "Y-Yes, sir?"_

_"You don't have to finish this essay. I'll just give you the A+" I opened my mouth wanting to say something out of confusion. "Would you like to come over my house? It's a Friday night and I'm all alone. I have all these movies with no one to watch them with."_

_I blinked at him like a deer in head lights. The man was gorgeous don't get me wrong on that, but he's still a grown man and I was just seventeen years old. I was nervous to just go to his house and I knew why he was asking, so I turned down the offer._

_Mr. Jameson didn't look too happy at those words. "Get up. We're leaving," he says sternly and walks over to his desk to put his jacket on and pack up his things._

_My stomach was churning and I was feeling a little scared. Not a little I was just scared._

_"Unless you're leaving you shit here, start packing up." he says to me while zipping his business bag._

_I slowly started to put everything in my back bag and I stood up from my desk. I slid my phone into my pocket and wrapped my earphones up to put them in a safe place._

"Harold?"

My eyes slowly wander off to Mr. Tomlinson. "...I'm sorry, sir. I wanna go see my friend." I look away from him and walk out of the door not even caring if I left my stuff in there.

I just can't keep making the same mistakes...

 

** Niall **

 

I'm sitting on my bed trying to finish the rest of my daily homework while my idiot friends are setting up the for the party downstairs. Luckily, my parents aren't home today or tonight-which is why I chose Friday to have the party.

I wouldn't say that I'm a party person, but I decided to throw this one for two reasons: Everyone loves going to jock's parties and I need to privately talk to Harry. Yes, parties aren't Harry's thing either-at least not anymore-but it's the only way I could get him to come over my house.

He might feel a little scared that he'll be in a house filled with people that have either touched him or just abused him, but I hope he comes early so he won't have to walk through that.

Which reminds me...Maybe I should call him to come over now...I wonder if he's still made at me for what I said in the cafe. I'm just looking out for him. I don't want him to get hurt anymore.

"Niall!"

"Jesus!" I got startled by Liam jump scaring me. I threw my books and papers away from me with aggressiveness. "What!?"

He's laughing at me. "He's here. Can I ask why?"

"Harry? He's here?"

"Yeah, why?"

"How long has he been down there-what did you guys do?" I asked while quickly getting out of my bed and walking past Liam out of the door.

"Relax, we didn't touch him." I hear him say following behind me down the stairs.

After I reached the bottom and quickly walked into the living room to see if anyone was in here and no one was there. "Liam, where the hell are they?" I walk past him to get into the kitchen. They're not in there either so I opened a door into the dining room.

Harry was sitting around the long dinner table with Erik sitting on the table near him and the other doing the same; either sitting on the edge of the table, behind Harry or standing next to him.

"What's going on here?" I stepped in slowly while looking at everyone. Harry doesn't look at me but the others do.

"Ni, can I something straight with you?" Erik asks with a serious expression-which is a first, he's always joking around. "What the fuck is your deal?"

"Excuse me?"

"For some reason, you think that we're retarded and can't comprehend the shit you say to us."

"Where is this coming from?" my arms were crossed and my eyes kept looking at Harry then back at Erik.

"We're your friends. We're a team. Being a team means loyalty. You begged us not to hurt _your_ friend Harry right here because you love and care for him, right? Okay, once again we're not fucking stupid. We understood what you said and we haven't hurt him since cause of that loyalty we have."

"Where are you going with this, Erik?" my tone sounded irritated.

"We were making small talk with him and it happened to land on 'Why are you here?'. He said why he was here and it pissed us off. It mostly pisses me off. You want him here early so he won't have to deal with everyone at the party? What kind of friend are you?" he starts laughing at his own question. "What kind of friend doesn't encourage their friend to face his fears and problems."

"You know what, Erik, don't you dare talk down to me. You're nothing like a friend so don't tell me what kind of friend I am. I don't care if we're apart of the same team or have 'loyalty' towards each other because we honestly don't. You knew Harry was friend since freshmen year and yet you still joined everyone in the hate. Where was the loyalty then?"

"Exactly, where was the loyalty? Your friend was being hurt everyday since that video was leaked and you just did nothing. You joined the football and never turned back to Harry again. Now that high school is almost over you wanna be best friend of the year." he jumps off the table. "You're so full of shit. I apologized to Harry. I hope he forgives. I'm not gonna bother him anymore cause he's your friend now and I wanna respect your wishes since we're team mates." he gestures for the other guys to follow him out of the dining room into the kitchen.

Liam was still standing in the same spot and Harry was sitting in the same position. I was staring at him waiting for eye contact but was staring off into space at the table top. In the corner of my eye I saw Liam walk over to the chair that's next to Harry and sits. Now my eyes are on both of them.

"If you want, I'll make sure me and the rest of the guys will protect you from all the teachers and hypocrite peers." he was talking to Harry and I frowned at his words. "Not only are we doing this because you're friends with Niall, but we're also doing it cause this shit has been going on for too long now. The video wasn't even that serious-I'm pretty sure all the sluts at school make the same ones."

I look at Harry waiting for a response just like Liam is...he isn't saying anything...

"Hey, you listening?" Liam asks.

"Haz, you're starting to scare me. When are you gonna talk?" I ask while walking over to sit on the other side of him.

"....I don't think my peers even care to touch me anymore...I think now it's just the sick adults." he finally says quitely. "Do you guys remember Mr. Jameson?"

"Yeah, wasn't he your old geometry teacher?" I ask him.

"Yeah, he was..." he stays silent again...What is he thinking about?

"So...what do you wanna do? You could go home if you want-"

"Niall, come on." Liam's tone was annoyed. "He's going to stay and face everyone."

"Is staying in your room an option?" Harry looks at me.

"...Whatever you want, I guess." he looks away from me back to the table. "How are you gonna eat or-"

"I'll go get myself food and a drink every now and then."

"Haz, don't you just think it's better if you go home?"

"For God sakes, Niall!" Erik comes back into the room while laughing. "Why not just say 'Harry, I don't want people to know that we're friends again. They might not like me anymore.'"

"Fuck off, Erik." I snap.

"No, you fuck off! You don't want Harry around everyone for a reason! You only wanted him upstairs so he'll be around you but not everyone else to save you embarrassment! And even if you do want Harry around everyone else it'll proabably be because of that black chick you like!"

"Whoa. She has a name." I say with wide eyes.

"If I don't know a person's name I identify them by what's obvious-don't change the subject!"

"Red? Are you talking about Dominique?" We all look at Harry as he was talking with curiousity.

"Yeah, that's her." I answer.

"I don't think she's black. I rhino she's mixed." Liam adds randomly.

"What the hell are you talking about!?" I said looking towards Erik not wanting the conversation to go into race.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about! Ever since that girl told you off for what we did to Harry, you now wanna be nice to Harry and you want us to be nice! You just wanna get fucking laid!"

"Son of a-Harry is my best friend and I want him to live a normal life again! He has nothing to do with my crush for-"

"Usually, men dangle children around the woman to get em, but you dangle a helpless slut." Erik laughs while leaving the dining room.

I looked at Harry when he stood up. He walks out of the dining room towards the living room. Shit.  
  


 

**Louis**   
  


 

"I have some good news" my roommate Zayn says while walking into the living room of the apartment. "Uh, remember my brother?"

"Never met him." I reply flatly who\ile staring at the TV screen watching Netflix.

"I know you never met him." He sounded like he rolled his eyes before he had an attitude with me. "But, do you remember me mentioning him?"

"Yes, Zayn, yes-damn" I'm starting to get annoyed cause I'm watching my favorite show he's interrupting.

He snatches the remote out of my hands and pauses the show. "He's not mad at me anymore."

"Well, I am. Remote, please" I held my hand out but didn't feel anything.

"He said I could move into his mansion until he talks to our parents, asking them if they could please give me my money back."

"That's good...right? I'll have this place to myself."

"You'll be able to pay the rent?"

"I'm a teacher, Zayn."

"No, you're not. You're pretending to be a teacher, just like you pretended to work at that business office with the name of...Duncan something?" he chuckles at me.

"I should have never told you."

"But, you did and you should be disappointed in you and that's coming from me."

"Why should I be disappointed in trying to start over with my life?" I looked at Zayn

"Because you shouldn't run away from your problems and you could get fucking arrested if you get caugh."

"I'm not running from my problem! If I was running from it don't you think I'd live far away from that Twinks place!?"

"I don't know and never actually did know what to think of you these past few months I've known you. You drove over to Twinks that night I was there and you didn't tell me why."

"I was going to pick you up."

"Bullshit, you didn't know I was going until I told you."

I rolled my eyes. "It's none of your business why I went over there."

"...What is your goal with all of this?"

"With all of _what?"_

"Do you still love him? Is that why you went over there? To see him-"

"I went over there because I went over there!" I shouted while standing up.

Zayn smiles at me and starts laughing which really pisses me off. "You're wondering if Kai found a new twink boy toy, so you drop by there to maybe check in and see. Wow."

"Fuck you." I walk away from him into my bedroom.

...He's not wrong...  
  


 

**Harry**   
  


 

It was about seven at night and I'm up in Niall's guest room laying on the bed, listening to the thumping of the music downstairs.

There were tears coming out of my eyes earlier, but I think it stopped about five minutes ago. I keep replaying that conversation hours ago in my head and it's making me feel more bad about myself.

Is Erik telling the truth? Is Niall only being nice to get a girl or does he really wanna be a good friend? I should leave and go home but something keeps telling me to stay and do what Liam told me to do: Go downstairs and face everyone with confidence...Sadly, I don't find myself doing it. I'm still laying here on this really comfortable guest bed. So comfortable that my eyes were getting heavy. No, I don't wanna fall asleep, I wanna stay up and think.

I sit up on the bed and start examining the dark room. There's no light on in here except the light coming from the window, but that doesn't have much effect. I look around me on the bed at the comforter I;m sitting on. Maybe I could just crash here. I'm sure no one's going to bother me.

I jump a little when the guest door opens. It's probably a couple trying to find a room-

"Hey, you mind if I come in?" it was Liam opening the door and looking at me

"Yes," I say quietly and grab a pillow to clutch in front of me.

"I'm not gonna hurt you." he continues to step in while closing the door. "I just wanted to see if you were okay or if you wanted a drink or..if you wanted to talk." I notice the red cup in his hand and he comes over to the bed to sit.

"Did you spike it?"

"Stop being so paranoid. Just drink it, it might make you less on edge. And why the hell is it so dark in here?" he looks around probably for a light.

"Your eyes will adjust." I say while taking the cup out of is hand. I could feel my heart starting to pound and my stomach churning, so I'll wait a bit before drinking any of this beer.

I look down to stare inside the cup while he talks. "Whatever...Are you gonna come downstairs?"

"No..."

"Then why are you here?"

I shrug. "...I guess I've been waiting for Niall to walk in and talk to me. It's been hours."

"He doesn't think you wanna talk."

"So why did you come up here then?" I asked quietly as usual. "Tell me the real reason."

There's silence in the room except the thumping of the music downstairs. I look up from the dark cup at Liam's dark face and he was staring at me...It's a good thing he can't see me blushing.

"I'm starting to see something in you I haven't seen before," he says in a way that makes me curious. "Look, don't tell anyone-not that you will but I'm secretly bi, and when I...hurt you that night with the others I kinda felt something."

Is that something guilt because you should be feeling that...wait, he's bisexual? Well, aren't all of them considering they raped a _guy?_ I don't understand the world I live in.

"I think I like you. And I feel really bad about hurting you that night...I've never asked this before, but could you forgive me?"

I stared at his face trying to see his features through the dark but it just plays tricks with my eyes because I could see these colorful lights that fade away and then apear again. I hate those eye tricks honestly.

"I don't know...I don't think I can."

"That's fine. I totally get it...Let's have our own party. I don't want you to sit here lonely and bored." he stands up from the bed and walks over to the wall near the door and turns on the light.

I put my head down and close my eyes cause of how bright that light was. Eventually, I look around the really nice room and let my eyes adjust.

"I'm gonna go downstairs and grab a few snacks and drinks." I watched him look over at a flat screen TV in the corner of the room. "And I'm gonna ask Niall if he has AT&T or Frontier cable so we could watch Netlfix." he walks out of the room.

...Am I dreaming?...  
  


~-~  
  


I'm feeling like myself again. I've drank about six cups of beer with a few swigs of Jack, and I'm feeling like myself again. I'm drunk as fuck. I can't really think straight, and I feel like myself again. I feel like myself again! I start laughing while falling on the bed and getting a bit of liquor on me. I hear Liam start to laugh at me and he jumps bed next to me. I think he's just as drunk as me.

There's snack wrappers or filled opened bags on the ground with some beer cans and red cups, Netflix is on the flat screen and we're not even watching it. I think...Um, I think that...Shit, I can't think. The show or movie that's on the flatscreen is um...It has a female in it..with other people I don't know or I might know that look pretty.

"Oh my God," I turn on my side to face Liam better. "We should _totally_ play a board game or just a game game..game." I start chuckling and he chuckles with me.

"What kind of game do you wanna play?" he asks me _seductively_ while getting really close to where our groins are pressed together.

He is really fucking hot and now he's making _me_ hot. "Let's play...take you shirt off." I say a little bit innocently and seductively at the same time.

"Alright," Liam sits up and takes his shirt off showing his soft and ripped abs making my really hard.

I bit my lip while staring at his body hungrily. "Now take your pants off."

"No, you take your pants off."

I sit up and pin him on the bed then climb on top of him. "I wanna know how big you are." I start unbuckling his pants.

"You don't remember?' he had a sly smile on his face.

"Remember what? I've never seen what you look like before." I pulled down his pants to his thighs and then ripped down his navy blue boxers and stare at him.

"What's the problem?" he asks with a frown.

I smirk at him. "The problem is is that I can't fit it in my mouth, but I know another area where it could fit." I sit up on him and start unbuttoning my pants.

"I don't wanna be in this position. I want you under me," he says while sitting up while his legs are in between mine.

"You mean doggy style?" our lips were pretty close to one another.

"That's what I want." he leans in and kisses me. I couldn't help but tease him, and let go while getting off of him to properly take off my pants.

I think the only thing that sucks about all of this is that I was too drunk to remember to lock the door...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haven't posted the next chapter yet on WattPad so it's coming soon on both websites xx.


	13. Nobody's Home

** An hour later **

** Niall **   
  


"I should seriously kick your ass, Liam." I say to him as he continues to drink water to sober up.

We're sitting near the kitchen sink still in my house that's now empty of people except Harry and Dominique upstairs.

"For what? It wasn't rape–we were having consensual sex."

" _Not_ if he's drunk." I grind my teeth.

"That's bullshit." He slams down his bottled water on the dining room table that's filled with empty beer cans and snack wrappers, along with cigarette buds. "What's wrong with Harry having a little fun?"

"It's not about that. Now most of the senior class knows about him riding your fucking dick and is going to give him a harder time."

"It's not his or my fault a bunch of assholes decided to barge into the room." He grabs the bottke and takes another sip of Polar Springs. "Besides, I'm gonna get a hard time too since people clearly saw I _wasn't_ hurting him, that I was having fun too. No one knee I'm bi." he drinks more of the water.

I'm shaking my head. "I don't give a fuck what happens to you, Liam, I care about what happens to him."

"Some friend you are." He mumbles.

"Screw you, Liam! You got what you wanted and now–"

"I'm gonna ask Harry out on a nice date."

My eyes widen...

"What?"

"I like him, Ni, and I'm gonna ask him out to a nice dinner at a nice place...He deserves it."

I'm speechless...He likes Harry? After one drunken sex with him? The fuck is going on? Liam doesn't like anybody–bisexual or not he's just not the relationship type. He wants to play football and get a scholarship for it. He doesn't wanna tie himself down to someone–he just fucks 'em and leaves...Maybe he's still drunk?

"Li...You can't be with him."

"And why not?" He snarled.

"Cause I won't allow you to break his heart. It's already damaged and is gonna take wonders to heal. You're gonna take him out on that date thinking you have real feelings for him, and then you realize you don't love anybody and dump him somewhere. Then, I'd have to kill for that. Alright–it's bad enough Harry is playing teachers pet. I already have to deal with that."

"Do you hear yourself?" He starts laughing at me. "You sound pathetic. You never gave a rats ass for Harry's protection and now look at you."

"Niall?" Dominique appear near the kitchen door.

I looked at her and I started feeling nervous. I hate my emotions. "Yeah, what's up?"

Liam laughs more. "She's the reason you're acting like bullshit.

"Harry is ready to leave." Thank god she ignored Liam's rude comment.

"Alright, I'll be th–"

"Is Harry near the door?"

"Yeah," Dominique answers moving some hair out of her face. "I think he's still drunk cause he's not acting like himself."

Liam quickly stood up and left the kitchen. Now I'm just pissed cause he obviously wasn't listening to what I was saying.

** Harry **

I was _still_ standing near the front door waiting for slow ass Blondie to take me to my beautiful mansion where I could finish myself off while thinking of that guy's big cock–

"Hey, Harry?"

I quickly turned to meet eyes with the hot guy I was riding an hour ago...or was it ten minutes ago?

"What?" Oops, did I come off to bitchy? I didn't mean to I'm just very impatient and this other guy is taking for fucking ever to move his ass!

"I wanna take you out on a date."

I'm screaming on the inside! I'm laughing my ass off! I don't go on dates! Especially with guys I just had sex with–well half of sex with. Which reminds me, I would really love finish with this guy so I'll say yes to his date and when we're leaving the place in the car I'll make things hot and heavy and we could go somewhere to fuck.

"I would love to. When and what time?" I was smiling a bit from my mental laughing.

"Uh," he wiped his face kind of slowly. I'm guessing he was trying to get sober. "How about tomorrow night at eight?"

I shrug. "Okay."

"Where do you live?"

"In a big ass mansion on the rich side of town. Just tell me what kind of car you drive and I'll go to it while you're grooming at all the fine riches of the street."

"It's a silver Honda."

"I bet." I roll my eyes while turning around and about to walk off. "By the way," I turn a little. "My ass doesn't hurt so you weren't hard enough even when I said harder." I turn back around and start to walk over to my friend's car.

I heavily sigh. "I am not waiting for him to wanna bring me home...I could call a taxi or someone else...Ah, Louis." I dig in all my pockets looking for my phone. It was in my right back pocket. Weird. I usually put it in my left.

I unlocked my phone using my finger print and then I started looking through my contacts. "...Do I even have his number?...Shit, I don't think I do."

I look away from my phone thinking of a way to try and contact my teacher. I could be a loser and email him but I don't have his email in my phone. I do have a school app to keep track of my boring grades and I think it has teacher info...Why wouldn't I get my teacher's number? He's hot.

"Harry, we're leaving. I'm taking you home." I look up to see Niall walking out of his house and over to his car.

"Now goldilocks wants to put a prep in his step?"

He furrows his brows at me. "It's pep not prep and just tell me where you live." He gives a certain look. "Wow, I've been your friend for a long time and I never knew where you live. How come you never told me?" He opens the drivers seat door.

"I have no idea why I never told you, but I live on the rich side of town." I smile. "I'm a millionaire."

Niall's eyes widen in surprise. "You're not a millionaire. You're still obviously drunk. God I hate when you get like this with alcohol or drugs in your system. Get in the-"

"Get like what?" I asked defensively. "I'm being myself."

"This isn't you. This is your drunk you now get in the car."

"No, my boyfriend is taking me home." I start to chuckle. "My bad. He's not my boyfriend. He's my teacher friend. He obviously wants me." I turn and start walking away.

"So you are trying to get with Mr. Tomlinson!?" I stopped walking and turned around to see Niall looking angry. "Harry, what the hell is wrong with you-aren't you dealing with enough shit from people!? Does he even know what's happening to you!? Does he even care!?"

"...He knows nothing. He loves his work..and me. That's all he clearly worries about..is me. I remember the first day I met him. We were on the stairs and I thought he was gonna make me suck him off for spilling his coffee on him, but he was gentlemen and still is." I sound pretty cocky but I don't give a fuck. Niall needs to mind his own business.

"You think this is a joke? You're going to get yourself really hurt."

"How? Seriously, tell me how I'm gonna get hurt by being around a man that is cute and adorable and annoying loves his Shakespeare."

"Get in the car, Harry. I'm gonna get you something to eat and drink to try a sober you up cause this kind of you right now is pissing me off."

I roll my eyes, turn back around and keep walking away. I'll just walk home. I don't need anyone to take me. I can do things on my own.

*

Even after I said I could do things on my own, I still emailed Louis by finding him in that school app on my phone. Surprisingly he replied back after two minutes. Who the hell checks their emails-seriously.

Well, he picked me up and he was driving me to my mansion, but I started feeling...I started feeling depressed and alone as soon as he stopped in front of my place. I couldn't tell if it was the music I'm listening to or if I don't wanna be alone. The song I'm listening to is _Nobody's Home_ by Avril Lavigne and it's one of the songs I always listen to when I feel the need to...hurt myself...I didn't want the song to play at this moment but it just came on and now I feel sick to my stomach.

"Harold?" I heard Louis soft voice call out...I look at him and turn down the song a bit. "Are you gonna give me my earphones back and head inside your place?" he joked a little while smiling adorably.

_She wants to go home. But Nobody's Home. It's where she lies. Broken inside!_

I felt warm tears start to slowly form in my eyes. Everytime Avril uses the words she or her, I just think of the words he or him.

_He's lost inside. Lost inside. Oh-oh._

I look away from Louis and rip the earphones out of my ears, detach them from my phone and accidently throws them at him. Shit, I didn't mean to do that. I opened the door hard and slammed it shut.

"Whoa, whoa-hey." I looked back at Louis. "What did I say? I was playing around-what's wrong with you? You haven't talked the whole ride. What happened at the party?"

I felt like crying like a baby in front of him but at the same time I didn't want to. I guess my eyes don't care what I want because I felt the warm to hot tears stream down my cheeks.

"My head hurt and I wanna get sober. I drank a lot at that party-God, my head hurts!" I place my hands on my head that's starting to pound like crazy.

"Okay, okay. Get back in the car. Let's go to some fast food place to cool off."

"You, me and restaurants are bad luck, remember?" I open the door and get back in the car. "I turned you into your own food plater."

Louis laughs which makes my stomach feel even more funny. Why is my stomach acting like this. I place my hand on it while frowning. "That wasn't your fault. That women tripped and dropped the plates of food on me, and all you did was spill a little water on me...Harold, you alright?"

Nope. I open the door and threw up on the curb. I hate myself. I minus well put that song back on. It's the story of my life.  
  
  


❅  
  
  


** Louis **

I'm smirking while watching Harry sleep next to me in my bed. He looks so adorable with some of his soft hair in his face, his soft breathing, his skin looking soft in the somewhat yellowish room. He just looks so innocent and just so beautiful. How could he not be in a relationship with someone and how does he get bullied in school?

I start to slowly caress his cheek and then his hair that's in his face. His skin is soft and so is his hair. He's like a little baby. He could be my little baby. He cries like one and it's so cute. Last night he was upset about something so we ate and I bought him some medicine. He was leaning on my shoulder in my car in front of CVS crying like a baby over something he didn't seem to want to tell me. Then, we came to my flat and he just fell asleep. Mostly because I gave him benadryl to make him feel better after throwing up.

I woke up at about seven in the morning and I couldn't stop staring at Harry ever since. Who could resist watching someone sleep this adorably?

"What a fucking pervert." My eyes move up to Zayn standing near the door frame with a can of beer in his hands. "What's my cousin doing here?"

"Shhh. He's sleeping." I whisper a little. "He was upset and drunk so I brought him here to rest."

"He hates my guts. When he wakes up and sees me I don't wanna hear his mouth."

"Then, go away...And what did you do to him that he hates you? You still haven't told me that."

"None of your business. Just make sure he leaves when he wakes up."

I scoff. "You're moving out of here soon so I'll have company here as long as I want. _And_ I pay the rent so shoo." I look down at Harry shifting himself and making a soft sound.

"I'm moving out in two days. Good luck being here. I honestly hate this flat." I rolled my eyes as Zayn walks away from the door frame. "And stop hovering over him! It's gross!" I smirk at that and decide to get out of the bed when Harry shifts more. He's waking up and I don't want him to be freaked out. I walk over to the window and open the curtains more while scratching my head.

"Louis?" I looked at Harry wrapping himself tighter in the blanket. "Could you give me water and a pill, please?"

"Sure thing. You wanna eat something too?"

"I thought you couldn't cook."

I chuckle. "I have cereal." I start to walk over to the opened door. "Get out of bed and your food, water and pills will be waiting for you at the kitchen table." I walk out of the room, down the hallway, making a left turn into the kitchen while the right is where the living room is.

I grab the cocoa pebbles, a bowl, a spoon and then the milk and sat them all on the counter. I started pouring everything and then sat it at the table, then I went into the bathroom that's down the hallway past the two bedrooms and grabbed the Advil from the mirror cabienet. I walked back into the kitchen to see Harry sitting down looking tired and hung over.

"Here." I sat two pink pills next to the bowl of cereal.

"Where's the water?"

"I was getting to that." I lied jokingly. I walked over to the cabienet to grab a glass cup and poured water in it from the fridge. "Here." I walked back over to the table and sat the glass down on the other side of the bowl.

"Thanks, Louis." He picks up the pills and the glass of cold water.

I smile hearing him say my first name. He says every now and then and I honestly love hearing it come from his mouth. There's times he says Lewis and then he says my actual name Louis. I guess he thinks Lewis is my name and Louis is a nick name he's been giving me...But I don't remember telling him that my name is Lew-

"Louis, can you take me home?"

My heart felt like it stopped. Why does he wanna go home? "Why do you wanna go home?"

He puts a spoon full of cereal in his mouth and chews first before answering me. "Cause I wanna go home. I think I made plans with a guy named Liam last night. Last night is a blur to me but I do remember him asking me out somewhere, and he sounded pretty serious about it so I gotta see what's going on better and get ready for it."

"Liam? Payne-one of my students-one of the guys that was bothering you? You're gonna go out with him? Why?"

He looks at me with innocent eyes. "I don't know. I was drunk last night. I need to call Niall to know what happened."

"I don't want you going out with that guy tonight, Harold," I said sternly.

Harry lifted an eye brow a bit. "I'm sorry. I don't remember the last you were my father. I'll do whatever the heck I want." he cuts me off. "Niall's doing the same crap trying to keep away from a good guy but bringing me around my r-" he stopped himself from finishing that sentence. "You can't tell me what to do and who to hang out with. Remember that you're my teacher. I shouldn't even be here."

"But you are..and I would like for you to stay."

Harry shakes his head while eating more cereal. "...Honestly, Mr. Tomlinson, what's my purpose here? A grown man will only keep a teenager at his place for reasons that aren't sitting at a table eating cereal." he looks at me. "I'm sorry but...I can't stay. I need to call my friend."  
  
  


** Harry **   
  
  


Louis looked a little hurt and I feel so bad, but it's not enough hurt to make me forget about that dream I had. It wasn't even a dream, it felt like I nightmare that was real. It made me realize that I don't need to be trying to get with Louis _ever_...I don't even wanna rememeber the dream.

"Are you gonna drive me?"

He wasn't looking at me. "Yeah, sure...I wish you'd remember last night." he stands up and leaves his kitchen.  
  
  


❅  
  
  


I was standing in my bathroom in front of my mirror waiting for Niall to pick up his phone–he'll be on speaker phone. The phone is sitting on the sink near me. I was rolling up my right arm sleeve and examing my month old healing scars...I open the mirror cabinet and grab my small silver razor.

 _"Hello?"_ Niall's voice sounded low and raspy. He's probably just waking up.

"Hi." I said soft while placing the razor down on the sink and grabbing my extra speaker I keep in the bathroom near the shower.

 _"Harry, are you alright?"_ He asked with his voice sounding curious and not tired anymore.

"I'm fine." I turned on my speaker and Bluetooth it to my iPhone. "I wanna know what happened last night cause it's a blur to me. I woke up in Mr. Tomlinson's bed hung over." I tapped the Spotify icon and went to my Avril Lavigne playlist.

_"...You had sex with him?"_

"No."

_"Thank God...You were upstairs in my room and that's what I knew until almost everyone found you and Liam having drunken sex."_

"I remember I little of that...It was kinda nice, thinking back at the bits and pieces of that night."

"Harry, why are you talking like this is no big deal? People are gonna give you a really hard time after last night. Are you alright today?"

"I just said I'm fine. I just wanna know if Liam really did ask me to go out with him."

"Yeah, he did and I told him not to. I don't want you going out with him."

I scoff softly. "Stop telling me what to do, please. Can you tell me his number so I can talk to him?"

"Harry–"

"Give me his number, Niall," I said sternly.

Niall was silent until I heard a scoff. "You know what, Harry? I'm done. I'm done trying to protect you. Remember what I said a couple of days ago about how it's only your fault you're getting raped day in and day out? Well, I don't regret saying it anymore. You look for danger and I hope you enjoy it–don't fucking come crying to me when you get hurt once again. I'll text the damn number–I don't wanna fucking talk to you anymore." He hangs up on me.

I place my phone down far up on the sink and play one of my favorite songs of Avril while picking up my razor to release the horrible dream from my mind. As the song starts I press the cold piece of metal to my skin. As usual when I hear her use a female pronoun I just think of her using a male one. My pronoun as if she's talking about me metaphorically. As if she sees me trying to find my home and where I belong...Where do I belong cause it's not here in this town or in this mansion.

_Music.....I couldn't tell you, why he felt that way. He felt it everyday._

One small slow cut near my wrist.

_And I couldn't help him. I just watched him make, the same mistakes again._

One other small cut under that one. I examined how they both look even, except the blood coming out of it ruins that shape.

_What's wrong, what's wrong now? Too many, too many problems? Don't where he belongs...where he belongs._

I slowly made a big cut down my arm trying to miss any veins.

_He wants to go home, but Nobody Home. It's where he lies, broken inside...._

I stopped cutting myself....Why does Liam wanna go out with me and why do I wanna go along with it? I want Louis.

 


	14. Jealousy

I walked out of my bathroom with a small towel soaking up the little bit of blood coming out of my arm. I sit on the end of my bed and check to see if Niall texted Liam's number, shockingly he did. I copy the text and place it on a new contact and tapped the call icon.

I hesitantly pressed the phone to my ear and let out a shaky breath waiting for Liam to answer.....voice mail. Great, now I don't have the guts to call back.

I threw the phone to the side of me and lay down on my pillow and let out another shaky breath...If Liam does say he did ask me out then what am I gonna say? When I'm drunk I'm a different person–my old friends back in middle school would tell me that. I remember a girl I was friends with in the eighth grade told me that I act like a seductive cocky prick when I have alcohol in my system, so I can't imagine what I must've acted like last night.

I need to be careful though because the last time I got really drunk was my biggest mistake no one will give me a break for. The video is probably still in everyone's phones or on their computer drives including the teachers. This school sucks because it's one of the highest earning credits but everyone in there are rapists and if I complain then justice won't take my side, just the school's...I can't wait to graduate in a few more months...But what am I gonna do after that? Stay in this mansion forever? Everything is handed to me so I'm not gonna get a job or buy my own house to live in. My parents want me to go to either Harvard or Yale but I don't wanna live in New Haven, and I don't wanna go to snobby Harvard.

I don't know where I wanna go for college–I'm not even sure I want to go! I just wanna run away to where there's no people other than me, myself and...Louis...I wouldn't mind running away with Louis. He won't have to worry about where to live and how he's gonna pay his way–I'll pay his way. I'm rich and he'll be happy with that–who isn't happy with someone with money...But I honestly don't want Louis to only love me for my money. I want him to love me for who I really am. A boy that's lost, that isn't a virgin, that isn't pure, that isn't perfect, that likes to be to himself, that acts completely different when drunk and...I'm talking out of my butt again. After that dream I had of Louis not excepting me for who I am and being so disgusted with me...I don't think my fantasy of him wanting to be with me will ever happen.

I feel like I could cry and never stop until I fall asleep–

My phones starts ringing and I look at the caller ID. It looks like the number I called about five minutes ago. I pick it up and tap the green circle and then place the phone to my ear.

"Liam?" My voice cracked and I closed my eyes feeling embarrassed.

"Hey, Harry. How'd you get my number? I thought you didn't want it." He chuckled.

I blushed and bit my bottom lip staying silent for a bit. "...I said that?"

"Yeah, you did. But I see you have it now so..are we still up for tonight?"

"...I don't know...I don't exactly remember much from last night..cause when I'm drunk I act like this completely different person and–"

"I like that person. He seems real and not closed up and hiding from the world. He's very careless and just wants to have fun and live his fucking life without listening to judgement of hypocrites."

I smirk and blush much more while looking down at my pants zipper. "...I guess he is that type of person...Too bad I can't be like him without drinking."

"But, you can though. You're not bipolar–hopefully. I want you to be that person you were last night without drinking or doing drugs because you have to face the people in this fucked up school and learn how to defend yourself. I'm sure Drunk Harry can throw a punch."

My eye widen. "I didn't hurt anyone last night did I?"

Liam laughs. "No, but that would have been awesome. It's not like no one deserves it."

My eyes go back to normal and I continue to smirk while staying silent cause I don't know what to say to him. I'm oddly nervous. Should I do this? Should I go out with Liam? I want Louis but there's a chance he doesn't want me, and plus Liam's my age while Louis is five years a head of me. Also, it seems Liam is excepting me as I am while Louis barely knows the half of me.

"Harry?"

"Uh, yeah–sorry."

He chuckles. "You're so cute." He continued to chuckle at me. I'm never gonna stop blushing. "I asked if you wanted to hang out now and then I'll take you to some restaurant."

"Um...sure. Where are we gonna go until the dinner?"

"Anywhere you want. You told me last night that you live on the rich side of town and that you'll look for my Honda. I didn't know you were rich."

My eyes are widen. _I told him I'm rich!? Who else did I tell!?_

"Um...you weren't suppose to know about..my living arrangements."

"Well, you told me in confidence so Drunk Harry obviously doesn't care if I know you have millions laying around you."

I look around as if invisible money was around me.

"So, you want me to pick you up now?"

"...Sure. I'll just look for you're Honda. It won't be hard since no one else around here drives that kind of car."

"I don't remember but I think you said those words to me last night." He chuckles more. God, he loves to laugh. "I'll be there soon." He hangs up.

I heavily sigh out of my nose while dropping my phone in my lap...This is weird....I pick my phone back up and look for Louis' number and realized that I never got it. Ugh! How am I gonna apologize to him about this morning?...Email?  
  
  
  


** No one **   
  
  
  


Louis is driving in his car at a somewhat high speed with his sun glasses on and one of his favorite outfits: A gray thin sweater with black skinny jeans and white flat sneakers. He driving on the high way to get to a certain location quicker than driving on a street he's not comfortable on.

He hears his phone ding which tells him he either got a text or an email. He didn't know an email made that sound until Harry emailed him last night. He was gonna give Harry his number but forgot because he got distracted. He doesn't wanna answer the text or email since it scares him a little being on the high way. He doesn't want to crash or accidentally hit someone, so he'll wait until he's at least off of the high way.

Eventually, he does get off the high way but doesn't answer the message since now he's thinking about what he's going to say or do when he's face to face with Kai–his ex boyfriend slash sexual abuser. He gets on a quick street to his location and already sees Spanish people staring him down since he's in a Spanish area.

He quickly parks in front of Twinks and sits there still thinking. The place looks closed because it's day time and Kai is probably getting his slits prepared for another night of sex and dirty dancing. It's nothing Louis missed. He's glad he's out of this hell hole. It scares him to walk in and remember the feeling he use to get while staying in hat building for twelve hours.

But, he sucks it up, gets out of the car with his phone and starts to walk over to the front door. It's locked. Not a problem. He sadly remembers another way to get in. He walks down the side walk a few steps until he's near a fence to his left and jumps over it. He walks over to an emergency door and opens it. They never lock that door even still to this day Louis thought.

Louis steps into the cool low temperature building, looking around at everything in its same place. Same lights, same stage, same bar, same chairs, same lit outlined Twinks on the walls, and the same asshole owner that's walking out of a door with some other man that doesn't look like a Twink.

"Louis, baby, hey!" He shouts from across the room as he sees me stepping in more.

"Coming in the emergency exit as always!" He laughs loud with the guy next to him. "Come here, baby, I want you to meet someone!"

Louis grinds his teeth together hearing Kai call him baby. He slowly walks over to them going near the bar. Kai start to grab three beers from a cooler and sits them down on the bar as his friend sits down. Louis stands near s stool and Kai stays behind the counter while opening his beer glass bottle and gulping some down his throat. Louis couldn't help but wish he'd choke on all the beer going down.

"So, you must be the Louis Kai's always chatting up about."

Louis slowly looks at the guy that's sitting in the stool smirking at him, then he slowly looks at Kai who's looking him up and down. Louis scoffs at them and decides to sit down so there's nothing Kai could stare at.

"Yes, I guess that's me. What are you taking about me for?" He snapped at Kai.

Kai looks into his eyes in that way that always made Louis break down years ago, but he's stronger now and that look doesn't make him soft anymore.

"You were the love of my life, baby. I have to total about you to let out my feelings. My therapist said that it's not good to hold in feelings." He takes a swig of his beer.

Louis cuts his eyes at him. "You have a therapists? Bullshit, you find those things to be a waste of time."

"I did. Until the night you left me. I was broken and needed some help. Like I said, you were the love of my life."

"Awee, isn't that sweet?" The other guy commented while drinking his beer. "Brother, you've always been a bullshitter."

Louis lifted his eye brow while looking at the guy. He's starting not to mind his presence now.

Kai's face expression changed to being annoyed and pissed while looking at his brother Trever. "Fuck you, I'm not bullshitter." He looks at Louis. "I love you. Believe it or not."

"I don't believe it!" Both men looked at Louis. "You ruined my life! You forced me into being a slut in this place! You had your way with me whenever you felt like it! And you abused me!"

"Calm down, babe. You know how you get when you're angry. You grow a pimple."

Trever was shaking his head. "If that's how you love someone then I don't wanna know how you hate him."

Louis looks at Trever. "What's your story? You already made it clear that you're related to this thing."

Trevor looks at Louis. "I'm intelligent, I'm better my little brother, I've broken the male Spanish stereotype, and I came here wanting to take over this Twinks place."

Both Louis and Kai grown at this man.

"The fuck you mean?" Kai asks. "You're not taking over my place."

"What are you going to do with it? Tear it down and make something else?" Louis asks.

"God, no. Twinks can stay but I wanna make this place the way I want it. Better."

"No fucking way, Trev." Kai slammed his bottle down. "You're not having this place. Find another place to take over."

"Here's the thing, Kai. I want to offer you  hundred thousand dollars to let me take this place out of your hands."

"Why can't you go somewhere else?" Kai snaps.

"Because I know how much my little brother loves money."

"Everybody loves money."

"Not as much as you. What do you say?"

"No. Now leave. I wanna know why my baby is here."

"If you call me that one more time–"

"I'll leave for now, but later on I'm gonna come back with two hundred thousand dollars to buy this place." Trever smiles, takes another sip of his beer and heads out of the front door.

Kai watched him all the way out of the door and then looked at Louis mad smiled. "So, baby doll, shy are you here?"

Louis stares at him forgetting why he did come here. He can't get out of his mind the fact that Kai loves him. Does he love him?

"You wanna talk in our room?" Kai walks from behind the counter.

Louis frowns at him. "Hell no. That's a sex room."

"Exactly, baby. I've missed your ass."

"I don't miss your small dick." It wasn't small.

"Come on, Louis. You came here for a reason."

"Yeah and wasn't to ride you." Louis stood up leaving the beer on the counter. "I came here to make a deal with you. I want this Twinks stuff to stop. I don't even want Trevevr to take over if he's not gonna stop this."

Kai rolls his eyes. "The only way I'm giving up this place or burning it down to the ground is if you put ball on this ring–" Kai holds up his left hand with two gold bands on his two middle fingers. "–and marry me. I want to be with you forever, Louis. I want lying about how I feel about you. You're the best things that's ever happened to me. You're the reason I made this place."

"What?" Louis crossed his arms looking confused.

"Yeah," Kai looks around and then back at Louis. "Because of your sexiness I made this place for other men to get pleasure from twinks like you."

"My _sexiness_?" Louis blinked.

"Remember? You always dressed up in all these Victoria Secret little things and danced on that pole for me that I still have in my bedroom. I remember once you tied yourself to the bed and let me do whatever the hell I wanted."

Louis was getting angry. "I was going through a sexual phase cause of how young I was and my hormones. And I regret doing those things with you because you became a sex addict and started taking things too far. Sex wasn't enjoyable for me as time went by in our relationship. Then, you forced me in this place and made me fuck other men and dance for them." Louis felt tears form in his eyes. "You know that friend you saw get in my car?"

"That boy?" Kai smiled with a chuckle that Louis ignored.

"Yeah, he's not really a friend. He's just my student that I sadly have a crush on. I told him about you but I lied and said you finger raped me, got a restraining order on you and moved to America to finish my teaching job."

Kai laughs. "Wow, what a liar. You left this place, put a restraining order on me, went back to England to be with your family and then you came back here to be a teacher? A fake teacher? Why?"

"I don't know! I'm trying to make money since my high school boyfriend had tons of it and I didn't need a job!"

"But..being a fake teacher is illegal and you could arrested for false–"

"I know! Soon I'm moving to Canada but first I need you to make this deal with me. Close this place down for good and I'll give you something in return but not marriage or sex."

"Okay, fine. I'll close this place down after your cute friend works for me for six months. After that money rolls in with his body then I'll burn this place to the ground, and you can watch along with the fire department."

Louis shakes his head slowly. "No deal. Harry will not work here. He's too...he's not fit for this job. No, he's not doing it."

"You're not his father. He can make his own decisions and I talked to him for a while in here. I was trying to fuck him that night but he's hard to get to with all that fake innocent shit."

"You talked to him?" He shakes his head more "No, he's not working with you! I won't allow him! I won't date someone who works here!"

Kai laughs "You wanna date this kid? Why? He's a twink like you–why not date a real man like me."

Louis scoffs about to say something until he hears his phone ding. "Damn it." He takes his phone out of his pocket and looks at the lock screen notification. "It's Harry." He whispered to himself.

Kai was slowly walking behind Louis as he was emailing Harry his number, so it's easier to contact each other just in case Louis deleted his email app because of storage space. Before he was able to go into his messages he felt big strong arms wrap around his tiny waist, then he felt Kai's hot breath on his neck.

"I missed you." He whispered and started to leave soft kisses up and down Louis' neck. His eyes look down at Louis' phone and sees a text notification of someone's number pop up.

Louis tries to not get weak under his touch as Kai started to move his hands all around his legs to his ass. "Y-You need to stop." Louis pushes himself off of Kai. "We need to make a reasonable deal or I'm calling the fucking cops that you have sex slaves."

"They're not sex slaves, baby. They enjoy this job–it's just you that didn't."

"Bullshit. Whenever a boy didn't wanna do anything he'd get beaten or fucked hard for it!"

"No. That only happened to you cause you're the only one stupid enough not to follow instructions. All the other boys here follow the rules just fine."

Louis gives a look. "And you call that love? Fuck you, Kai!" Louis started walking over to the front door. "If you don't shut this place down in a month I'm calling the cops." He swung the door open and stormed out.

Kai laughs and pulls out his phone. "I told him I'll shut it down after I have that adorable little thing." He speaks to himself while taking out his phone and putting in Harry's number he saw in Louis' notification.  
  
  


❅  
  
  


Louis was sitting on his bed while the sun was slowly setting, repetitively reading Harry's text to himself.

**_I'm just really sorry about the way I acted this morning and I also wanna apologize for how I acted last night...I think we should stop hanging out together...It's not normal for me to be around a grown man like you. You're my teacher and I'm your student. I've been gaining feelings for you and it feels dangerous to and I've been having so many nightmares of you - it has to be a sign!...I'm gonna go out with Liam tonight cause that feels normal and safe cause he's the same age as me and he seems really sweet. Not that you're not sweet - Louis you're a great guy but it just feels wrong to get close to you...I think I love you and care about you...Maybe in the future we'll bump into each other and maybe then we could pick up where we left off...besides...you wouldn't wanna be a slut like me anyway. Bye. Love you._ **

Tears had been forming in Louis' eyes, dried away and then came back and then dried away each time he read the text. After the thirtieth time he's read the message is when tears decided to come down. He drops his phone away from him and gets under the covers and lays on his pillow. He doesn't know what to do. He doesn't want to do anything. He just wants to lay here...What if he followed the boys to the restaurant with a date himself to make Harry jealous.

If he were to do that it has to be a person that Harry knows. Maybe even a person that's jealous of Harry. Maybe it should be Kai...

Louis sits up in his bed thinking about all of this. He doesn't wanna go anywhere with Kai, but if it'll make Harry jealous and not want to be with Liam anymore then what does he care...Or he could use someone that'll make Liam stop paying attention to Harry...

Louis reaches for his phone and calls Zayn.

 


	15. Date Night

Zayn's groaning while putting on a black dress jacket over a white t-shirt standing in front of Louis' full body mirror.

"Stop your babying." Louis walks out of the bathroom smelling shower clean. He takes off his towel and puts on underwear he hasn't worn in years. His red lace panties...

Zayn glances at him, looks back at himself in the mirror and then quickly looks back at Louis with wide eyes. "Where'd you get those from and why are you wearing them? We're not doing anything tonight other than making Harry jealous."

Louis rolls his eyes while looking at Zayn. "They're not for you." He grabs a baggy black sweatshirt from his closet that use to belong to Kai. He secretly still has little feelings for the man he fell in love with in high school. So, he stole two of Kai's sweatshirts the day he left him. He likes it. It doesn't fit him. It makes Louis look tiny and Kai always said it looks sexy when he'd wear something that's too big on him. The sleeves go past his fingers except for the tips. The long part of the sweatshirt goes past his hips. The design on the shirt in the front says _Fuck Life_ in cursive. It was the only shirt Louis loved to see Kai wear and it still has his cologne on it. The second shirt has the same writing but it's white.

"You're planning on sleeping with him tonight?" Zayn finishes getting his clothes together and now he's fixing his hair.

"...I don't know. I just wanna look good...If he wants to do anything tonight after I get him away from Liam, then yes..I'll sleep with him tonight." Louis feels his cheeks getting hot and they're starting to look pink. "I'm not sure if he's the type to rush into things but...I don't know."

Zayn shakes his head a little bit. "Well...I'm glad you're trying to get with him. I think you'll be good for him. He needs maturity in his life and honestly. Something you're not doing so well. I'm pretty sure Harry doesn't know about you working at Twinks when you were nineteen to twenty-one."

Louis stays silent for a few seconds. "I'll tell him when I'm confident enough...and thanks..for excepting us. Not that it's up to you whether we date." Louis smirks at Zayn.

"So, what exactly am I doing?"

"Flirting with me - touching, kissing - anything that'll get Harry's attention. Then, you're going to make Liam take his attention off of Harry."

"How the hell am I gonna do that? You do know I'm not gay, right?"

"You told me a story about some drug dealer you slept with to get weed, and your family wasn't okay with that so that's why they took away all their money from you and kicked you out of their lives. You went to go live with that drug dealer but the guy kept abusing you so you stole thousands of dollars from him and bought this apartment. One year later, I'm here."

Zayn stays silent."

Louis finds dark skinny jeans and puts them on. "If you can kiss and touch me then what's the problem with letting an eighteen-year-old flirt with you?...Zayn!"

"I told you to never bring that story up to me." He looks at Louis. "Because of that guy, I'm trying to change...Trever was my first gay love and will be my last. I'm not flirting with that kid tonight." Zayn turns back to a mirror to finish fixing his hair.

Louis was frowning while staring at Zayn's back. "Trever? The guy's name is Trever?"

"Yeah." Zayn snapped. "His cousin is Snap. the one I owned money to but my brother paid it off already."

"Is his full name Trever Rivera?"

Zayn stopped what he was doing and turned around to look at Louis. "..How'd you know that?"

"Cause he's Kai's brother...I just met him today. He's planning on buying Twinks." Louis was speaking softly and bit his lip.

Zayn doesn't say anything else, he just leaves the bedroom and soon Louis heard the front door slam.

"Okay, then."  
  
  


A half an hour later Louis finally finished getting himself ready and hopped in Zayn's brother's car. He sighs while looking at his friend. "...You alright?"

"Let's not talk until we get to the restaurant." Zayn snaps before quickly pulling off.

"I feel out of place," Liam comments while being lead to a table by Harry's hand.

"Don't." Harry turns his head to look back at him. "You look stunning so people won't notice your not rich." He turns back around to sit in his seat at their table.

Liam sits down after him and keeps looking around at everyone. "Thanks...but it doesn't change how I feel."

Harry playfully rolls his eyes and reaches over the table with his hand open. Liam notices from the corner of his eye and looked down at it. He smirks and places his hand on top of Harry's. "Focus on me and not everyone else." Harry bites his bottom lip while smirking.

Liam furrows his brows a little while smiling. "Did you drink anything before we came here?"

Harry shakes his head. "No, why?"

"You're being touchy."

"Hello, here's your menu's. Sorry, it took a while." A man placed down two black and gold menu's down in front of each of the boys.

Harry winked at Liam and let's go of his hand to grab his menu. "Excuse me, sir?" He looks up at the man with green innocent eyes. "Could we get two glasses of wine...free?" Harry bites his lip on purpose.

Liam frowns at Harry without his smile.

"Um," the man clears his throat while trying to not smile or smirk. "We can't give free drinks–but the wine cost about–"

Harry stops biting his lip and gives the man a sad look. "I-I'm so sorry–I didn't mean to–its just all I can afford is the meal we're about to have and I really need a drink." He makes his voice crack.

Liam's eyes widen.

"Oh, um, you know what–free wine will come. Just..hold on." The man tries to cover his erection while walking away from the table.

Harry laughs and looks at Liam. "That guy always falls for it. He has a rape kink so whenever I act all like he just hurt my feelings, he gets horny and gives me what I want hoping that I'll let him fulfill his rape fantasy...What–why are you looking at me like that?"

"Who the fuck are you right now?" Liam couldn't hold in his laugh.

"I'm not drunk or high if that's what you think." Harry opens his menu.

"Then what was all that about?"

"Just me being me when I don't wanna spend two hundred dollars on wine." He eyes Liam and notices that he's still looking at him weird. "Look, Liam, I'm not innocent. I'm not an angel. I'm just as bad as any other bad person." He shrugs. "I just don't show it in front of everyone. You make me comfortable to show my true colors."

"So, once you get a few glasses of wine in you, will there be a drastic change?" Liam picks up his menu.

"For the better." Harry winks at him again and then covers his face with the menu while laughing with Liam.

"What are we going to do after this expensive dinner?"

Harry slowly moves the menu from his face showing him biting his lip again. "Maybe we can..make love?"

"Make love?" Liam chuckles.

"Yeah." Harry smiles. "We already had wild sex so why not do it romantically this time?"

"Whatever you want, babe." Liam reaches his arm out on the table and Harry takes it while blushing.

"I want it slow and hard. Missionary. No condom. No clothes...No sheets. Not even foreplay. Just–"

"I'm gonna jizz my pants– _stop_." They both chuckle. "Talk like that after the dinner."

"You can totally jizz in my mouth tonight."

Liam stopped laughing and looked at Harry seriously. "...These tables have clothes on them."

"Okay,"

"No one can see under them..."

"You're right. So?" Harry knew what Liam was trying to say, but wanted to tease him a little more.

"Can you please get and fixed the problem you just cause?"

Harry chuckle while covering his face again with the menu. "No, good things come to boys who wait." He pulls it away showing his red cheeks and long hair a little in his face.

"You're so beautiful. Especially tonight."

"Shut up." Harry started to focus on his menu while thinking about the clothes he put on before coming out tonight. He's wearing a black buttoned shirt, dark skinny jeans, his favorite black boots, and his expensive rings. Liam looks more dressed down in his suit and tie–it turns Harry on.

"Are you sure this is the place?" Zayn whispers near Louis while stepping into the restaurant.

"Yeah, it's bougie." Louis chuckled out. "Now pay up." He walks over to the counter.

"What do you mean pay up?" Zayn's asks with a frown.

"You're paying for this, not me." Louis looks at him.

" _Why me_?"

"Because you have your brothers money."

"What can I do for you two gentlemen?" A man asks staring at them the whole time.

Louis and Zayn both look at him at the same time. "Obviously we need a table for two." Zayn snaps.

"Zee," Louis looks at him again.

"What, why else are we standing here?"

"You don't have to be rude–are you really upset about–"

"Fuck off, Louis."

"Excuse me?"

"Um, there are no tables open at the moment. Sorry." The man says awkwardly.

The boys look back at him and then look out at people seated and can clearly see some tables empty. "There's fucking tab–I'm really not in the mood for this shit."

"Just hush." Louis turns and smiles at the man behind the counter. "Are those tables over there reserved seats or something?"

"Yes," the man smiles.

Louis nods. "Okay, well we won't take long."

"I'm sorry..but I can't seat you at a reserved table."

"If I hit him maybe he'll seat us," Zayn suggests looking at Louis.

Louis' smile is gone. " _You're_ not doing that." He looks back at the man. "If you don't give us the damn table, I'll give a call to my boyfriend that is the head of the Rivera gang a few blocks down from this bougie ass place. I'm sure you've heard of them–everyone in Seattle has." Louis lets out a bit of sass.

The man's smile disappeared and clears his throat. "P–Please, don't do that. Police and ambulances will have to get called and maybe a fire department–we've dealt with those people before and really don't want to again." The man sounded nervous while taking a deep breath. "Just follow me." He walks from behind the counter and starts to walk over to the darkened area where all the tables are and shows the boys the table they can sit at, which is ten feet away from Harry and Liam's table.

"Thank you, sir." Louis sits down in his picked seat and watches as Zayn sits down still looking pissed and annoyed.

"Oh my God." The man mumbles while walking away.

"Zee?...Can you please not do this."

"Do _what!?_ "

"Be mad about something that..honestly isn't that serious. I mean, it's not like Trever is looking for you. Just stay away from him and you're good."

"I'm not mad about that. You don't even–" he stops himself from talking while looking away from Louis. "Just get this Harry shit over with. Can't fucking stand selfish people."

Louis frowns at him. "I'm fucking selfish? I asked you to do me one favor and you bitch! Now you're calling me selfish!?"

"Yes! You're selfish! I told you why I couldn't do this stupid stunt and you didn't give a fuck!"

"Louis? _Zayn_?" Louis stops breathing a bit after hearing Harry's somewhat high voice. He turns his head to his right and sees Harry sitting there with Liam. They stare at each other for several seconds before Harry get pissed off. "Gotta be fucking kidding me." Harry stands up and walks away from the area.

Liam shouts after Harry but he ignored him and kept walking until he was near the men's bathroom. Louis watched as Harry walked away and then turned back to the table. "Should I go after him?"

"Go fuck yourself." Zayn grabs a glass of wine from a waiter walking by even though it wasn't for him.

Louis rolls his eye and stands up. "Fine, but I'll enjoy that tonight." He walks away to go follow Harry into the bathroom.

Zayn takes a sip of the wine and made a face not enjoying the taste. "God, one thing I don't miss about the rich life." He notices Liam from the corner of his eye and turns to see that he's staring at him. "God," he looks away with a sigh.

Harry was standing at the mirror avoiding eye contact with himself, waiting for Louis to come into the bathroom knowing that he will. He looks up at the mirror when he hears the door swing open.

"Wow," Louis whispers to himself looking around at the nice small hallway in the bathroom. It has soft cranberry walls with a chandelier no marble flooring and it smells not like shit. He walks down the small hall until he ends up in the big space where the stalls, urinals, and sinks are. He looks at Harry turning himself to look at him.

"Why?"

Louis' eye move away and then looks back at Harry. "Why what?"

"Figure it out." He snapped.

Louis stays silent for the moment while licking his lips slowly. "...Look, Harold, I have feelings for you. Feelings that make me wanna cry honestly cause it's different and...I don't know if I could trust you. Ever since..my ex, I couldn't trust any guy that came my way–"

"I didn't come your way. You were the one that wanted to give me credit for a class I didn't give a fuck about. You set up the Starbucks date, you told me about your finger rape situation, you were the one making moves–not _me_."

Louis swallows while looking down away from Harry. He's not sure if he's showing hurt on his face so he doesn't wanna show it.

"I made it very clear to you in that message that I don't wanna be with you. I am on a date with Liam. I want him. I feel comfortable around him. I feel like I can myself without feeling ashamed–without feelings afraid that he'll judge me."

Louis crosses his arms over his shoulder not knowing what else to do with his hands.

"To me, you're no longer Louis. You are my teacher Mr. Tomlinson and I am going to treat you as such. I am your student and you're going to treat me as such...Am I understood?"

Louis stays silent not wanting to speak because he knows that if he does his voice will break and he'll start crying.

But Harry's tipsy-off-wine self didn't want his teacher to respond, he just wanted to say what he needed to say and leave. He starts to walk away from the sink and past Louis, but then stops midway and turns around to look back at him. "I don't know how or why you know my cousin, but you can totally have him if you want him. He's your age and you two will be happy." Harry smiles. "If you don't mind, I'm gonna go have some more wine. I just love the way it tastes. It's sweet and bitter." He turns around and starts walking towards the door, opens it and walks out.

Zayn chuckles and then places his hand over his mouth while starting to laugh.

Liam smiles while looking down at a basket of bread sticks. "You promised you wouldn't laugh."

Zayn tries to calm down. "I'm sorry. It's just..hard not to. You had your first time with a fat practice girl." He laughs more. "I'm picturing it and it makes even funnier."

"A lot of guys have practice girls." Liam couldn't help but continue to smile at Zayn.

"Not _me_." Zayn sing-song while grabbing a bread stick from the basket closest to Liam.

"How old are you?" Liam watches as Zayn but into the soft bread stick and it made him swallow hard.

"Older than you, kid," Zayn speaks with a stuffed mouth voice.

"...I've never been with someone older."

Zayn stops chewing and slowly swallows. He just stares at Liam's dark eyes that have a certain kind of glow in them from the lamp orangy lamp light near them. His lips part a but while he thinks of what to say next.

"Well, then maybe I should and let you two continue this little cute session here," Harry says while picking up his wine glass still on the table. He takes a long sip and then looks at Zayn. "You know, I should take that bread stick and shove it down your throat. Watch you choke on it and then watch you die."

"Whoa, Harry–what the hell is wrong with you?" Liam was furrowing his brows at him defending Zayn.

"It's fine Liam–"

Harry laughs. "He's my fucking cousin so calm yourself." He tilts his head back a little to finish the rest of his wine and then sets the cup down on the table. "So, Liam...Do you wanna come to my mansion with me and explore my giant bedroom?"

Liam's eyes look at Zayn and then back at Harry. He opens his mouth about to answer.

" _Or_ would you rather fuck Zayn tonight?" Zayn gives Harry a look. "By the looks of it I'm guessing a Zayn is your choice. You were smiling at him in a way you never smiled at me." He chuckles while picking up Liam wine glass. "Listen to me, sounding like a drama movie. Anyways, I'm gonna leave. I'm sure Zayn will pay, right?" He looks at Zayn but didn't wait for an answer. "Bye!" He starts walking away from the table and out of the dining area.

Liam looks at Zayn. "He gets like that when drinking."

"He's my cousin, I know how he gets...Fuck, Louis." Zayn gets up and starts to head towards the bathrooms. He heard Liam call after him but he kept going. He pushes the bathroom door opens and sees Louis sitting against the wall in the small hallway. "...Hey,"

Louis was looking down at his fingers playing with each other on his lap. "...I don't get it." His voice was high and shaky which tells Zayn he was probably crying.

He lets the door shut while slowly stepping over to Louis, and getting down on the clean floor to sit near his legs straightened out. He straightens his legs to touch the wall Louis' back is against. "Harry has bipolar disease. If he showed you a side you've never seen then..don't stress..or cry." He smirks.

Louis looked up at him with tears on his face. "He's bipolar?"

Zayn nods. "He doesn't know about it but everyone else in the Styles/Malik family does cause his grandmother had it."

"Had?" Louis' voice was still high and shaky.

"Yeah, she died. Laid in a tub with a toaster when Harry was about two years old. Usually, people with bipolar disease suffers from depression."

"He's depressed too?"

Zayn nods. "He's not good with hiding cuts. I'm surprised you e never noticed them. Eventually, Harry will end up like his grandmother if he doesn't get the help he needs. It seems though that Harry changes when he has some kind of chemical inside of him–like alcohol or bad drugs. Taking pills doesn't seem to change him."

"...Harry should know he has these problems."

"I agree with you but his parents don't want him to know. The only thing he knows is that he changes when drinking."

"I think he hates me. He says I make him uncomfortable." Another year comes out of his eye.

"I'm sure he didn't mean it. You just gotta know when to talk to him. Make sure he's sober and not on drugs and then you two are good to go."

"But, I don't wanna be with an iffy Harry. I wanna be with him but I don't want him talking to me like I'm garbage."

"Learn to put him in his place."

"Have you tried that?"

"Yup."

"Did it work?"

"Nope."

Louis rolls his eyes and looks back down at his fingers. "What am I suppose to do?...I love him, Zee."

"...Secretly, get him the help he needs. Wait until he's sober enough to get him to a hospital. Or where ever people go when they're bipolar."

"But even his sober self-doesn't wanna be around me. He was sober when he sent me that message...Can you find out from him why he doesn't wanna be with me?"

"...I guess. If he doesn't try to cut me." Zayn gets on his feet with bent knees and reached his hand out. "Come on, let's go back to the apartment."

Louis looks up at Zayn's hand...he takes it and stands up with him. "Do I at least look cute tonight?"

"Yes, you look cute. Harry is missing out. Especially on that big ass of yours."

"My ass isn't big–I just have wide hips."

"Yeah, okay." They laugh while walking out of the bathroom. While they were walking towards the area they were in, Zayn notices Liam is still there. "Shit, he's still there. I feel bad leaving him there."

"Awe, so after all that bitching you like him?" Louis smiles.

"I didn't say I like him, I just feel bad leaving him there."

"Then don't leave him. Stay. Enjoy yourself. I'll wait in the car."

"Lou, no–"

"You deserve to be happy with a guy that isn't Trever...have fun." He kisses Zayn on the cheek and then walks away out of the dining area.

Zayn slowly walks over to the table and sighs. "Food is here."

"Yeah, it came about two minutes ago...y–you don't have to stay here if you don't want to. This night got pretty fucked you."

"Yeah it did, but...I don't mind it if you don't." He sits down while smiling.

Liam smiles back at him back looks down at his plate of food.  
  


Louis was walking out of the restaurant into a pretty chilly night. "Fuck, I hate the cold." He pulls down his sleeves more over his fingertips and Eros his arms around himself. He starts walking down the sidewalk to find Zayn's brother's black car. He wasn't sure if he didn't find the car or not because the driver's door was open. "What the..." He stops walking and squints his eyes trying to see better but couldn't catch who was inside the car. He starts walking over again. "Hey!" He gets off the sidewalk over to the open driver's door. "What the fuck are you–...Harry?"

Louis' eyebrows lift staring at Harry's position half in the car. His knees were on the road and the rest of his body was in the driver's seat while his hands were playing around with something at the bottom of the car. He couldn't help by stare at Harry's ass and biting his lip.

"...What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to hotwire this thing."

Louis frowns. "This is Zayn's brother's car.

"I know who's fucking car it is. Why are you worrying about it?"

"Cause Zayn's driving me home in this."

"No, he's not. Get a bus or a taxi."

Louis scoffs about to snap, but he takes a deep breath and wrote his arms around himself again to stay a bit warm. "Move, Harold. You're not taking Zayn's car. You take a fucking taxi or bus."

Harry ignores him and continues to try to hot wire the car.

"Did you _hear_ me?"

"Do you like the view?"

"Excuse me?" Louis steps closer to Harry when a car drives by.

"My ass? Do you like the view?"

Louis' eyebrows lift again. "I'm not answering that."

"I take that as a yes. Whoo!" Harry's shout frightened Louis as he finally hot-wired the car.

"Jesus, Harry!" He hears the nine running. "Are you seriously gonna steal his car?"

"Yeah." Harry gets out of the car. "You wanna ride?" He smirks at Louis.

"You're gonna give me a ride home?"

Harry's smirk drops. "I didn't mean that kind of ride but..sure–why not?" Harry gets in the driver's seat.

"God, you are bipolar," Louis mumbles to himself before taking a step.

"What was that?" Harry asked before closing the door.

"Nothing." Louis starts to walk over to the passenger door while hearing the drivers door close. He opens it up and gets in. "I'm gonna text Zayn that we're taking his car." I shut the door while taking my phone out of my pocket.

"Brothers car." Harry corrects while pulling out closely in front of a car that was about to pass but. He laughs when he hears them beep. "I was serious about that ride. I was supposed to get some from Liam tonight, but he would rather have my cousin so,"

Louis looks at him with furrowed brows and then rolls his eyes looking back down at his text with Zayn. "It's just the bipolar talking, Louis. It's just the bipolar talking." He mumbles more to himself.

"I can't hear you."

"I didn't say anything." He finishes texting Zayn. He heavily sighs as he lays his head back on the chair.

"You look so cute in that shirt." Harry compliments. "I bet it would look better on you if it was the only thing you had on."

Chills went down Louis' spine. He wanted to smirk but he didn't. He wanted to say thank you but he didn't. He wanted Harry to notice what he looks like–that's why he put the shirt on, but now hearing Harry's compliment felt more like sexual harassment. He feels like he's back at Twinks where horns men would tell him how good he looks and how he'd look better with one piece of clothing in or just nothing. Harry made him feel disgusted with himself and for that he started to tear up.

"Can you drive faster–I wanna get home." He practically whispered with a shaky voice.

"I'm crashing at your place cause I'm gonna be too lazy to drive to your place and then mine...You have any chocolate at your place? What about cake or any kind of desert?"

Louis ignores Harry's annoying questions and voice. He just stares straight ahead with tears falling down on his face. _How am I gonna find Harry help when I need help myself?...I need help.._

 


	16. Difference

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone on AOOO that reads this story! There's two new stories I'm going to take from WattPad to here as well! I'd love to see comments...xxxxx.

** Harry **   
  


It's a beautiful morning with the sun glowing and the clouds puffy like cotton candy. It smells like fresh air with clean cut grass out there with birds chirping, butterflies everywhere and _bullshit._ It's a typical Seattle morning with no sun. Just clouds covering the whole damn sky with water falling out of them. It probably smells like garbage out there with no pretty creatures roaming around. I'm listening to the rain drops pelting on Louis' bedroom window. I'm laying on his bed with my head resting on my hand and my body facing Louis. I'm multitasking with staring at how adorable this guy sleeps and staring at the wet rain pelting window.

Last night was difficult and weird but I'm not complaining. I took Louis home. He was crying for some reason. He took Benadryl and fell asleep in his clothes and I thought that was like retarded so I took his clothes off for him (while he was dead asleep), but I left his red lace panties on. I laughed when I saw he was wearing them. They're cute and they look cute on him with his big ass. He's an attractive guy and I would never pass up a guy like him, but he makes me nervous and makes me feel like I have a huge crush on him. Ew. I hate it. It freaks me out so I wanted to stay away from him....but how could I? He's so adorable when he sleeps and...seeing him silently cry last night made me wonder if it was cause of me...

I use my free hand to caress his brown hair that felt really soft and warm. I couldn't help the smirk that crept on my face as Louis sleepily heavy sighs, feeling his breath hit my face. I leaned in slowly and gently pecked a kiss on his forehead...then I pecked his nose...then I kissed him on his soft lips. Too bad he's not awake to feel it and kiss back. When I heard him make a tiny noise I backed myself up from him, studying his little movements to see if he's waking up...Nope. Still sleeping. I heavily sigh and look back at the window noticing that the rain is coming down harder.

Just in case Louis wakes up miserable like he was last night, I'm gonna go make him a big breakfast that he'll enjoy. Who doesn't enjoy my cooking? Well, no one has ever tasted my cooking cause my maid's always cooked. Anyways, I sit up and get out of Louis' bed only wearing a big sweatshirt like shirt that's huge on me. I got it out of his closet–it's white and says 'Fuck Life' in cursive. I took my panties off cause they were tight and it's uncomfortable to sleep with them on. Thinking back at that now makes me wonder why I didn't take Louis' off if I thought they were uncomfortable...too late now.

I walk out of the bedroom and turn right to start heading into the kitchen slash living room area when I heard a knock on the door. I rolled my eyes dramatically and turned left to walk down the small hall towards the door. Before I could grab the handle the door swung open revealing a pretty handsome familiar man.

"Hey, it's you." The man greets with a smirk looking me up and down. "Someone had a good night. Is Louis living here?"

I smirk at the man while crossing my arms. "Who's asking?"

"His prince charming." His eyes travel down to my legs.

"Really? Is that what your name is?" I step closer to him to keep his eyes up on my face.

He locks his eyes on mine and chuckles. "I'm a close friend of Louis'–no need to get jealous. I'm sure you're just as good as I am in bed with him."

I laugh. "We're not sleeping together. But from that comment of yours, I'm guessing you use to sleep with him. Are you his ex-fiance? Wait...Louis isn't a virgin? Did you really finger rape him?"

"Finger rape him?" The man laughs. "No, sweetheart, all the freaky sex we had was consensual and romantic–now is he asleep? Awake?"

My smirk faded and I think I was showing a doleful or quizzical expression at him. "He lied to me?...Why would he lie about being raped? Why would he lie about being a virgin–why would he open up to me like–fuck!" I turn away from the man and start thinking about everything Louis told me in the past month we've known each other. "And to think I was going to open myself up to him," I mumbled to myself.

"...Is he..sleeping? Pretty sure he would have come to the door by now." He mumbled to himself.

I looked at the man studying him steadily. I blinked and turned around walking towards his bedroom. "He's sleeping." I walk into the room and waited for the man to come in. "He took Benadryl last night and never woke up. I mean, he's not dead–he's breathing." I looked at the man and he had a pitying expression on his face as he walked closer to sit on the bed near Louis.

"What happened to him last night?" He starts to caress his hair and I can't help but feel the need to tell him 'Get the fuck off my man'.

"Nothing."

"Something had to of happened." He snapped a bit loudly looking at me. "He only takes that crap _or_ drugs if he wants to shut off his brain for a while–sleep a long time to stay away from people." He looks back down at Louis and starts whispering something.

I stand there feeling awkward and fucking pissed. This guy should really not be trying to lecture me on Louis when _he's_ the ex in the situation. Louis left his ass for a reason...and it wasn't because of what he told me.

"Baby...Baby, wake up." He whispers softly in his ear. "Come on, get up." I watch him kiss his temple gently and I get a twisty feeling in my stomach. Words were just itching to come out of my mouth. "Wake up, boobear."

Boobear? Is that his nickname...It's cute if I say but him saying it just sounds pathetic. "He hates you, you know." That wasn't a complete lie since Louis' fake story sounded as if he hated the man, but he hasn't talked about him since.

The guy looks up at me and then back down at Louis and continues to whisper shit in his ear. "If he's not with you anymore then that means you shouldn't be here. You need to leave now. Louis won't be happy that you're he–"

"Go make my sweetheart something to eat." He smirks at me.

I frown at him. "Excuse me?"

We both turn our attention to Louis as he makes those adorable little noises and shifts his position on his back. "Morning, baby." the guy greets and Louis sits up quickly.

"The hell are you doing here!?" He looks at me and then back at the guy. "How did you know where I lived–don't touch me!" He gets out of his bed when the guy reaches his arm out to probably touch his leg. "Harry, you let him in!?" He cut himself off looking down at himself. "Where are my clothes–don't talk to me!" He shouts at the guy who was trying to call him baby again.

"Hey, hey. Relax, I'll kick him out. Stop..freaking out." I walk over to the guy and grab his arm. "Come on, he doesn't want you here." I manage to get him on his feet but I'm pretty sure it's because he used most of the strength to stand up.

"Baby, can you let me take you out for the day?"

"No, are you fucking crazy!?" I watched as Louis walks over to his closet to probably get clothes to put on.

"You look pretty good though in those red lace." The guy was smirking and I made a gagging noise. "You suck at flirting–just go," I say while shoving the guy from behind him towards the door.

"Boobear, what do you say?" He turns around in the door frame not being able to see Louis since he's over at his closet. "Breakfast at your fave diner?"

"Fuck off, Kai." He shouts. "And get out!"

"Yeah, you heard him. Fuck off." I say with a smirk. "And get out."

He looks at me and smirks back. "Would you like to have breakfast with me? I'm sure if you go then he'll want to go." He speaks in a low tone probably so his boo bear doesn't hear.

"And why would he do that?" I think I'm flirting with this Kai person. Even though him touching Louis pisses me off, he's pretty hot and has a built body under the black tank top and plaid red and black opened shirt. I wouldn't mind having his body all over me.

"Because he likes you– _if_ you're the Harold he talks about. He thinks you're an Angel sent from above. To me, you like a slut wearing _my_ shirt. And you've changed since the last time I remember seeing you."

"When have you ever seen me?" I was curious but still sounded as if I was flirting.

"In Twinks. You were sitting all alone and I gave you company. You don't remember?" He didn't seem like he actually cared for an answer but I gave it to him anyway.

"I think I'm starting to remember, but back to the reason you think Louis will come if I come." I chuckle on the inside at those dirty suggestive words.

He sighs still smirking and leans in close to me. "He'll get scared that I might do something to ya. So if you come with me to the diner then he'll come–and I really need him to come."

"Why? Want a second chance?" I teased.

"Not want. Need. I love him."

"Bullshit, no way you love him when you want to fuck _me_ right now."

"I do...but I won't." He looks away from me to look over at Louis that just stepped away from his closet wearing a cranberry colored sweatshirt like shirt and dark skinny jeans.

"Get out, Kai. I don't want you here. Get out or I'm calling the police."

"I wanna eat some breakfast." I played along with Kai's plan. "I was gonna cook some for you, but now I have a chance to save energy and eat somewhere else."

Louis looks at me and then Kai. "Alright, then both of you get the fuck out. Now. Take that shirt off cause you're not leaving here with it." He snaps at me.

I was about to say something but then Kai interrupted me. "Actually, that's my shirt so he can leave with it if he wants to." He looks at me. "Come on, kitten. Let's go get breakfast."

Kitten? I love that nickname. "Meow," I responded cutely and walked over to the bed to grab my pants and shoes.

"The shirt is not yours anymore. Take it off, Harold." He spoke sternly and it made my stomach twist again. He sounds as if he wants to cry and I look up at him. "Take it. Off." Does he really care about a shirt that's not his?

"I'll wait outside for you, Kitten." I looked over at Kai walking away from the door frame...the door shuts normally and then I look back at Louis.

"If I have to rip it off of you, I will," Louis spoke as he walks over to his closet again.

I drop my pants and shoes back where they were and walk over to my teacher. "Do you still love him?" I asked seriously, not flirting, and not joking.

"Are you still drunk? Did you take a pill or some shit cause you're still a bitch from last night." His words literally cut me like my razor. I've never been called a bitch by anyone except myself. Even if someone did call me a bitch it wouldn't hurt as much as it does hearing it from Louis.

I clear my throat softly not looking bothered by his remark. "If he didn't finger-rape you then what did he do that you hate him?" I asked softly leaning my head against the closet frame.

He doesn't answer me right away. He grabs a black hoodie to put on and then he starts looking around for shoes. "...It's none of your business."

"I want it to be my business."

"But it won't. I'm not dealing with someone that's iffy. Take off the damn shirt."

"It's cozy. It's like a sweatshirt but not. And I love the words 'Fuck Life' on it." I looked down at the white shirt and then looked back up at Louis.

"Kay, guess I have to do things myself." He grabs the waistband of the shirt and roughly lifts it up over my head. I laugh a bit watching him ball it up and throw it in the closet.

"That kinda turned me on. That whole rough routine thing you did there–"

"Get. The fuck. Out, Harry. Or I'm calling your parents."

"That turned me on even more. A hot teacher threating to call my parents. What else you got?"

Louis closes his eyes looking pretty frustrated as he runs his hands through his hair several times. "You're driving me fucking crazy–one minute you're acting as if I'm your ground, then you tell me you don't want to be with me cause I make you feel like you have to change, and _now_..you're flirting with me. You're fucking with my emotions and I _don't_ appreciate it!" He brushes past me.

I rolled my eyes and turned around to face where he's now standing, at his dresser looking at himself in the mirror. "Do you know the difference between lust and love?" I asked in a tone that confused me and most likely him too. I sounded curious of the question myself even though I was trying to ask in a way to get him to understand what it means...but I don't even know what it means...

He looks at me after a minute of silence. "...I've never learned the difference...Why? Are you saying that all you feel–all you've ever felt for me was lust?"

"Well, for fuck's sake–I'm only eighteen–how am I suppose to fall in love with someone so young!?" I felt offended. Am I not suppose to have lust for someone? Why do I have to feel love at this age?

"That's not the fucking point!" My eyes widen at his loud tone. "...You know what, this isn't even your fault. I'm the idiot adult that should have known better than to fall for a confused kid that doesn't know what he wants...You were just different, Harold...Until now. Whatever mental issue you have with personality." He shrugs. "I don't wanna deal with it." He started to walk out of his room.

Where is he going? Is he coming to breakfast with us?  
  
  


~❅~  
  
  


This diner is very nice and neat–unlike most greasy diners. The reason this place is so nice and neat is cause it's on the rich side of town where I live. Looks like someone other than me has tons of money. (And Louis left this guy cause...?)

Anyways, we were seated by a window that was closed with thick cranberry colored curtains. All the windows were covered that way making the place look dark, but lit by dimmed little lamps on each table. Every seat in this place were circular booths that you just slide into. Louis was in the middle, I was on the edge of his right side and Kai was on the edge of Louis' left side.

A woman gave us our menu's moments ago and we're just silently and awkwardly just scanning our menu's looking for something good to eat. I already knew what I wanted cause I come here all the time (except for the past month I've known Louis). I always order pancakes with a lot of bacon cause those are my favorite things to eat in life, but the reason I'm still holding up my menu is cause if I put it down that means I'm doing nothing else. I honestly don't wanna be the first person to spark up a conversation and I really don't wanna keep holding this menu...Fuck it, I'll just go to the bathroom.

I stood up from the booth and somewhat bumped into a man holding a pitcher of water that fell on the ground, and of course, one movement I slipped and fell and.....

"Harry?"

"Harold?"

I heard two voices calling out my name as I slowly sat up from a cold wet ground.

"Damn, you alright?" I looked at a familiar guy laughing at me while holding his hand out towards me.

I place my hand in his and let him help me up from the floor. I examined his features to see where I know him from.

"Harold, are you okay? You hit your head on the table - I thought you..died or something cause I see shit like that in movies." My cheeks start to blush as Mr. Tomlinson starts examining my head and hugging me tight for what felt like forever.

I rest my head on his shoulder while hugging him back. "What's happening? Where are we?" I whispered in his ear.

He quickly lets go of me but keeps his hands on my shoulder, frowning at me. "What do you mean?"

I look at the familiar man that helped me up then started to yell at some man that looks like he works in this diner - oh my God, I love this diner! I remember I always went here to eat breakfast lunch and dinner when I don't feel like eating with my family -

 _"Harold?"_ Louis was looking worriedly and confused at me. 'Please, don't tell me that table erased your memory - Kai leave the man alone!" Louis looked behind him at the man that I guess is named Kai, then he looked back in my eyes. Crap, I hate when he looks at me with his blue eyes - it makes my stomach all twisty and my cheeks won't stop feeling hot.

"What time is it?" I asked. "Did I...Did I go on that date with Liam - is this why I'm here - did you take me away from the dinner -"

"Harry, what the fuck - that was last night! It's nine in the morning! My ex wanted to take out for breakfast - the fuck is wrong with you!?"

My eyes widen and step back from him, slowly wrapping my arms around me. "I-I'm sorry, I don't -...I don't know what's happening." I spoke softly.

Mr. Tomlinson stopped frowning at me and he just stared at me for a moment. I feel really awkward just standing here while this man continues to yell at the services..for tripping me?

"Harry, sit down," Louis says softly to me. "I need to tell you something."

I try not to make eye contact with him. I slowly slid into the booth we were in front of and slid all the way to the middle, and Louis slid in sitting close to me but shifted himself to face me; his arm slung over the chair near my back. "What?" I asked quietly.

"You have bipolar disease and I'm taking you to your doctor to get medication." I frown at him. He's speaking very nonchalantly as if he...

I look into his eyes. "Who told you that?"

"Did you already know?" Now he sounds curious and stern.

I shook my head. "If I have bipolar disease how could I know? All I remember was...cutting myself to Nobody's Home." I looked away from him and frowned remember that day. I was preparing to do my cutting routine while calling Niall asking for Liam's number and that's all I remember...

I look back at Louis wiping his face his hand and looking back at me. "I'm gonna pass the part about the cutting and continue on with the bipolar." He sighs. "I found out from Zayn. He says your grandmother had it and it passed down to you, but no one in your family wanted to inform you about it for reasons I don't fucking understand."

"Can you tell me what happened yesterday?"

"You're not gonna deny that you might have bipolar disease?" He asked me in a hushed tone.

"Why would I? I mean, if that's what I have then that's what I have. Can you please tell me what happened yesterday?"

He was looking at me with hurt eyes and then looked down at his pants..or my pants..wherever he's looking down. "...Do you remember writing a note to me?"

"No,"

"Getting ready for your date with Liam?"

"No,"

"Sitting with Liam in an expensive ass restaurant?"

"No, mister."

"Seeing me and Zayn there on a date?"

"What!?" I bit my bottom lip realizing how loud I was and that I caught Louis' eyes on me again. "You went on a date with Zayn? Why? That's my cousin - you know my cousin?"

"Yeah - we're just friends. We went on a fake date to make..to make you jealous and leave Liam..."

I looked down at my hands twiddling with each other. My cheeks were on fire again and a smirk was creeping on my face. It's a good thing my teacher can't see it cause my hair is blocking my face. He was trying to make me jealous which means he was trying to get with me...He likes me.

"Well, what happened?" I asked holding back a giggle.

"...You broke my heart..again." His voice cracked a little.

I looked up at him and frowned. "What?"

He looks at me while licking his lips...His eyes travel down looking at something on me. I follow his gaze and I think he's looking at my arms. I watch as his hand reaches over to grab one of my arms and pulls the sleeve up revealing my bare arm...I watch him grab a napkin and dip it in water and then he starts to rub it up and down my arm...soon revealing my scars and cuts.

I looked away from him not wanting to see how he looks at me after he sees this. I felt that feeling in the back of my eyes that meant tears were about to form. "Harold," I heard his soft low tone voice sounding a bit sweet. "let's go to your doctor, yeah?"

I look at him. "For what?"

"Both problems." He caresses my hair and it feels so good to have him touch me so gently. "Kai can drive us since he's trying to be such a gentleman today." We both turn and look at the man still arguing with the manager of the diner and the poor worker.

"Mister?"

"Yeah,"

"Who's Kai?"


End file.
